She didn’t deserve their comfort. And if any of them knew what she had thought, what she had done…they would withdraw that comfort immediately.
But there was no avoiding the duty, so she pushed her shoulders back and started toward the desk. Before she reached it, though, there was a light knock on the partly open door behind her. She turned to find Higgins there with a package wrapped in brown paper tied with a blue bow. “This just arrived, Your Grace,” he said, coming into the room.
She motioned to the desk, her heart pounding. “A gift, how unexpected! Put it here, thank you!”
The butler did as he had been asked and then inclined his head and departed when Valaria said she needed nothing further. Once the door had been closed, she untied the ribbon and pushed away the paper wrapping. Her mouth dropped open. It was a stack of books, all new to her, but on the top was a highly sought-after copy of Guy Mannering, an adventure story with thieves and smugglers, as well as a struggle over inheritance. Everyone had talked about it relentlessly the last few months, though finding a copy was difficult since it continued to sell out at every store.
She clutched the book to her chest and as she did so a folded note fell onto the desktop. She picked it up and read her name in an efficient, masculine hand. She swallowed hard. Her first guess at the gifter could not be correct.
But when she unfolded the brief note, she found she was. The books were from Callum and he had written,
Valaria,
I recalled your love of reading and I hope that these will help pass the hours. I especially enjoyed Guy Mannering. It is worth the excitement around it. Perhaps we can speak about it when next we meet.
BLACKVALE
She stared at the words and then the books. She could not think of a time that Silas had ever engaged in her love of reading. He only grumbled when she had her mind in the worlds that words created, but he would never have thought to give her a book. That Callum had felt…intimate in some way. Like he knew something about her, even though he didn’t, not really. Plenty of people liked books.
“Still, it was very generous,” she murmured, and let her finger run along the length of the silky ribbon that had once bound the package. It meant he was thinking about her, perhaps not with the same intrusive fervor that she occasionally found herself thinking of him. But she still shivered at the thought.
Slowly she took the new book over to the fire and sat down to read. The letters could wait, and so could her continued confusion over Callum. For now she would do as he suggested and escape into the world of adventure.
She would just have to decide later how to respond to his gift if and when she saw him again. And decide if she had to see it as a potential danger, or just a kindness that she hadn’t had to earn, but had been given openly.
As dangerous as that idea was.
CHAPTER 5
It had been two days since she’d received Callum’s gift of books and Valaria’s anticipation of her next visit from him had only increased. Every time the bell at her door jingled, her heart leapt quite against her will. But he hadn’t come. He hadn’t written. He’d gone as silent as he had been in the few days before the delivery of his gift.
It seemed he had forgotten all about her, after all. That should have made Valaria happy. She ought to have been celebrating that fact and yet, as she sat on a picnic blanket in the park near Kent’s Row with Flora and Bernadette, she couldn’t help feeling…
Annoyed. Frustrated. Neglected.
“Oh, that is a very sour look,” Flora teased gently, reaching across the blanket to touch her hand. “Do you not like the wine?”
Valaria blinked and smiled at her friend. “I’m sorry. I was woolgathering, I admit. The wine is wonderful.” She took a sip to accentuate the point. “This is just the first time I’ve been out with friends since Silas’s death and I feel a little out of sorts.”
Bernadette’s expression softened. “Of course you do. Grief is difficult that way. It can strike at the most unexpected moments.”
Valaria pursed her lips together. Let her friends think that her hesitation was grief and not that every time someone looked at her, she wondered if they could read guilt in her expression. That the black gown she was forced to wear to signify mourning felt like chains across her shoulders, pulling her down and down and down forever.
Let them think what would keep them from judging and hating her.
“It was so kind of you to invite me,” Valaria said. “And this park is perfectly…” She trailed off without finishing her sentence because in that moment two men came walking up the path toward her and her party.
“Perfectly…?” Bernadette encouraged her to continue.
“Callum,” Valaria choked out, and then blinked as she forced her attention back to the duchesses. “I’m sorry, I just caught a glimpse of an old friend of my late husband’s, the Duke of Blackvale. He seems to be strolling our park with the Duke of Lightmorrow.”
Bernadette straightened a little and moved her head to seek out the gentlemen through the groups of people blocking their view. “Lightmorrow?”
“Do you know them?” Valaria asked, and hated how her voice trembled as the men grew nearer and Callum’s gaze fell on her. He lifted his brow and then tilted his hat before they crossed the lawn toward them.
“Oh, a little,” Bernadette said, and her hands fluttered in her lap. “Lightmorrow’s father and mine were neighbors in the country. I used to see him in the summer sometimes. I doubt he would recall me.”
Valaria couldn’t speak more on the subject for the men had reached them. The ladies all rose to greet them.
“Your Graces,” Callum said with a bow that Lightmorrow repeated. “What a fine day for a picnic. Such a grand idea.”
“It was, indeed. Good afternoon.” Valaria managed half a curtsey out of propriety. “Do you know my companions? May I present the Duchess of Sidmouth and the Duchess of Tunbridge.”
“Etta,” Lightmorrow said as he stepped up to take Bernadette’s hand and lift it to his lips briefly. “It’s been an age.”
Bernadette’s cheeks were flame red now and she nodded. “It has been, Theo…Your Grace. A delight to see you.”
He smiled at her, then turned his attention to Valaria and Flora. “And Your Graces. Good afternoon. Duchess Gooding, I am so sorry about your recent loss. I knew Silas a little.”
Valaria wrinkled her brow as she nodded her thanks. There was something faintly in Lightmorrow’s tone that told her he might not be entirely fond of her late husband. Which made her like him slightly more.
“What brings you to the park this fine afternoon, gentlemen?” Flora asked. “You are a long way from St. James or Hyde, which would seem close to both your homes.”
Valaria sent Flora a side glance. Her friend was correct, of course. Valaria had just been too distracted by the arrival of the men to ponder it. Was this Callum’s attempt to casually check on her again? To intrude ever so politely, despite her telling him she didn’t need his help? Or to demand thanks for the books, which she hadn’t told her friends about yet? She didn’t know why she’d kept them a secret exactly.