“But not,” she had once said, “so beautiful or intelligent that I scare anyone off.”
“Are you implying that I scare people?” Lily had demanded.
“Oh, not in looks. You will never be a beauty,” Serena had replied with cheerful rudeness, and Lily, who knew she fell on the pretty side of average but no better, had not argued with her friend’s assessment. “Though as tall as you are, you do look terribly regal when you come over all cool and disapproving. But no, your brains are what make you terrifying. You are dreadfully bright and never bother hiding it. We shall have to find you someone political to marry.”
Lily’s newfound cheer faded as she remembered Serena’s almost prophetic words. Freddy had planned to become a member of Parliament, and Lily, always organized and methodical, had loved picturing the tidy path their lives would follow. Then he had fallen ill, and everything had changed.
“I cannot stay long,” Serena was saying when Lily recalled herself to the present. “I am thrilled to see you, but—”
“But you must get back to the boys?” Glad to be distracted from her grim thoughts, Lily set about pouring the tea. “Do you still take yours with only milk?”
“You never forget anything, do you?” Serena asked as she took the cup Lily held out to her. “And yes, the boys returned home today after three weeks with their grandmama in Hampshire. It was mercifully peaceful without them underfoot!”
“Yes, I am sure you did not miss them at all,” Lily said, knowing not to believe her friend’s glib words. Serena might affect fashionable boredom with motherhood in public, but there was nothing she treasured more. And since she had lost two children—one son stillborn, a daughter dead in infancy from a sudden fever—the two sons Serena had still living were the center of her world.
“Perhaps I missed them a little,” Serena admitted with a smile.
“Well, before you dash home to them, you must first tell me how you knew I was in town. I’ve not yet sent around cards.”
“Oh, I am quite devious. That little dresser of yours—Anna, was it? Such a nice girl—she is cousin to Jeremy, our second footman. She told him that you would arrive today, and he told my dresser, who told me.”
“How impressive. Shall I soon hear of you taking up a position in the constabulary?”
“Lord, it would almost be worth it for the fits it would give Lord Walter’s mother. The old bag kept the boys a week longer than expected. I was livid.”
“Though I imagine Lord Walter was delighted to have you to himself?”
Serena laughed, blushing prettily. Her husband was several years her senior and doted on his charming young wife. “And that reminds me of one of my reasons for calling.”
“More reason than just the joy of seeing me?” Lily teased. “Do tell.”
Serena pulled a card from her muff. “The first is to deliver this and extract your promise that you will attend in spite of the short notice.”
It was an invitation for a ball that very night. Lily stared at the elegant engraving, then shook her head. “I’ve not yet put off black gloves …”
“But you are out of full mourning. No one will disapprove, Lily, so long as you do not dance.” Serena looked pleadingly at her friend. “Do say you will come? You cannot miss my first ball of the season.”
Lily’s hands clenched in her lap. She and Freddy had met in the middle of a cotillion when she was nineteen. They had both been dancing with other partners, but Freddy spent the rest of the set staring at her. Always impossibly romantic, he later said that was the moment he had fallen in love with her.
But Freddy was gone now, and as empty as life felt at the moment, she still had to find something to do with it—even if, for now, that something was only a ball. “Very well, Lady Walter, you have my promise. I will even arrive unfashionably early, so you shan’t wonder if I have broken my word.”
“Nonsense. You shall dine with us, en famille, and see how the boys have grown. I think you will scarcely recognize them.”
“You are kind to offer—”
“It is pure self-preservation. Lord Walter’s horrid cousin Bernard is visiting. If I have to listen to him explain the art of tying a cravat again, I may end up in Newgate for murder.”
“Serena, you have often said that a well-tied cravat is the hallmark of a gentleman.”
“Yes, but Bernard’s is not well tied, so it is dreadful to hear him go on about it.” Serena’s quip made Lily smile, but at the same time she felt a familiar prickle in her eyes. It was such a normal moment, and there had been so few of those in the last two years that she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry. She tried to blink away the tears quickly, but Serena noticed, and her voice grew softer. “You came to London to get back to living your life. How can you do that if you stay cooped up and alone?”
“Yes, of course.” Lily took a brisk breath, trying to pull herself together. “You are kind to be so patient with my moodiness.”
“None of that.” Serena laid a hand on Lily’s arm. “We both know it is not moodiness. I’ve never known anyone so much in love as you and Freddy.”
“You and Lord Walter—” Lily began.
“Are very fond of each other and rub along well together,” Serena interrupted gently. “That is not the same thing. I know you miss him dreadfully, and you should. But I also know you, Lily, and you cannot shut yourself away forever.”
“I know.” Lily squeezed her friend’s hand. “I am glad you came to see me, Serena.”
“Of course you are. I’m delightful.”
At that, Lily couldn’t help smiling. “All right then, that was one. What is your other mysterious reason for stopping by?”
“We may have to wait …” Serena trailed off, her head cocked to the side. “Or perhaps not!” There were voices in the hall. “I think my surprise has just arrived.”
Carstairs opened the door and bowed. He still looked unruffled, but Lily could hear an edge of uncertainty as he said, “There is a Captain Hartley to see you, madam. He says her ladyship instructed him to come by. Shall I say you are not at home?”
“Oh!” Lily stood, flustered. “No, show him in.”
She barely had time to gather her thoughts before Captain John Hartley—Jack, she always thought of him, though of course she had never called him that herself—was bowing in the doorway. “Lady Walter.” His eyes settled on Lily. “Mrs. Adler.”
“Captain, what …” Lily turned to Serena and, not caring if it was rude, demanded, “You sly thing, however did you manage this?”
“I told you I am devious. Is it a nice surprise?”
“Yes.” Lily held out her hands. “It is so good to see you, Captain. Had I known you were in London, I’d have written.”
“It is good to see you as well, Mrs. Adler,” Captain Hartley said. He took her hands, hesitated a moment, then gave them a quick squeeze before letting go. “And no matter, as Lady Walter has arranged things most efficiently.” Serena laughed, delighted with the praise. “In any case, it would have been nearly impossible for a letter to reach me. I’ve only just returned to town.”