Nori thought to herself that this conversation was very odd. A thousand questions burned her tongue. She swallowed them back.
“Yes, Okaasan. Yakusoku shimasu. I promise.”
Her mother let out a ragged sigh, caught somewhere between relief and despair.
“Now listen. You will go inside the gate, Nori. Your grandparents will ask you your name. What will you tell them?”
“Noriko, Okaasan. Noriko Kamiza.”
“Yes. And they will ask you how old you are. And what will you tell them?”
“I’m eight, Okaasan.”
“They will ask where I have gone. And you will tell them that I did not tell you. That you don’t know. Do you understand?”
Nori felt her mouth begin to go dry. Her heart fluttered against her chest, like a little bird trying to escape a cage. “Okaasan, where are you going? Aren’t you coming with me?”
Her mother did not reply. She stood up, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a thick yellow envelope.
“Take this,” she urged, pressing it into Nori’s sweaty palm. “Give it to them when they ask questions.”
Nori’s voice began to scale up in panic. “Okaasan, where are you going?”
Her mother looked away.
“Nori, hush. Do not cry. Stop crying this instant!”
She felt the tears that had begun to well recede inside her eye sockets with frightening speed. It seemed that they too were bound to obey.
“Noriko,” her mother continued, tone softening to a whisper. “You are a good girl. Do as you are told and everything will be fine. Don’t cry now. You have no reason to cry.”
“Yes, Okaasan.”
Her mother hesitated, searching for words for several long moments. Finally, she decided there were none and settled for patting her daughter twice on the top of the head.
“I’ll watch you go. Go on. Get your things.”
Noriko picked up her belongings and proceeded slowly towards the gate. It towered over her. Her steps grew smaller and smaller as she approached it.
Every few steps she’d peer over her shoulder to make sure that her mother was still watching. She was. Noriko swallowed.
When she finally reached the gate, she paused, unsure of how to proceed. It was open, and yet she was quite sure that she should not be entering. She waited for her mother to instruct her, but the woman remained on the sidewalk, watching in silence.
Step by step, Nori inched up the walkway. When she was halfway up, she paused, unable to continue any farther. She turned in desperation to her mother, who by now had made her way back to the car.
“Okaasan!” Nori whimpered, her previous calm leaving her in one terrifying moment. She wanted to run back to her mother, but something kept her pinned to the spot.
That something held her there, relentless and pitiless in the strength of its grasp. It did not let her move, nor breathe, nor cry out as she watched her mother give her one last, strangely bright gaze before getting back into the car and shutting the door behind her. She could not so much as blink as she watched the car speed down the street, around the corner, and out of sight.
Nori was not quite sure how long she stood transfixed. The sun was high in the sky when she finally resumed her slow march up the walkway through the courtyard. Still in a trance, she raised her tiny hand to knock lightly on the gates that obscured the house, leaving only its upper floors and looming roof visible. No one answered. She pushed, half hoping they would not open. They didn’t, and they were far too heavy for her to make another attempt.
She sat. And she waited. For what, exactly, she was unsure.
A few moments later, the gates opened, moved by an invisible force. Two large men in suits emerged, peering down at her with disdain.
“Go away, little girl,” the first one said. “No beggars.”
“I’m not a beggar,” Nori protested, finding her feet. “I’m Noriko.”
They both stared at her blankly. Nori extended the envelope her mother had given her with a trembling hand.
“Kamiza Noriko desu.”
The two exchanged an indecipherable glance. Then, without another word, they disappeared back behind the gate.
Nori waited. Her head was spinning, but she forced herself to remain standing.
After another long moment, the first of the men returned.
He crooked his finger at her. “Come on.”
He snatched up her belongings and marched ahead, leaving her to rush after him. The house was beautiful, more a palace than a house, but Nori’s attention quickly focused on the figure standing in front of it.
An elderly woman, with her mother’s eyes and streaks of silver in her neatly coiffed hair, stared down at her in utter disbelief.
Because there was nothing else to do, Nori did as she was told.
“Konbanwa, Obaasama. My name is Nori.”
PART I
CHAPTER ONE
WATER SONG
Kyoto, Japan
Summer 1950
It came quickly, the pain. It arrived with startling fanfare. Nothing could stop it once it had set on its morbid path.
The pain came quickly. It was the going that took longer.
Nori almost welcomed the onset of the pain, knowing that it was the best of what was to come. First there was the tingling, like a little feather tapping out a jig on her skin. Then there was the slow burn. One by one, every nerve in her body began to scream until they were screeching in unison, forming a chorus of protest. Then there were the tears. Nori had learned in her younger years not to fight the tears, as it only made them worse.
The fight would lead to her gasping for air, sucking it in through her nose in ragged spurts and feeling her rib cage squeeze tight. Snot would dribble from her nose and mingle with her tears, forming a sickening brew that too often dripped into her open mouth.
It was better to accept the tears, with as much grace and dignity as could be mustered. They would fall silently down her cheeks, constant and cool like a babbling brook.
There was some self-respect in that, at least.
“We’re done for today, Ojosama.”
Nori forced her stinging eyes to focus on the speaker: a maid in her early thirties, with a round, jolly face and a warm smile.
“Thank you, Akiko-san.”
The maid gently helped Nori rise from the porcelain bathtub, offering an arm for the ten-year-old to lean on as she stood.
The sharp gust of air on her naked body made her let out a little cry, and her knees buckled. Akiko stopped her from falling and, with strength that was surprising for her petite size, bodily lifted Nori from the tub and into a waiting chair.