Despite not loving the arrangement, Leah was grateful. She’d endured far worse.
Sadie set her cup down. “You are always welcome at Lawford House—if you need somewhere to stay between positions. Or for whatever reason.”
“Thank you, though I would hate to intrude on your new happiness.”
“I’ve been married nearly a year now,” Sadie said with a light laugh.
Leah gave her a saucy look. “Tired of Law already?”
“Not by half.” Sadie’s joy was palpable. If Leah weren’t so happy for her friend, she might have been jealous. “But I’m serious that you should come stay. Or at least visit more. When I’m revealed to Mrs. Selkirk as your oldest and dearest friend, I will tell her that when we are in London, I require you to call on me at least fortnightly. No, weekly.”
Giggling, Leah reached for her teacup. “We can certainly try that.”
“I confess I felt better last year when I arrived in London just knowing you were there,” Sadie said. “It was all so intimidating.”
“I confess I find that shocking. You are one of the strongest people I know.”
“Strong isn’t bold or brave. You’re all those things,” Sadie said with conviction.
Leah stuffed the rest of her spice cake in her mouth to keep from answering. She wasn’t brave. Or bold. If she were, she would have told Phin years ago that she loved him. That she’d always loved him. That there would never, ever be anyone for her but him. How could there be?
From the moment he’d kissed her in the castle folly in the botanical gardens when she’d been nine, he’d held her heart. That love had only grown and flourished since, not that he knew of it. They’d never ever discussed that kiss. Why would she tell him of her affection? Unrequited love was utterly pointless. And pathetic. It was also seemingly impossible to eradicate. Leah had tried, including an ill-conceived “romantic” encounter with another young man during one of the matchmaking festivals before she’d left Marrywell. That had taught her that no one would take the place of Phin in her mind or her heart.
“Leah?”
Blinking, Leah realized Sadie was watching her from the other side of the table. “Sorry, my mind wandered. I saw Phin yesterday while taking a walk in the gardens.”
Sadie’s eyes lit with interest, and she leaned forward slightly. “Did you? Has it really been seven years since you last saw each other?”
Leah nodded. It had felt like a lifetime, and yet her feelings for him hadn’t diminished at all. Seeing him had given her a physical jolt, as if she’d been struck by lightning. None of that mattered, however, since he didn’t share her feelings or any electrical charge whatsoever. In fact, it was worse than that. She frowned. “I think he may be interested in Genevieve.”
“How do you feel about that?” Sadie asked softly.
When Phin had offered Genevieve his arm, Leah had wanted to leap between them. Then, watching Genevieve grasp his sleeve, Leah had nearly slapped her hand away.
Leah snapped her gaze to her friend, and Sadie went on, “Do you still hold him in the same…esteem?”
“No, that is the distant past. It may as well be as ancient as Rome, actually.” Leah took a long sip of tea and prayed her friend wouldn’t see through her lies. Or that she at least wouldn’t say anything.
Leah had never stopped loving him, even knowing they would never be together. How could they be with her in London and him here in Marrywell? But the longer he’d gone without marrying, the more Leah’s faint hope had grown. Perhaps if he saw her now, after such a long time, he’d view her differently. That hope had prompted her to suggest to Mrs. Selkirk that they attend the matchmaking festival. Never in her selfish, ridiculous imaginings had she dreamed that Phin might be drawn to Genevieve instead.
Might. They’d only just met. Still, Leah knew Genevieve and she knew Phin, or she had known him, anyway. She cast Sadie a troubled look. “I’m concerned they are not a good match.”
“Why is that?”
“I can’t see Genevieve being happy in Marrywell. She’d expect that Phin would agree to at least visit London, if not spend part of the year there. And she vastly prefers being indoors. Her favorite activities are needlework, playing the pianoforte, and reading the latest gossip. We both know Phin practically lives outside.”
Sadie lifted her teacup. “I see. That does sound like a mismatch. They will likely come to that conclusion quickly, don’t you think?”
“Perhaps. I only want to be a good friend. And if I’m to be a good companion, I should tell Genevieve that Phin is absolutely tied to Marrywell and to the botanical gardens. Or, I should just encourage them both and keep my observations to myself.” Leah rubbed her hand over her forehead. The part of her that loved Phin wanted to stick her nose in, but they had no future together. Phin was tied to Marrywell, and Leah had been far happier away from here.
After sipping her tea, Sadie set the cup down. “I think you should tell Phin about Genevieve’s expectations and preferences. He’d appreciate your honesty.”
Yes, he likely would. “It would give me an excuse to pay a call on him tomorrow.” The festival would start the day after, and she wanted to see him before things became busier.
“Then by all means, you should,” Sadie said with a laugh before adding, “If Mrs. Selkirk will allow it.”
“She seemed keen about Phin when he escorted Genevieve about the gardens for a half hour yesterday. If I tell her that I’m going to speak with him about Genevieve—which I am—she’ll no doubt be in favor.”
“How interesting that Mrs. Selkirk would support her daughter marrying someone like Phin. After what you just told me, it seems Miss Selkirk would be better matched with a gentleman in London.”
“I thought so too, but her Season hasn’t been terribly successful thus far. When I suggested the matchmaking festival, Mrs. Selkirk leapt at the idea.”
“What of her father?” Sadie asked. “Or is he leaving all the marriage planning and negotiating to Mrs. Selkirk?”
“Captain Selkirk is away training with his regiment. I believe he’s expected back in London later this spring.”
Leah fidgeted with her remaining spice cake. “Do you know if Phin is planning to seek a bride this year?” That would explain his potential interest in Genevieve.
Sadie shook her head. “I don’t. He has seemed content in his bachelorhood. What about you? There is another option for your future—you could wed. And since I’m the May Queen, I have it on good authority that you can be a maiden fair. If you want.” She winked at Leah.