We stayed at a guest house near the station. In separate rooms, of course. I went with her to K— several times and we always stayed in the same lodgings. We also spent almost every night in the same way, with the two of us transcribing interviews. The people who ran the place apparently thought that we were budding folklorist researchers.
Yes, transcribing those tapes was painstaking work indeed. An hour or two can go by in no time during an interview. But when it comes to listening to tapes of those conversations over and over again in order to get them down in writing, however, it’s extremely demanding work. We interviewed several people a day, hence the stack of tapes kept growing. We had to make at least a rough start on transcribing each conversation every day, or it only became harder when going back to find the necessary places the next time. It was intensive labour, similar to cramming for exams with a study partner. Yes, come to think of it, that’s exactly what it was like – I was always reminded of the days I spent going back and forth to Tokyo to take my university entrance exams. I used to come up to the capital and study with one eye on the clock right up until it was time for an examination to start.
Saiga was always very economical with words. I don’t recall her ever chattering unnecessarily. When the day’s work was done, we would open a can of beer, talk a little to unwind, and then go to bed. That’s how it always was.
III
Yes, I may as well confess. I did have feelings for her at the time.
It wasn’t a romantic attachment exactly. I simply wondered what she thought about, what kind of person she was, and I wanted to get to know her better.
She wasn’t a particular beauty, but she did have a distinctive quality about her – she was a person one noticed. I’m reasonably sure other men were very aware of her.
Female friends? Well now, she hardly had any as far as I knew. I suppose, from a woman’s point of view, her demeanour was off-putting. She had a tendency to be dismissive of other girls, and whenever she had a request or needed to do something in a group, it was always the male students she approached first. She found men more efficient and straightforward to deal with. I remember her saying something to that effect.
However, I didn’t have the impression that she simply fancied men. She wasn’t the type to get annoyed if she thought they weren’t paying enough attention to her.
Nor was she one of those lively, active girls who have had male friends since childhood. The kind who say other girls are boring and wishy-washy and that boys are simpler and easier to get along with. Deep down, that type of girl is actually a lot more “girly” than other girls.
That wasn’t Saiga, either. She was very dry. That’s why the other girls didn’t think of her as someone who preferred men. If anything, she was regarded as a masculine sort, someone whose values were slightly different.
My impressions of her? She didn’t trust anybody.
Yes, and she seemed to have no patience for all the intricate exchanges and games that went on between girls. She disliked that groupthink consciousness, of everybody having to do everything together all the time. From my observations of her, I formed the impression that she trusted nobody, and that when it came to the formalities of social interactions she would always choose men over women as her partner in any activity. If she ever asked something of you, it was never as a favour. It was give and take with her, she always made sure things were square.
Maybe that’s why I was useful to her. I was someone she could be comfortable with, but I was also a safe choice because she knew it wouldn’t go any further.
When we were transcribing the interviews, I used to wonder about the fellow she was going out with, what he was like and why she hadn’t asked him to help. It might have been a simple reason, like the timing wasn’t good for him, but she also might have wanted to keep her private life separate. From the beginning I could never picture what she was like in private. She never, ever let her guard down – to anyone.
When the two of us were alone together, she was no different from usual.
I didn’t tell anyone I was assisting her, and I don’t think she let it be known either. She wasn’t the sort to open up about her activities to others, and since she was in her final year, she wasn’t involved in the club any more. None of the acquaintances we had in common noticed the coincidence of us both being away from Tokyo at the same times.
When her thesis was made into a book, she asked if she could credit me as a collaborator, but I refused. For some reason, I didn’t want anyone to know that I had helped her. I wanted that experience to stay a fond memory for myself alone. That was sufficient for me. In the end, however, my initials were amongst the acknowledgements, but nobody appeared to put two and two together.
IV
I only discovered after we began interviewing people that Saiga was connected with the case and had been at the scene on the day. She gave nothing away; I found out only in passing during the course of an interview. Imagine how astonished I was. It was all I could do to contain my surprise and maintain composure.
I’d read in a newspaper article about the neighbourhood children who had been at the scene but hadn’t imbibed the poisoned drink. Never in my wildest dreams, however, had it occurred to me that she had been one of them! I’d assumed she was from Tokyo, and had no inkling she’d lived here as a child. In her student days her home was definitely in Tokyo.
Actually, until then I’d had my secret doubts about how effective the interviews would be. What would people think when a pair of students from Tokyo turned up and, apropos of nothing, started asking for their thoughts on a mass murder that had happened a long time ago. How would they respond? But when Saiga started speaking people opened up to her. Her surname jogged memories, and generally they remembered her. I was taken by surprise the first time it happened and asked her if she had prior acquaintance with that person. Then, to my astonishment, she informed me she’d been at the crime scene. The scales fell from my eyes. What I had anticipated to be a bit of casual work over the summer suddenly, and unexpectedly, became very direct and real. It cast her in a different light and caused me to reassess the situation. Up until then I’d considered her to be very cool and collected, so it was startling that she would decide to investigate a crime she had been connected with as a child. The thought crossed my mind that maybe this had been a defining period for her. Maybe it had shaped her personality. Maybe she had been dragging it around all her life.
It’s not far from here, is it, the house where it happened?
Yes, it was the road along the river, I believe.
I went with her, just once, to the house. Yes, only the once. But I think she went there on her own a number of times.
It was a historic old stone house, with round stained-glass windows at the front. By then it was rather decrepit and had an air of having been forgotten by the world. To be frank, it was completely run-down. In spite of any preconceptions I had because of the murders, it didn’t make a particularly ominous impression on me.
A crepe myrtle tree? Next to the front entrance?
Well, I can’t really say. I don’t recall it.
White flowers? I don’t have any recollection as such. I saw the house in August, but don’t remember a flowering tree. I might have simply forgotten, however.
I accompanied her to almost all the interviews.