As April bends lower to apply a little extra pink lipstick, a denim-clad Gary Barlow looks back at me moodily, unmoving from the far wall.
'Oh no!' April picks up a section of straight hair and stares at it crestfallen. 'Quick, Hannah. Hand me the crimpers!'
I understand her hurry, so I go above and beyond and plug them in for her, resting them on the dressing table next to her collection of cute perfume bottles.
'Cheers, you're a lifesaver,' April says, still not taking her eyes from her reflection as she starts work on the section of wayward straight hair.
The sound of the doorbell causes just as much of a stir of butterflies in my stomach as I'm sure must be in hers and I stand up, waiting for her instruction.
'Well, go and answer it, Hannah! Tell him I'll just be a few minutes.'
Not needing to be told twice, I rush out of April's bedroom and across the landing, before bombing down the stairs two at a time.
A quick glance at my own reflection only makes my heart sink as I see that the small smearing of pink lipstick cadged from April hasn't done much to alter my dumpy appearance. Now I wish I hadn't bothered at all; I look like a little kid that has indulged in a game of makeover and not even played it well.
I answer the door, cheeks flushing when I see April's boyfriend, Will. He turns to face me, hands casually in pockets as though he made no effort at all to be here, as unaffected as if the wind simply blew him onto our front doorstep.
He looks even more gorgeous than ever. His thick, dark hair is slicked back with wet-look gel, putting more emphasis upon the delicate tan of his face. His white shirt looks overly bright in contrast to the black jeans and leather jacket which makes him look effortlessly cool.
April is so lucky to be going out with him. He is eighteen already and will leave college at the end of the month. April hasn't even left school yet.
Will is missing out Uni altogether – April told me he is going to get a job up in Manchester. He has asked her to go and live with him when he gets his own flat. I'm secretly hoping that neither of those things will happen, but would never admit it to April.
'Hi, Hannah.'
'Oh, hi,' I say, annoyed at how breathless I sound and how hot my cheeks become. I hardly even recognise my voice at all when I speak to Will.
He looks curiously down the hallway behind me. 'Is April ready?'
'She's just –'
A sudden burst of footsteps on the top of the stairs answers his question as April sweeps down towards us and straight out the door. Hair immaculate, she leaves a strong trail of our mother's most expensive perfume in her wake.
'Ready to go, Will?'
The pair exchange a brief kiss on the lips and I try and fail, not to look.
'Yeah, Babe. I just wanted to give Hannah this.'
Will suddenly has a small, clumsily-wrapped package in his hands.
'For me?' I ask, surprised, reaching out a moist palm tentatively.
'You got her a present?' April scrunches up her face. 'You didn't have to do that, you know, Will.'
Feeling awkward, like I have never opened a gift before, my clumsy fingers tear at the colourful paper that looks like it was leftover from a birthday. Inside, my fingertips connect with smooth hard plastic. As the remaining paper falls away, I see a small troll doll with a sweep of gravity-defying fuzzy green hair.
'April told me you collect them.'
'Yeah, I do. It's great – I haven't got this colour yet. Thanks, Will.'
April puts on a mocking, babyish voice. 'Awww, there you go, Hannah. You can put them in your room with the rest of your little toys.'
More warmth blooms into my cheeks.
April steps out onto the doorstep and calls a hurried goodbye to our mother in the kitchen. I know she won't dare let Mum see that she is dressed in the very skirt she was banned from wearing outside the house.
April gives me a wink and disappears off, hand-in-hand with Will who gives me a smile too.
I watch the pair go off, Will now with his hand around April's small waist, until they disappear behind the hedge that lines our lane.
I shut the front door and look back down at Will's gift. Aside from being taken completely by surprise, I had momentarily felt delighted that he had thought to get me a present. Although, as I put the doll on the shelf in my bedroom with my other toys, I cringe with embarrassment at the thought of him thinking of me as a little girl.
April told him I collected them. What else has she told him? I look around my bedroom and spot the plush dog standing guard on my pillow.
My stomach clenches with embarrassment. Has my sister told her boyfriend that I sleep with a stuffed toy at the age of eleven?
Probably.
I move him onto the bedside cabinet and stand back to check if it is more subtle. Now it is all I see in the room. I grab him by an ear and stuff him into the back of my cupboard behind some books that I haven't read for years.
I could really do with having a clear-out. I can't let Will think I am just a little kid; his girlfriend's little sister who can be easily pleased with simple children's toys.
I need to be sophisticated and pretty. Just like April.
6
Warmth envelops me. I believe for a few sweet moments that if I open my eyes, I will see April sleeping next to me; see her fine features relaxed and blissful in slumber. Her soft hair fanned out on the pillow. Even before I am properly awake, the vague details of the room press in on me.
The bed is still facing the same way as it always has done, the dressing table by the wall at the end. Even with my eyes closed, I can tell the curtains are still drawn in an attempt to block out the bright summer daylight, but the room is oddly silent. No sound of April's slow, steady breathing to assure me back into dreaming myself.
Reality drags my eyes open and for a moment I don't properly recognise the room. The image in my mind doesn't slide perfectly into place with what I see around me. The colours are different and there is now a window seat with plump cushions for guests to observe what they probably think is the perfect square of green countryside beyond.
I get out of bed and pull back the curtains. At once the room seems to be injected with life, as though a sleepy eyelid has been opened and a new day should be enjoyed. But I can't feel it. Not today. I wonder when it won't be too soon to appreciate small pleasures without feeling the guilt that April will never enjoy anything ever again.
Far away in the distance, the glorious light shines down on the Wrekin and it sits green and bold, its peak reaching into the brilliant blue sky.
Closer by in a golden field, a tiny square of a tractor chugs along silently. Only the tourists staying at this guest house can appreciate this view. Locals know all too well what happened in those woods in the middle distance. Some more than others. April knew, just like she knew everything going on behind the scenes in the seemingly sleepy village. And now she's gone.
Every time I closed my eyes last night I kept seeing the look the old lady gave Will and myself yesterday. When she found out we were married. Does everyone in the village think the same way? Or was it just a shock to Mrs Hughes because she had only just found out the news on such a day?
I could tell what she was thinking; I saw the thought flash across her eyes before she could guard it. She was judging me, as though I was somehow at least partly responsible for what happened to April. Perhaps she thought that stealing my sister's boyfriend was what pushed April over the edge. But it wasn't like that at all. April split up with Will years before I met him again. And even then it was just a coincidence.