It Happened One Night(3)
Author: Melinda Curtis

 

“Not interested,” Chad grumbled. There was only one woman for him, and he had only one more year to find her.

 

“Dr. Ipswich says you can’t go anywhere until you’ve had a full dose from the I.V.” Phillip gestured toward a plastic bag hanging from a metal pole near Chad’s bed. It was half empty. “Take a beat, bro. This is serious.”

 

“Serious? Did I miss something?” Grandma Dotty clutched Chad’s arm. “Is Whiskers dying?”

 

Chad held his breath, waiting for his brother to answer. It would be just his luck to have a brain tumor discovered when he was finally on the verge of earning his father’s respect.

 

“Did he hit his head when he keeled over? Whiskers, do you remember me?” Grandma Dotty peered into Chad’s eyes. She wore electric blue eye-shadow and bright pink lipstick that matched the color of her jumpsuit.

 

Chad’s head spun.

 

“The doctor said it’s most likely dehydration compounded by stress, lack of food and sleep.” Phil patted Chad’s shoulder awkwardly. “Honestly, Chad, you’ve been living at the office and surviving on coffee.”

 

“Dehydration. Right. That’s why I have the I.V.” What a relief. Chad could show up at work tomorrow and…

 

Chad’s gaze fell on Grandma Dotty. Dear, well-meaning Dotty, who was more than a step or two down the dementia trail. She had no filter. “You can’t tell anyone about this. Either one of you.” He hoped they hadn’t called the rest of the family yet.

 

Phil stared at Chad the way he did right before delivering a poor financial report. “But…”

 

“I see what you’re doing, Whiskers.” Grandma Dotty crossed her arms over her thin chest. “You don’t want us to tell your father about this. You think you’ll just go on as if nothing happened. Huh. That’s a lot of thinking for a man whose been unconscious for over an hour. You’ve probably never heard of Albert Cross.”

 

“Who?” Chad was lost. And by the look on his face, so was Phil.

 

“Albert. Cross.” Grandma Dotty tossed her hands impatiently. “He was a neighbor of ours. Worked himself to death. Don’t you remember?”

 

“When was this?” Phil asked carefully.

 

“Nine-teen-seven-ty-four.” Grandma Dotty shook her finger at Phil, emphasizing her syllables, oblivious to the fact that neither of her grandsons had been born then. “First there was Albert’s collapse, like this.” She gestured to Chad. “The doctor was called, and Albert was told to take some time off. But did he? No. He rolled out of bed and went right back to work. He was dead six days later.”

 

“Did he have a brain tumor?” Chad asked, shaken enough that he ran a hand over his head, checking for lumps.

 

“He did not have a brain tumor.” Dotty tugged at the floral scarf around her neck. “He was like you, Whiskers. Struck down in his prime because he refused to take care of himself.”

 

“I take care of myself just fine.” Granted, it was a statement hard to back up while lying flat on his back in a hospital, but he wanted to believe it.

 

Phil and Grandma Dotty exchanged glances, and then hearty laughter.

 

“All right. All right.” Chad relented. “Given my situation, I’ll work from home tomorrow.” But only tomorrow. “Just promise me you won’t tell Dad or anyone at the office about this.”

 

“Not so fast, Whiskers.” Dotty thrust her dainty nose in the air. “There’s a cost to be paid for my silence.”

 

Thank heavens, his grandmother could be bought. “What do you want? A diamond ring? Earrings? Phil can get whatever you want.”

 

Phil tried to laugh, but the look in his eyes was serious. “Bribery is not how we handle family crises.”

 

“It is.” Grandma Dotty continued to be put out. “I should know. I’m very good in a crisis. Just ask your cousin Kitty or Violet. I just returned from vacation with Vi in the Hamptons.” She dug in her purse, peering in and rooting around the small bag. “You’re lucky I’m here. The both of you. I met a woman in the waiting room. She was… She is…” His grandmother stopped her search, a lost look in her eyes, an indication her brain was blipping offline.

 

Chad’s heart broke to see her fade from the present. “You met a woman in the waiting room?”

 

“Yes. This woman… She gave me a card of someone who helped her.” Jerking back to the present, Grandma Dotty dumped the contents of her purse on the hospital bed, picking through the odd collection of mints, bangles, and notes to herself in her distinctive scrawl.

 

Phil picked up a scrap of yellow paper and turned it toward Chad. It read: Find wives for grandsons.

 

Chad selected another note. Login: GrandmaDotty. Password: Matchmaking4Babies!

 

And he’d thought she was kidding when she mentioned swiping earlier.

 

“You need a health coach,” Grandma Dotty was saying, still sifting through the clutter. “I was going to hire Coach Nora to keep me mentally sharp, but you have a bigger need for her. Although… Maybe… We could share her.”

 

“Share a health coach?” Chad blinked up at Phil, hoping his brother understood he didn’t need anything of the sort.

 

Phil shrugged. “It’s better than letting her play matchmaker.”

 

“Aha!” Grandma Dotty produced a colorful business card and held it triumphantly. “A health coach makes sure you eat right for whatever health issues you’re battling. She makes you take breaks from work to exercise and stick to a sleep schedule.”

 

“No.” Chad shook his head. It seemed personally intrusive and disruptive to his workday.

 

“It actually sounds reasonable,” Phil said slowly, studying Chad from behind his glasses. “If the doctor approves, I say we look into it.”

 

“No,” Chad said again, more emphatically.

 

“Yes.” Grandma Dotty took out her cell phone, clear-eyed once more. “I can either call the health coach and keep your hospital stay a secret or call your father and blab the entire episode. What’ll it be, Whiskers?”

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two

 

 

“Is this Nora Flores? The Nora Flores?”

 

The Nora Flores? That was a stretch.