I blink and look away from Lug Nut’s brown eyes. “Reese Lopez,” I manage to answer, my voice not really anything more than a whisper.
“Alright, Reese. I don’t know how much you’ve been able to pick up, but you’re safe here with us,” he assures me. “I apologize for breaking your former alpha bond and forming a new one. But we were concerned that you were being held against your will.”
“I was,” I admit.
He nods grimly, and I can see a flash of anger cross in his light eyes. “If you want me to sever this new alpha bond with you, all you have to do is say so, okay?”
My eyebrows go up in surprise. I don’t think any alpha has ever offered to let a pack member go rogue out of the generosity of his heart. It’s usually only done as a punishment when shifters are forced into exile. It’s not often that one alpha will let a shifter go freely.
The thing is, now that it’s done, I’m grateful. I’m so damn grateful that my bond with Sid is severed. It’s like a tumor has been cut from my body. Where Sid’s bond always felt like a barb stuck into my side, Hugo’s just feels like a ladder—like with his help, I can climb out of the hole I dug myself in.
And this...I look around at the others. I’ve observed them for weeks, and I’ve never seen any sort of violence or vindictiveness or even a fight. This pack is different. It would be nice to be in a pack like this. To be part of something like they have. But I can’t stay here. I can’t lead Sid here to these people.
“What year is it?” I ask, my throat tight and my voice scratchy.
They share a look and then Hugo clears his throat and tells me. As soon as I hear the number, the blood drains from my face. Five years? I’ve been stuck in my animal form for five years?
“Holy smokes, it’s been five years?” Addie asks with wide eyes, since I unintentionally whispered it aloud.
Lug Nut and Hugo share a look, but my mind is reeling. When I let my rat take the reins back then, I lost track of the days. Time passes differently as an animal. I had a feeling it was a long time, but I didn’t realize I’d lost five whole years of my life. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.
Alpha Hugo switches topics. “Can you tell us what happened?”
I shake my head immediately. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to keep the truth to myself.
“I understand your hesitation, but I also need to keep the rest of the pack safe,” he tells me. “We want to help you, but we can’t do that if you don’t tell us everything. I have a rule: baggage is welcome as long as it’s labelled.”
I frown. “What?”
“He means that this pack is a family, and we don’t turn family away for having fucked up pasts. But you have to tell us what’s up so that we know what we’re dealing with,” Addie explains. “And then we’ll deal with it together.”
My heart rate kicks back up a notch as I look around at the faces watching me expectantly. They’ve already done so much for me. This alpha even broke my bond with Sid. Something I never even hoped could happen. I’ve put their pack in danger just by being here. I owe it to them to tell them the truth.
“Would you like to try and stand?” Lug Nut asks me.
“Yeah.” I would like that. Even though my muscles feel stretched and strange, I feel too small sitting down—too vulnerable. I want to stand on two feet again. To prove that I’m able.
But...I’m actually not sure that I can. He must see the worry on my face, because his tanned arm comes out, his hand outstretched for me. I take it gratefully, and then he helps pull me to my feet. I shake and tilt, but he lets me lean on him, and Addie slips her shoulders beneath my arm, helping me stay in place.
“Thanks.”
I’m wobbly, and being upright is weird, but it also feels...good. Like my spine is breathing for the first time in years, my limbs like wings that have been tucked away for far too long. I stretch and flex the muscles in my legs, enjoying the pleasurable burn that travels down them.
When I’m surer on my feet, I nod at them. Lug Nut’s hand falls away, and Addie backs up, and they both let me stand on my own.
I immediately fall on my ass.
Or I would’ve, if Lug Nut hadn’t caught me. My face burns with embarrassment. “Thanks. Again.”
He gives me a wink, and it’s the sexiest thing I think I’ve ever seen. Was I blushing before? Well, now my cheeks feel so hot I could cook on them.
All around me, the other shifters in the cafeteria are staring quietly, watching. I just showed a weakness in the middle of a strange pack. I’ll be lucky if I don’t have a dozen challenges thrown at me by dawn. I’ll have to fight or flee. But let’s be real, I can’t win in a fight against anyone. Anxiety churns within me.
Lug Nut’s nostrils flare, and I see him exchange a look with Hugo. Great. They can smell my worry. That makes me an even bigger target. I know better than this. Shifter politics are brutal. I should’ve made sure I showed no emotion or weakness. That’s the only way to survive in our world.
I wonder if the other arcane races—Canes—have it the same way? I’ve heard vampire hierarchy can be brutal, but I think shifters are in a league of our own.
The alpha turns to look over his shoulder at all the gawking pack members. “Everyone out.”
Without hesitation, everyone gets up and leaves. It sounds like a small stampede as all of the shifters in the large cafeteria file out until just our small group is left. Alpha Hugo, Addie, Lug Nut, and the huge bald dude are all that’s left to witness my weakness.
I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing yet. I can’t figure this pack out, but I want to trust them. And if I have any real hope of escaping, then they’re my best shot—my only shot—at having allies.
Lug Nut keeps an arm around my waist, helping me to balance some of my weight. I shouldn’t let him—shouldn’t lean on him like this, but he smells good, and my limbs are already tired, and I’m really not sure I can stand on my own, but I need to face them standing up. I need to meet this head-on. Hugo broke my alpha bond, and I need to be ready for whatever comes next.
I clear my throat and meet Alpha Hugo’s eye. “I grew up in a mischief—a pack of rats,” I explain. “When I was a kid, there were a lot of us, but then we had to relocate because of some territory wars. It took most of us out, our alpha included. We moved with only about a dozen of us left. And when we were looking for a place to settle down in again, that’s when we got hooked up with Sid.”
I swallow hard against the memory of when we first met him. He’d been so friendly and sure. Like the answer to our prayers. “He offered to take us in. He owned an apartment complex where his pack lived. He had empty spaces for us.”
“And he became your new alpha?”
I nod. “He was a mongoose—he and his pack. For a few months, everything was good. My mischief was able to settle in and feel safe again. We started to get used to our new life, and Sid helped us with everything, even got us jobs.”
I remember Sid helping me get a job as a gas station attendant. It wasn’t exactly fulfilling work, but it was a job, and I was thankful.
“The first time I brought home a paycheck, Sid was there waiting for me with his hand out. I thought it was a joke. I laughed.” The memory makes me grimace because I can still hear the crack of his hand against my cheek when he backhanded me. “He hit me so hard I fell to the ground, and then he plucked the paycheck from my fingers and stepped over me to go back inside. That was when I realized who Sid really is.”