I try to fight my own tears, because I know we’re being ridiculous. We will see each other pretty much every day. She’s still going to work at Noteworthy because she practically owns the place now, and we’ll get together with our friends for brunch and drinks and bitch fests.
But it won’t be the same as living together, and we both know it.
“I’ll miss you too.” I squeeze her hand, proud that I’m suppressing my tears. I don’t want to look weak in front of Carter, though I shouldn’t give a damn about what he thinks of me. “Is this your way of telling me that you’re finally moving in with Alex?”
Caroline’s laugh is watery and she sniffs, wiping the tears away from her eyes with her free hand. “Yes, but I have the best idea for your next roommate.”
I remove my hand from hers, grabbing my water glass so I can drain the last of it before our server returns with the to-go box and our check. I’m about to grab it when Alex swipes it right from under my nose. I send him a look but he silently shakes his head at me before grabbing his credit card from his wallet and handing it to the still waiting server.
“Thank you for dinner,” I tell Alex before I turn my attention to Caroline. “Who exactly are you thinking of?” My mind runs through a collage of our friends’ faces, but every single one of them has their own place already, so I’m not sure who she could be talking about. Kelsey, maybe? I know she’s complained about living with her roommates recently. I take one last sip of my water.
“Well.” Caroline looks from me to Carter, then back at me again. “I was thinking my brother should move in with you.”
I spit the water out, some of it spattering Caroline’s face, and she immediately throws her hands up to cover herself. “Stella, what the hell!”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” I snag the napkin from my lap and wipe at my face, then lean over the table to offer it to Caroline, who’s dropped her hands by now. She shakes her head and grabs her own cloth napkin, delicately wiping at her face until all traces of water and my saliva is gone. Alex appears both shocked and amused, I’m guessing because I just gave a literal spit take.
But seriously, did she really just suggest Carter move in with me? Notice how quiet he is right now, hmmm?
“Hear me out,” Caroline says, holding up a hand as I’m about to say something. AKA argue. I immediately clamp my lips shut. I’ll let her explain herself and then tell her no.
Easy peasy.
“Carter is currently staying at the Wilder Hotel in Pebble Beach, but he doesn’t want to stay there forever. It’s temporary. Just like if he moved in with you, it would be temporary, you know? But my old bedroom is going to be empty and he could cover my rent. And within a couple of months tops, he’ll figure out what he wants to do, where he wants to live, and he’ll move out,” Caroline says, sounding perfectly logical.
Yes, I can agree her idea is logical. Practical. All those cal words. But I can’t live with Carter. No way. No how. This is a man I’ve kissed. With tongue. A man who’s had his mouth on my vagina. A man whose penis has been inside my body.
A man who’s given me orgasms and seen my face when I have them. Who’s muttered dirty words in my ear and stroked my clit just so.
Nope.
No sir.
Can’t do it.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Caroline,” Carter says, his deep, rumbly voice making things inside of me rumble pleasantly in return. Curse his sexy voice to hell, I swear. “We don’t get along that well.”
“That’s not true,” I tell him, then clamp my lips shut. Why am I protesting? Honestly though, what he said isn’t true. We got along pretty damn well that night, though it’s not like we’re going to have any repeat performances. It would be an absolute disaster, the two of us in that small apartment together. He’d make me crazy. I’d make him crazy.
We might have sex again.
No, no, no. That won’t happen. I look over at Caroline, who’s studying me with a concerned look on her face and I immediately feel bad. I’m usually so easygoing. With anyone else, I’d be like sure! Move in!
Not Carter. Not after what happened between us.
I just don’t want Caroline thinking I hate her brother.
Okay, fine, I definitely don’t hate him. I just hate how I react to him when he’s close. I hate that we had the most amazing sex of my life and he walked away like it didn’t even matter to him. I hate that he is turning me on just sitting next to me, yet he acts like I don’t affect him whatsoever.
Oops. Yeah, I hate him. A lot.
“Come on, Stel. Be real right now. Can you imagine us living together?” He raises his brows and I stare at him, trying to understand what he’s trying to tell me. That yes, it would be totally amazing for us if we lived together, or it would be his every living nightmare?
“It might not be so bad,” I say, wanting to smack myself.
“You really believe that?” He quickly glances over at Caroline. “You two used to try and prank me when we were younger. I woke up with my hand in a glass of warm water once.”
Oh right. The time we tried to get him to pee the bed. We read about that trick on the internet, but it didn’t work. “We were kids.”
“It wasn’t that long ago,” he taunts. “You might try something like that again.”
“Please.” I meet his gaze, see the challenge in those pretty blue depths. My own take that attitude rises up and I say to him, “I’ve grown up a lot since then.”
The pointed look he sends me says he agrees, and I look away from him, my face growing warm.
“Then why the message on my cup?” he asks.
“What message?” Caroline asks.
I turn to face Carter once more. “It was genuine concern,” I tell him, my voice extra sweet. “Pooping your pants would be terrible.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Caroline sounds totally confused.
We’re not even paying attention to her.
Alex cough-laughs into his fist.
“We’ve really never gotten along,” Carter says, his gaze never wavering from mine. “Living together would be an absolute nightmare.”
Ouch. Does he really think living with me would be that terrible?
“Maybe you’re the one who’s a complete nightmare. I’ll have you know I’m an excellent roommate,” I say, lifting my chin.
“It’s true,” Caroline chimes in, like the best friend she is. “And Carter is pretty easy to live with too. Minus his slobbish ways.”
“I was seventeen for the love of God,” he groans. “We haven’t lived together for years, and you’re always going to hold that against me?”
I turn so quickly, I almost give myself whiplash. Why is she pushing for this? It’s a terrible idea. “Really, Caroline?”
Her expression falters and I can see the cogs turning in her brain. “Maybe?”
“Don’t bother trying to convince her, Caro,” Carter says, slowly shaking his head. “She won’t budge. Stella is very stubborn.”
“I am not.” If I was a bird, I would shake my body, desperate to get my ruffled feathers back into place.