He went into the store and was shocked by the air-conditioning. The cold made him shiver now and then, even under his coat and sweater. He made his way to the meats and looked into the cold bins with rows of steaks and pork chops, whole chickens and slabs of bacon—all set on rectangular Styrofoam plates wrapped in clear plastic. The food distracted him. He cooked in his subterranean lair but only rice and beans, chicken necks and grits.
After a while Alyce, no, Frankie, yes, Frankie, wandered into the aisle. One, two . . . She wore tight-fitting, faded blue jeans and a linen shirt. There was a necklace of blue stones around her neck. Her hair was tied back, and she was so beautiful . . .
. . . eleven, twelve.
Albert moved on, looking for the fruits and vegetables.
Store employees followed him openly. There was a guard in a uniform not three steps away.
Albert wasn’t worried. He was no thief. His mother hated thieves. At one time his sister wanted to be a cop. Looking at a bin filled with huge pomegranates, Albert wondered whether Luellen still had the same phone number. They hadn’t been in touch in nineteen years, maybe twenty.
“Excuse me,” the copper-skinned guard, wearing a blue and gray uniform, said.
At just that moment Alyce, no, Frankie, came into the far end of the aisle.
One, two, three . . .
“Excuse me,” the guard insisted.
“Yes?” . . . four, five . . .
“Can I help you?”
“No, no, I’m just looking.” . . . seven, eight . . .
“If you’re not going to buy anything, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
The guard was young and pudgy, with a silly, drooping mustache. His eyes were both insecure and resentful.
When Albert got to twelve he turned and walked away.
The guard followed him.
“Excuse me.”
Albert passed the pasta aisle and one with cookies and cakes. Finally there was a row with coffee and teas, chocolates, and wildflower-flavored honeys.
Albert stopped in front of a row of golden jars and stared.
“Excuse me,” the guard said.
There were store employees standing at the far end of the aisle.
“Yes?” Albert asked, grateful not to be distracted by having to count.
“I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
“But I haven’t finished looking.”
“You have to buy something.”
Albert reached into his pocket and took out a five-dollar bill. He showed this to the guard.
“See?” Albert said loudly. “I have money to buy with.”
Looking at the guard, he noticed that customers had stopped to watch the argument.
The guard slapped Albert’s hand.
“I don’t want to see that,” the man with the drooping mustache said.
“I got a right just like anybody else to be here, to shop here,” Albert said, loud enough that the spectators could hear.
More people were coming into the sweets aisle. Albert glanced around to make sure that Alyce wasn’t one of them. No, no—Frankie.
The guard grabbed Albert’s left biceps, but when Albert flexed his muscle he let go.
“I’m just lookin’ for a candy bar, man. Why you wanna kick me outta here?”
“Chico,” a man in a dark blue suit said.
Albert was looking around for Frankie, yes, Frankie, but she was nowhere to be seen. Had he made her up?
“Yes, Mr. Greenwood?” the security guard said.
“What’s going on here?”
“Um,” Chico the guard said.
“I come in here wanting to buy me a piece a’ fancy candy,” Albert averred, brandishing his five-dollar bill. “First I looked at the meats and vegetables just to see what you got, and then this man here said that I’m not welcome to shop in your store. I got my money right here in my hand.”
Mr. Greenwood was about Albert’s age. He was pale-skinned and had amber eyes behind metal-rimmed glasses. He’d made something of himself, that’s what Albert thought. He was a man who ran a grocery store, while Albert was just a guy who lived in a hole.
“Excuse me, sir,” Greenwood said, forcing a smile. “You are certainly welcome to shop here, just like anybody else.”
There were people all around them, but Alyce—no, Frankie—was nowhere to be seen. Albert was becoming light-headed.
“Would you accept a gift of one of our boxes of chocolates?” Greenwood was asking.
“No,” Albert said. “I don’t want anything from this store if you won’t even let me walk around and look. I mean, that’s what people do in the store, right? They shop and look and buy if they see somethin’ they like. No, I don’t want your candy now.”
When Albert saw Frankie waiting at his shopping cart, he was overjoyed. He thought that maybe he had actually seen her on that corner but imagined their conversation. Maybe his make-believe had brought him to the store, thinking that she was following him, and he was perpetually moving away.
“You were just perfect, Al,” she said, beaming.
She pulled his shoulders and kissed his cheek.
“Let’s go to my house,” she said. “And I’ll make you a Stillman’s steak.”
There was an office building on Broome Street that had changed hands and was under reconstruction.
“The man who owns it is being indicted for fraud or something,” Frankie told Albert. “The trial’ll take years. A guy named Childress gets the keys from the construction boss and makes a few spaces available for apartments. I got the one on the sixth floor, and I only pay three hundred a month.”
The halls were dusty and dark, but the makeshift apartment was bright and airy, with good furniture, electricity, and a camping stove in the office-supply room that she used as a kitchen. There was even a bathroom with running water at the end of the hall.
“You’re not all that dirty,” Frankie said, “but you could still wash up while I make us dinner. There’s some clothes in a box in the hall that might fit you.”
The bathroom had a fiberglass businessman’s shower installed in the corner. Albert felt vulnerable being naked in that illegal space, washing with cold water. But he was excited too. Frankie was almost Alyce in his eyes, and for the first time in decades the mantra of love-lost had stopped nagging at him.
With a smile on his face he plunged under the ice-cold spray and experienced exhilaration that spanned his entire life. His father might have been dead by now. Luellen never became a cop. The moon was rounding the curve of the Earth, soon to be aloft in the New York sky. Albert was standing naked in that hidden space, and there was a woman down the hall who wanted to have a meal with him.