I couldn’t reply to that because damn, but I let him know without words how much I felt the same. This wasn’t what I guess most people thought of as love, but it was . . . better. Stronger. Fiercer. And I wasn’t afraid of that now, or ashamed, or confused. I just was.
We were.
Then I felt Bea standing next to me, and I turned and said, “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“I thought you’d never say it, meu anjo,” she said, and I was blinded by the brilliance of her smile. Nadim’s translation whispered the meaning of her words to me. My angel.
I kissed her, and she kissed me back, and the soft sweetness of her lips was something I’d never known before. It felt like coming home and finding a new land, all at the same time. A flirt of tongues—she tasted like that cinnamon coffee she loved. A gentle shiver crept over me because I could feel Nadim, just beyond Bea’s borders, and he practically glowed with the shared sensations.
Trembling, I pulled back just a little, enough to make eye contact and register Bea’s smile. She leaned forward, bridging the distance, and her brow touched mine, her curls whispering around my face in delicate swirls. They carried a faint hint of the honey-and-almond shampoo she favored. Bea hovered close, breathing my breath, and it was beautiful.
She has the softest skin. That was my thought, but Nadim shared it as I ran a fingertip down the curve of her cheek. Her lashes fluttered, and I could see the path that led to both of us in bed, sliding together, hands joined, bodies arching—
Not the time.
I knew it, even if I wished I could drag Bea off for some privacy. Adrenaline and sex were definitely a thing, and I didn’t want to push too hard, too fast and wreck everything before we got started. I’d made mistakes before. Not again. Not with Bea. I’d never liked anybody so much while also thinking they were just fucking beautiful, head to toe. That meant I had to be careful and think everything through, get it right the first time.
With a pang, I recalled just how wrong it all went before. Bea would never ask me to steal for her, but I had—for Derry. And look where that got me. I’d pissed off a major crim; Torian Deluca thought I’d screwed with his supply chain, and that asshole was probably still plotting how to get at me. But I couldn’t worry about Deluca when I had Lifekiller on the line and a bunch of Abyin Dommas relying on me.
“We should see if they need our help on Greenheld,” Bea said, her voice soft and breathy. Impossible not to take that as a compliment. I put everything else out of my head for the time being.
“On it.” I headed to Ops, where I got Chao-Xing on the comm. Like me, she looked shaky, red around the eyes. Humans might be able to do these mental gymnastics, but they came at a physical cost. I could feel my blood sugar dropping.
“You okay?” I asked.
“We don’t have the leisure for a chat. Why did you ring?”
“Right to it, then. How’s Yusuf?” He had dropped out of the bond first, and I was worried his parasite might be giving him trouble.
“He’s getting treatment in Medbay. Bonding agitates his condition.”
“Will he be all right? We still have plenty of meds in stock.”
“I think so. I’ve instructed the bot to tell me if the situation becomes critical. Greenheld’s Planetary Defense Coalition has asked to meet with us, but I don’t think it’s wise to linger long. We should hunt Lifekiller down at once.”
“Easier said than done,” I muttered.
Destroying Lifekiller was the most impossible job I could imagine, and for a second I thought about walking away. We pulled it out of cryo, but Bacia let it escape. Still, we were guilty of that first thing. With that much skin in the game, I couldn’t say good luck to the rest of the galaxy. Not that Nadim would let me.
True, Zara.
God, I loved how he said my name.
“What does the PDC want?” I asked, realizing C-X was waiting to hear back.
“I’m not sure. We shouldn’t leave our Leviathan vulnerable, though. A delegation can go planetside, but not everyone in both crews.”
“Understood. Starcurrent should be there for sure. Who else?”
“I’ll pilot,” Chao-Xing said. “And I’d like you along for backup.”
I couldn’t help it. My grin started small, brightened up until she rolled her eyes. “You like me. You really, really like me.”
“I’ve come to respect your abilities,” she said stiffly.
Whatever. I understood damn well that wasn’t a denial. “Fine, I’m on board for the away team. We’ll leave Bea here and Marko with Yusuf?”
“Sounds good. I’ll collect you in our Hopper in a quarter hour.”
I took that time to cram down some food and put on lipstick. If I was about to meet important aliens, I should look good, right? I also changed my uniform and rigged up the remote-Nadim communications device so he could ride along.
Then I contacted Starcurrent. “Did Chao-Xing already ping you?”
“Good,” said Starcurrent. “On the way to the docking bay now.”
“Excellent.”
I got there a few seconds before the Abyin Dommas and we waited in the antechamber as Nadim opened for Chao-Xing’s Hopper. Once the atmo stabilized, I hurried for the shuttle, Starcurrent close behind. This was the same team that had survived the temple of doom where Lifekiller had been buried, so we’d be fine for a simple meet and greet, no problem.
I could almost hear my mother saying, Pride goeth before a fall. And I shivered it off.
As I buckled into the passenger seat—Starcurrent preferred the back because there was more room—I realized that this was an honest-to-God First-Contact situation for Earth. The Sliver was kind of . . . Zone-dirty, unofficial, not something you’d put on an Honors program resume where you were bragging about what the recruits had accomplished. But a visit to Greenheld? This was something to write home about. I imagined myself telling Mom and Kiz about it as Chao-Xing fired up the engines and ran the usual system checks to make sure we wouldn’t explode on atmospheric entry.
A pang went through me. I’d most likely never get the chance to tell my mom and sister anything. It surprised me faintly that I wanted to. I could even picture myself visiting them in the dome, if I didn’t have to stay. If I knew Nadim was waiting for me, just beyond the pull of the angry red planet they called home.
Always, he promised silently, and I just about melted.
“You’re clear.” Bea’s voice came through the comms as Chao-Xing swooped us out of the hold and into the high-orbit vantage above Greenheld.
“Are you with me?” I whispered to Nadim.
“I am.”
“Has been long since I came to Greenheld,” Starcurrent said, and I didn’t think I was imbuing that wistful edge to zis translated voice through my imagination.
“When your people join the Honors, do you have to say good-bye to everyone?” I asked.
“No. Why would this be?”
So there were differences in the program. It made sense if the Leviathan wanted humans for their warlike qualities. They took us on the “Journey” and told us there was no coming back, so our people wouldn’t ask questions on Earth. That way, when we died in their secret war, there were no reports to make. And nobody on Earth any wiser. It made me seethe, that manipulation. But who could I get mad at over it? Nadim? Nope. Never.