“But you weren’t free. It’s difficult keeping a secret as valuable and intriguing as your father was trying to do. Just the fact that you, a child, were present at certain crucial meetings was unusual. There had to be leaks. Camano knew about you and wanted to take over the action.” He paused. “Or to get rid of you before you could read some of his own memories that might prove fatal for him.”
“No!” she said sharply. “That wouldn’t happen. I’m never going to do that again.”
“But you can’t help yourself, can you? You wouldn’t do it intentionally, but if you leave yourself open, don’t the memories come flooding?”
Her eyes widened in shock. “How do you know that?”
“Don’t they?”
Panic was suddenly racing through her. Why was she even talking to him? Why had the answers to his questions tumbled out helter-skelter? Perhaps because he had already seemed to know so much already. But those facts could have been learned by diligent research.
But not the way the memories worked. That was what was scaring her to death. There wasn’t any way he could know how that worked. No one could know how people’s memories flowed gently to her at times and at others came and went like wind and thunder. Or how impossible it was to stop them when they wanted to be heard.
“I’ve frightened you.” His gaze was searching her face. “You’re such a tough kid, I keep forgetting that I’m supposed to deal gently with you. It’s not my modus operandi.”
“You didn’t frighten me.” Then she said hoarsely, “Yes, you did. You know too much. Things you shouldn’t know. But it’s nothing I can’t get over. I just have to find out if it’s going to hurt me.”
“It might. But not right away. You’ll have a chance to recover and develop good defenses. That’s all I can promise you.”
“Are you being honest with me?”
He smiled faintly. “Yes. Can’t you tell? Why don’t you see what kind of horrendous memories I’m storing away? It might help.”
“I told you that I won’t do that again. It’s not what—” But she could feel the familiar darkness of the tunnel pulling her, his memories flowing toward her, overwhelming her.
And she could feel herself reaching out, searching …
Nothing.
Blank.
Reflecting like a mirrored golden wall.
She was stunned.
“You’ve never run across a block?”
“You can do that?”
“Yes, and so can you if you let me help you. Accept it. Isn’t it really a relief not to be able to read me?”
Relief? It was weird and terrifying. There was nothing comforting about this blankness. It was like looking at the edge of a machete that could turn and cut in a heartbeat. “Who are you? You said you weren’t the police.”
“And I’m not. That doesn’t mean that I can’t offer you a certain amount of protection.” He opened a bottle of water and handed it to her. “And that I may eventually be able to give you a gift that you’ll find priceless.”
“What gift?” she asked warily.
“You have a talent that’s wild and erratic. I can teach you to block and control. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” he asked softly. “I can give that to you, Teresa.”
“I don’t want to control it. I want to get rid of it.”
He shook his head. “That’s not one of the options.”
“Then just let me go, and I’ll work it out for myself.” She took a drink of water, then asked, “Why can’t I read your memories?”
“Control and blocking. Which makes me stronger than you. You’ve been surrounded by people who have made you a victim. Aren’t you tempted to make sure it doesn’t happen again?”
“All I want is to get away from here and stay alive.”
“That’s part of the package.”
“It is?” She was trying to think, trying to work it out. “You know what’s happening in my head. Or at least some of it. Is it because you’re a freak like me?”
“You’re not a freak. You’re very special.” He shook his head. “People call me special, too, but I don’t possess your gift. You’re not unique, but your ability is very rare. I don’t share it.”
“Be grateful,” she said bitterly.
“Oh, I am. I have enough on my plate without that. But it’s not as if I couldn’t deal with it. It’s a tricky path, and you’ve just been dealing with the wrong guides.” He smiled. “For instance, I’m a guide without equal.”
“You think well of yourself.”
He nodded. “Confidence is a valuable weapon.”
“But even if you aren’t like me, that doesn’t mean you’re not a freak. Special is only a pretty word for it. People use you, and when they’re through with you, they push you away because you’re different.”
“Then you learn to wear a mask and push back when it becomes necessary.”
“Like you pushed back tonight? You killed those men.”
“It was necessary. If they’d caught you, they would probably have killed you. Wouldn’t you have fought back?” He stared her in the eye. “Didn’t you intend to kill if you had to do it?”
“That’s different.”
He chuckled. “It’s always different in the first person.”
“But you had no reason to do it. You had no quarrel with them. You could have walked away.”
“No, I couldn’t have walked away.” He paused. “And I had a very good reason.”
“What?”
“I had to pay in advance for services rendered.”
“What services?”
“Future services.”
“What future—” She stopped as he shook his head. “Services. That means you want to use me, too.”
“I won’t deny it,” he said quietly. “But you’ll find I always pay for what I want. But you’re not ready for me to offer you a deal yet. We’ll discuss it later.”
He was being annoyingly deceptive. She changed the subject. “How do you know what goes on in my head? Are you some kind of slimy egotist like Dr. Kramer?”
He shook his head again.
“Stop doing that.” She wanted to hit him. She was brimming with frustration. “I want to know who you are and what you have to do with me.”
“I’m sure you do, but that’s not an option, either. You’ll find out in time, but you need that time. You’re only sixteen, Teresa.”
“You say you want to help me, but that’s not true, is it? You’re like everyone else. You said you wanted to use me.”
“Yes, I do.” He reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “In the end, we all use each other. I’ll take what I want from you. But I’m giving you a chance to grow and strengthen and fight me. I consider that very generous. Don’t you?”
She didn’t know what she thought. His hand was exquisitely gentle against her temple, and his light eyes were mesmerizing. She was tired and frightened and desperate, and she had to ignore the physical appeal of Mandak. It had nothing to do with who he really was. Her father had been sleek and handsome, too, but inside he was ugly or he’d never have had those chilling, callous memories. And she couldn’t know what memories Mandak was hiding, and that was scary in itself. “It’s all double-talk. How do you expect me to make sense of you?” She went on in a rush, “That doesn’t mean I’m going to let you fool me. What … How would you keep Camano away from me?”