I laughed. “I can’t help myself. That’s why you have to meet her. Just wait until you do. You’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
SEVEN
HANNAH BAUER
The following day, Christopher led me down Janie’s hallway for the first time. I didn’t know what to expect after all the stories he had shared with me. He’d told me in one of our previous conversations that she decided whether she liked you the first time you met, and apparently, it was impossible to recategorize yourself afterward no matter how hard you tried. What would I do if she didn’t like me?
I heard her screaming from the nurses’ station. Primal screams unlike anything I’d heard before. There weren’t any words to accompany them. Only tortured sounds. I stopped in my tracks. “Maybe this is a bad time?” I looked toward Christopher, expecting him to agree with me and say we needed to come back another day, but he was already pushing through the officers outside her door and running into her room. I handed my badge to the officer, and he pulled my name up on her visitor log.
“You might not want to go in there,” he said as he handed it back to me.
I swallowed the fear in the back of my throat and stepped inside. Janie writhed on the bed like she was in the throes of demon possession, her eyes wild. She wailed like a wounded animal. Her bedding lay crumpled on the floor. Blood spotted the mattress. Two nurses scuttled around her bed, trying to grab her without hurting her. One of them held a syringe. Christopher lurched into action.
“Janie. Janie, honey,” he said tenderly as he took cautious steps toward her bed. “It’s Dr. Chris. I’m here. Honey, you need to settle down.”
She continued screaming incoherently. He tried to reach for her, but she was too quick. She dodged his grasp and tumbled onto the floor, her cast making a loud crash when she hit the floor. Christopher knelt beside her.
“Janie, it’s Dr. Chris, and I’m here to help you,” he said softly.
She just kept screaming.
“Janie!” This time he yelled. “It’s Dr. Chris!”
It was as if a light switch went off inside her. She stopped midfit, blinked, and turned to look at him. “Dr. Chris!” A relieved smile spread across her face.
He crawled over to her and scooped her into his arms. She curled her head against his chest. He rocked her back and forth as she relaxed into him. “It’s okay. You’re okay now. I’ve got you, honey, I’ve got you.”
I stood watching, stunned. A second ago she’d been in the midst of a psychotic episode similar to the ones I’d seen schizophrenic patients throw when they were dragged in from the streets. There was nothing that could calm them down except drugs, but just the sound of Christopher’s voice had stopped Janie. I didn’t know what to think. I looked at one of the nurses, the one wearing SpongeBob SquarePants scrubs. She smiled at me and shrugged her shoulders.
The blood on Janie’s mattress was from where she’d ripped out her IV, and Christopher held her close while they put it back in place. She clung to him like he was her favorite teddy bear, and he whispered to her as they stuck her with the needle. She didn’t even flinch. Christopher wiped her tears away with the back of his hand after they’d finished.
“I’m proud of you, sweetie. That wasn’t so bad, now, was it?” he asked.
She shook her head, eyes watery and red rimmed. He carried her over to me while the nurses remade her bed. I hadn’t moved from my spot in the doorway. She was so small. It looked like he was holding an oversize doll.
“Janie, I have someone I want you to meet,” he said. He motioned for me to come closer. “This is my wife, Hannah. She’s a nurse here too. She’s been waiting to meet you.”
She kept her face buried in his chest.
I stepped toward them. “Hi, Janie. It’s nice to meet you,” I said. I placed my hand on her back. She flinched. I took a step back.
“Would you like Hannah to come back at another time?” he asked.
She grabbed his head and pulled it down to her mouth, cupping her hand around his ear so she could whisper into it. He nodded at whatever she was saying and then turned to me. “Why don’t we try this another time? I don’t think she’s ready.”
Christopher felt awful about how my introduction with Janie had gone, but it wasn’t his fault we’d come after one of her feeding times. It didn’t help that it was with one of her least favorite nurses. I was determined to make our second visit better than our first. I spent hours at the bookstore thumbing through the latest children’s books. There were so many to choose from, and I had no idea what Janie liked. Was she into princesses? Animals? Fire engines? Did she even have any clue what those things were? Had she ever been outside the trailer and exposed to life? I settled on a wide assortment of books ranging from Dr. Seuss to Fancy Nancy.
Christopher wanted me to meet with her by myself, but I asked him to come with me again so she’d be comfortable and relaxed. I didn’t want to push myself on her and overwhelm her any more than she already was. This time, Christopher scheduled our visit after one of her physical therapy sessions, since she tended to be in a good mood after them.
She was sitting on her bed chattering away with one of her nurses when we walked in. Her face lit up when she saw Christopher. The transformation that had taken place in the month since she’d been admitted to the hospital was astounding. She looked like a different child than the one he’d described to me. She was still very small for her age and looked much younger than six, but her stomach no longer distended from her body. She’d gained seven pounds, and her body had filled out. Her eyes were a light blue, so pale you could almost see through them. She’d grown into a sweet, cherub-faced little girl with a head full of wispy blonde curls.
“Hiya, Dr. Chris!” She waved at him. Her hand still curled despite all the work in physical therapy.
“Hey, sweetie,” he said, walking over and planting a kiss on top of her head.
“Sit! Sit! Sit!” she ordered, pointing to a spot next to her on the bed.
He motioned for me to come over. “Janie, do you remember when Hannah came to visit the other day? She came with me again today.”
“Hi, Janie,” I said.
She stared at me blankly—no sign of recognition.
I stepped toward her cautiously, holding the books out in front of me like a peace offering. “I brought some books. Do you want to read a book with me?”
She looked at Christopher, searching for his approval.
“Why don’t we read together?” he asked.
This time, she nodded. Christopher pointed to the spot next to him on the bed, and I sat, the plastic mattress crunching underneath my weight. Janie scampered up on his lap. I fanned three books out in front of her. “Which one do you want to read?” I asked.
She studied them carefully before pointing to The Day the Crayons Came Home.
“Good choice,” I said. “This is one of my favorites.”
I opened it and started reading. She was hooked from the first page. She strained to get a better look from her spot on Christopher’s lap. He slowly edged her in my direction until she was wedged between us, sitting on one of each of our legs. Christopher looked over at me and beamed. My heart swelled.