Stanley frowned at the two of them. Had he missed something?
“Mrs. Quinn, I’m afraid your instincts appear to have been correct. We detected a large mass in your uterus and all markers indicate that it may be a sarcoma. Further imaging and the results of your blood tests indicate that the cancer has not been confined to the uterus, but has spread throughout your abdomen, affecting several major organs, including your liver, as well as nearby lymph nodes.”
Stanley, all at once feeling like his stomach had lodged itself into his chest cavity, found himself rubbing the goosebumps that had erupted across the back of his neck. He heard the words, understood the words, but somehow his brain seemed unable to process them. The room had fallen into complete silence, save for a series of ragged, gasping breaths that were coming from… Where were they coming from? Were they coming from him?
“What are my options?” Marie asked, her voice shockingly calm.
He faltered a moment before answering. “You’ll need to get a biopsy to be sure…”
“But let’s assume it’s as you suspect – that the mass is a sarcoma. What then?”
Doctor Kreuter leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry to say, Mrs. Quinn, that the five-year survival rate is a mere fifty percent for patients whose tumor is confined to the uterus. Once it spreads beyond the uterus, it becomes an extremely poor prognosis. We could theoretically attempt to remove the tumors surgically, which would require a total abdominal hysterectomy and widespread excision throughout the surrounding organs. But judging by the imaging, the cancer has metastasized far too much to be able to excise completely. Beyond that, there’s chemotherapy and radiation, which may prolong your life somewhat, though the cost – the physical cost, that is – may far outweigh the benefits.”
Stanley felt as though someone had punched him in the gut; he tried to suck a mouthful of air into his lungs, but something heavy was blocking his windpipe. He spun in his seat to stare at his wife. The movement made the entire room churn and he felt as though the contents of his stomach might upend onto the floor.
“I see.” Marie’s eyes were closed. “How much time do I have?”
“Perhaps one year, at most, without surgery. Depending on how much of the cancer is excisable, chemotherapy and radiation might add another year or so on top of that… Now, I am no oncologist, but I have already placed calls to some of the larger hospitals in Helena for an oncology referral and a surgical biopsy. Time is of the essence, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go follow up on those to see if we can’t get someone in here to speak to you this afternoon.”
Marie nodded, her eyes trailing to Lilah, who was awake once more and whimpering softly. “Thank you, Doctor. For everything.”
He rose from his chair with the vigor of a much younger man, then placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder before excusing himself from the room.
Stanley felt numb, as though every nerve in his body had turned to ice. A deep throb ached in his chest, but it was a strange, faraway ache, as though the pain in his body was not his own. In that moment, it was like his own body belonged to someone else, and his mind had somehow disconnected itself from the rest of him.
“I don’t understand,” he whispered, staring at his wife – his young, beautiful, vibrant wife. It made no sense whatsoever. Surely the doctor was mistaken. Perhaps he was looking at the wrong file… Well, wait a minute, he thought, hitting his forehead with his palm. Of course, that was it! That had to be it!
Stanley jumped up from his seat, nearly knocking it over. “I have to tell the doctor there’s been a mistake, I have to—”
“Darling,” Marie whispered, clutching his wrist. “There’s no mistake. I have cancer.”
“But—no! How could you? How can that even—” Stanley’s voice trailed off as his eyes darted to the strange baby cooing in the corner.
“Stan… all of the negative pregnancy tests, the weight I’ve been losing without even trying. And I haven’t even told you about the bleeding, the pain in my abdomen. I blamed it on my diet, my exercise routine, my period, cramps. But the signs have all been there. I’ve just been deluding myself… And you, as well. I’m so sorry for that.”
Stanley’s eyes were wild; he hadn’t yet registered what his wife had been saying. “The baby – that baby did this,” he whispered, his throat suddenly feeling as parched as sand. “You saw what I saw this morning, Marie. That’s why her family gave her up! She made you sick!” Stanley’s chest was heaving up and down. Hot tears streaked across his face and gathered in his whiskers.
Marie rose from her chair, gently placing her hands on Stanley’s chest. “The baby showed me what was yet to come, my love. She showed me my future. And in doing so, she gave me a tremendous gift.”
Stanley’s wild eyes bore into hers, his tears blurring the edges of her soft, lovely face. He raked his hands through his hair, letting out a small sob. “A gift? How could any of this possibly be a gift?”
Marie reached up to brush away a tear dangling from the tip of Stanley’s nose. “Lilah showed me a future where I was fighting. A future where I clearly had opted for surgeries and chemotherapy and radiation. A future of pain and sickness and suffering. Stan, look at me,” she said, cupping his face in her hands. “We both know I’m the second most stubborn person on this planet.”
Stanley scoffed at the floor but didn’t argue.
“If Lilah hadn’t shown me what was to come, it might have been months before I went to see a doctor. By then, things would have been even worse, and I still would have done everything possible to cling to life, believing that that was the right choice, the only choice. But now I know – I’ve seen – that it’s not. Lilah’s gift to me was foresight. And with that foresight, I choose to surrender with dignity rather than fight, kicking and screaming, towards death.”
Stanley gripped his wife’s shoulders with shaking hands. “I can’t live without you, Marie. I just can’t. Please—” Another sob threatened to escape from his lips, but Stanley choked it back. He took a deep breath, doing everything he could to keep his composure. “Please, baby, stay and fight. I’ll fight with you, every minute of every day. We can beat this thing together, I know it.”
Marie wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest. Her mind was made up, but she didn’t need to harm him further with the truth. So, she squeezed him as tightly as she could, taking comfort in his burly arms and soot-stained shirt. For a moment, she let herself be consoled by her husband’s words, and in that moment, she truly did believe that everything would be just as he said.
The baby’s soft whimpers brought her back to reality. Gently pulling away from Stanley, she approached Lilah’s crib. Jade-and-honey-colored eyes stared back up at her, crinkled by a wide, toothless smile. Marie felt a stab of regret; she finally had the family she’d always wanted, and now, by some cruel twist of fate, she would be forced to leave them soon. Too soon.
“Time is precious,” Marie murmured, gently running a finger across the baby’s belly. “Isn’t it, little one?”