“A pelvic exam?”
“You’ll need to lie flat and do as I say. You need to put your feet in the stirrups and spread your legs so that I can check you.”
I glanced at the iron shoes on either side of me on the examination table, then looked again at the doctor. I had never had a pelvic exam. “Why do I need a pelvic exam? There’s nothing about a pelvic exam on that medical form.”
The doctor turned to me. “The form calls for a full examination and a full exam for a female means a pelvic examination.”
“Well, I don’t see why. I’ve never had to have one before.”
“It’s simple enough,” the doctor said as he pulled on the gloves. “They want to determine if you have any kind of medical problem in your uterus or if you’re pregnant.”
“Well, I’m certainly not pregnant!”
“Let’s get on with the exam, shall we?”
I looked again at the stirrups and fully realized the position I would be in to get my feet into them. I met the doctor’s eyes once more. “Can we get the nurse in here?”
“I told you there’s no need for a nurse. Now, if you want this form filled out, get into position. I’m sure you know the position.”
I was silent a moment, considering what he meant by that, then I said quietly, “I told you I’ve never had a pelvic exam.”
“Come now. A pelvic exam has nothing to do with knowing the position. All you colored girls know it, married or not.”
I got down from the table. I had never spread my legs for any man, and I certainly was not about to do so for the first time with a white man, doctor or not, not without a nurse present.
“What are you doing?” the doctor asked, looking startled.
“I don’t think I’ll take the exam,” I said.
“But you need it for the form.”
“I also need a nurse in here.”
He became indignant. “Why? I’m a doctor!”
“I said I want a nurse in here for the exam, so why can’t a nurse come in?”
“Because I said so.”
I had heard those words from white folks all my life. Even more than this man’s implications concerning my character, I hated those words from white people. They cut me to the core. “You need to understand something,” I said. “I’m not putting my feet into stirrups for you without a nurse being in here, so I guess this exam is over.”
He turned red. “You think I want something from you? You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.”
“I’d like to get dressed now.”
“Well, I won’t be signing off on this form.”
“Fine,” I said.
He glared at me, took his file, and left the room. He left the unsigned form on the table. I got dressed, folded the form, and put it back in my purse. I returned to the waiting room, paid the office clerk for the visit, and waited for Dee. “How’d it go?” Dee asked when she came out with the girls.
“Not as expected,” I said, hurrying from the office. I did not want to stay any longer in this place. “I won’t be getting the job.”
“What? How do you know?”
“I’ll tell you about it in the car. Let’s go.”
* * *
◆ ◆ ◆
Dee told me I could go to another doctor to fill out my form, but I figured them all to be the same. They all were white. By the time Moe arrived, I was in a foul mood. My friend Brenda from down the street and her boyfriend, Henry, were going to the movies with us and Dee had invited them to join us for dinner. I stayed quiet all through dinner. When Stacey asked about the visit to the doctor’s office and if I had gotten the form filled out, I said I would talk about it with him later. The whole thing was too embarrassing to talk about in front of everybody. Stacey just studied me without comment as Dee quickly changed the subject. When dinner was over, Moe, Henry, Brenda, and I headed downtown to the theater. We went in Moe’s car. Whenever Moe and I went out, if not with the family, it was usually with Brenda and Henry, for even though I was a grown woman, the tradition of double dating remained, and that was expected until I married. That was simply the way things were with many of the families from back home.
Moe, a mocha-chocolate young man, tall and skinny, parked his car a block from the theater, and with Brenda and Henry a few feet behind us and out of hearing, he asked quietly, “What’s wrong, Cassie? You’ve hardly had a word to say all evening.”
“Didn’t have anything I wanted to say.”
“That’s not like you.”
“It is today,” I said, and we walked the rest of the way in silence.
There was a line as we approached the ticket window located in a bubble-like structure in front of the theater. It was a long line and all who stood there were white. In Mississippi there was a separate entry for “colored,” but in Toledo white and colored stood in the same line to buy a ticket. “So, are you going to tell me what’s the matter or not?” Moe persisted as we waited.
“Just had a run-in about something.”
“What kind of something?”
“Don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” Moe let the matter drop. That was the way it was with Moe. He seldom pressed me about anything. Because of that, I usually told him just about everything, when I figured I was ready. Moe was aware of this and his easygoing nature allowed him to be patient with me. Moe bought the tickets and we entered the theater. At the concession counter, Brenda pulled me aside and told me she needed to go to the ladies’ room. I didn’t have to use the restroom, but I went with Brenda. The ladies’ room was in the lower lobby. Brenda and I descended a winding staircase covered in plush, red, velvet-like carpeting to the lower lobby, which was smaller than the lobby upstairs but had the same thick carpet and was furnished with large, comfortable sofas where people were lounging while awaiting the start of the movie. All those people lounging were white.
We crossed the lobby to the door marked “Ladies” and entered first into a small room with a sofa and chairs. A mirror covered one of the walls. A counter and chairs were in front of it. Women and teenage girls, all white, occupied the chairs as they combed blond or sandy-colored hair, primped their faces, and reddened their lips. Then we entered the next room, lined with toilet stalls. We were stopped by a Negro woman in a maid’s uniform. “There’s a stall at the end next to the wall you girls can use,” she said, “but you’ll have to wait. Somebody’s in there.”