I want to call after her, but I don’t.
She won’t listen anyway.
But I know I’ll succeed in this mission and come back. I have to. So much of her success is based on mine. And I love her more than anyone else in the cosmos. Even Hiro. Even myself. And I’m willing to do whatever I can, even hunt my former partner down, if only I can take care of Lucinia.
Because without me? No one else will.
CHAPTER 5
Those Sisters who grow too old and frail to continue the Goddess’s work among the stars still remain part of the Sisterhood. Becoming Cousins, those who perform physical labors, they rejoin the Order of their training and prepare a new generation of Sisters for service. But of those who break the laws given by the Agora, the seven Aunts who speak on behalf of their Orders? Those who communicate outside of the Sisterhood are stripped of rank and given to the Agora for punishment. The Canon makes it quite clear what that punishment will be.
Aunt Edith, Order of Cassiopeia
The call for all crew members to assemble in the docking bay comes far too early the next morning, especially since I was up late reading Captain Saito’s dossier. I splash water on my face in an attempt to freshen my appearance, but dark circles have already bloomed on the sensitive, pale skin beneath my eyes. There is little to do about the fact that I look exhausted.
But it was worth it, I reassure myself. I finished Captain Saito’s entire file and even memorized the most important details about her family and work history. Now I understand her at her most basic level, and I won’t have to rely on confession to know the sins of her past.
I exit my room, and soldiers brush against me as they pass, carried by the powerful current of a river. I follow after them, a small silver fish darting through the stream in my ashen dress. The few who notice me bid me a good morning and bow their heads to me, but most stomp ahead with thinly veiled concern on their faces, ignoring all in their path. It isn’t every morning that we are called to assembly, and everything about the packed hallway feels strange, from the quiet clapping of boots against the metal floor to the stiflingly hot air around us.
Perhaps Captain Saito wants to give one of her inspiring speeches in person, one that prepares us for whatever changes she promised will take place now that Arturo is gone. I hope that is all. But as the men walk side by side with me, their faces blanched of lively color, I wonder… and I worry.
“Good morning.” Ringer’s gruff voice rumbles from all six and a half feet of him. He shortens his steps to walk alongside me, shuffling lazily.
I flash him a smile and lean into his presence so that our arms brush each other as they sway at our sides. Ringer has always been a shield to me, and if I am to stay on the Juno by necessity, then I will continue to rely on him as a safe harbor in the storm of his fellow soldiers.
“I’m both sad and joyful to see you still among us, First Sister,” he says. “I know you cared for Captain Deluca.”
Did I, or was it simply a role I played so well that even Arturo believed it? I suppose he didn’t believe it wholly. He still left me behind.
“I’m selfishly glad for myself,” Ringer says. “You are faithful to us, and we could have no one better interceding with the Goddess on our behalf.”
My smile brightens without my forcing it; I am fond of Ringer and the way he believes the best of me. He sees me as I hope others do.
I wish I could ask Ringer what he thinks of Captain Saito, or draw the conversation toward this meeting. As a soldier, he would most likely know the reason for the assembly.
But as we come to the elevator, he halts and drops his voice to a whisper. “I’m going to stay at your side today.” I feel his hand hovering just above my lower back, not daring to touch me, but lingering in a protective gesture nonetheless. “I don’t want you to be afraid of what is to come.”
All the air leaves me in one breath. His words confirm my deepest worries.
I shuffle alongside the soldiers as we crowd into the elevator. My stomach churns when I see Third Sister through the closing doors. She stands alone. She catches my gaze, and in her expression I read a warning. For once, no rank separates us; fear turns the world into us against them.
What are we walking into?
It’s only as I ride the elevator down that I realize why the hallways feel so strange: the Juno isn’t moving.
When we reach our destination, I am smiling and pleasant, happy to be in attendance, just as I should be. A Sister, and nothing more. Only Ringer takes notice of me as we walk together into the docking bay.
The bay is not so different today than it was yesterday when I met Captain Saito, only now there is no jolly festivity in the air, no celebration. Everyone in the room has drawn in a single, bated breath, and holds on to it with dismay.
Captain Saito stands above the packed soldiers on a platform in the middle of the bay. Aunt Marshae lingers to the side, hands primly folded in front of her. Her expression reveals nothing.
To the left of the platform my fellow Sisters are clustered, a flock of gray birds in their fluttering dresses. I do not join them, but instead walk to the right side with Ringer. Since the Mother assigned me to the Juno as a reward, I have been an outsider; I do not fit in with those girls any more than they care for me. But what is most shocking is that when Third Sister arrives, she comes to stand with me.
A strange feeling emerges, a tightness in my stomach… I can’t fight the concern that something is off. That someone is missing.
I cast my eyes around the room, searching, trying to remember who or what I have forgotten, when I hear Captain Saito say, “That’s enough of them.”
People continue to enter the room, but a hush has fallen. Even whispers are snuffed out. All eyes turn toward Captain Saito, three golden stars blazing on her uniform, no trace of the young, slouching captain that I saw in her private quarters.
“Good morning,” Captain Saito says. She doesn’t use the intercom, but she doesn’t need to; her smoky voice carries. “I’m sure you know who I am by now.” Many soldiers salute without prompting. Already Captain Saito has developed a camaraderie among them with her preceding reputation and war stories. “For those few who have somehow missed my announcement, I am the new captain of the ACS Juno, Saito Ren. You will refer to me as Captain Saito. Is this clear?”
This time the salutes ripple around the room, hundreds of fists pressed to hearts. My hands shake at my sides. Ringer holds me steady.
“I hate that this is happening so early in my captaincy, but—well, even as a new captain, I cannot allow my limits to be tested.” Captain Saito’s tone is not as threatening as her words. Many stare at her in confusion, even as a cold sweat breaks out over my forehead. I feel I balance on the edge of a cliff. What is she about to do? Dismiss all of the Sisters? I eye Aunt Marshae, but she gives nothing away with her dour face.
“We have, unfortunately, discovered a spy on board.” Crew members gasp, actually gasp, like in my vid sims. Captain Saito draws her hands behind her back and straightens her spine as she speaks. She is young, but Mother help me, I cannot believe I ever thought she was an easy mark. Her black eyes sharpen into daggers ready to kill with a look.
“Some call me the Hero of Ceres,” she announces, speaking words that I read in her file, words I hoped to use against her. “I am the one who led the coup that resulted in the capture of the new Gean home, in the Icarii defeat. I lost my limbs to this fight.” She holds up her white prosthetic hand for all to see. “The left side of my body—gone. But do not think this makes me weak.” She clenches that hand into a fist. “I faced the demons of war. I emerged victorious. And I will not tolerate even a hint of treason on my ship.”