‘No, no, you catch up with the children,’ said Sofia, filling the kettle. The kettle looked expensive, thought Carmen. How did you even buy an expensive kettle?
Pippa sat down.
‘My favourite show on television is Just Add Magic, but we don’t watch much television because Skylar says screen time is very bad for your eyes and also your soul.’
‘Who’s Skylar?’
‘She’s the nanny,’ said Pippa just at the same moment as Sofia said, ‘She’s someone who helps us out.’
‘Where is she?’ said Carmen.
‘Oh, she’s a student so she’s at a class now. You’ll meet her … PHOEBE!’
There was the noise of stomping on the stairs and everyone looked up.
Another version of Sofia appeared, but this one was not glossy: instead, she had messy tangled hair. She was plump, her face looked sticky, and her lower lip stuck out so she appeared to be pouting.
‘Were you asleep, darling?’ asked Sofia, looking up.
‘No,’ said Phoebe in a grumpy voice.
‘This is your aunt, Carmen.’
Phoebe regarded Carmen with an unimpressed gaze.
‘I know she doesn’t send birthday presents,’ said Pippa, ‘but you have to be nice to her. Kindness wins!’
Carmen winced. Phoebe was still staring at her. It was not a cheery look.
‘Did you bring us anything?’ said Phoebe finally.
It hadn’t occurred to Carmen. She mentally filed through the contents of her bag and remembered a packet of Kettle Chips she’d been planning on sharing with Sofia over a bottle of wine that of course Sofia couldn’t drink. Oh lord.
‘PHOEBE,’ said Pippa. ‘That’s rude. That’s rude, isn’t it, Mummy?’
Sofia waved her hand in a faintly disparaging manner.
‘It is rude though.’
‘Shut up!’ said Phoebe.
Carmen felt the uncomfortable sensation of both sympathising with and faintly disliking quite a small child.
‘Um,’ she said, and opened her big bag which, filled with clothes just thrown in when she’d woken up late for her train, practically exploded all over the kitchen, by far the messiest thing in the house.
‘Wow,’ said Pippa.
Carmen retrieved the Kettle Chips with effort.
‘Here you are,’ she said, hurling them in the children’s general direction. ‘Share those?’
As if summoned by a whistle only he could hear, Jack came hurtling back into the kitchen at full steam.
‘CRISPS!’
Phoebe was already tearing open the packet. ‘Go away – they’re for me!’
‘No, they’re to SHARE,’ said Pippa, trying to look above it but desperately putting out her hands to scoop up the largest crisps.
‘But I ASKED FIRST!’
‘Ugh, these are PLAIN,’ Jack announced, sputtering crumbs everywhere.
Sofia sat bolt upright, eyes wide.
‘But it’s nearly supper time!’ she said. ‘You can’t have crisps, guys!’
They stared at her over the opened packet, mouths full of crumbs.
‘But our AUNT is here.’
‘What even is supper?’ said Carmen. ‘Do you mean “tea”?’
Sofia frowned as the door opened and in entered one of the shiniest people Carmen had ever seen.
Skylar – as Carmen deduced this must be – had long blonde hair, very good skin, a yoga-fit body and bright blue eyes. She walked in and stared at the burst suitcase lying on the floor and the children squabbling over the crisps as if she wasn’t sure she’d come into the right house.
Sofia looked a little tense.
‘Oh, hi, Skylar!’ she said overbrightly. ‘This is my sister, Carmen.’
Skylar did something that Carmen found astonishing: she held up a finger to tell Sofia – the great lawyer – to be quiet for a second.
‘Hello, children?’
She had the kind of intonation went up at the end.
Immediately they stopped squabbling over the crisps. Pippa stepped away.
‘Namaste, Skylar,’ she said quickly.
‘Namaste,’ mumbled the others, both reluctant to release their grip on the packet.
Skylar let out a beaming smile and turned to face Carmen.
‘Hello!’
‘Uh yeah, hi.’
She really was so pretty, it was hypnotising.
‘It’s just if we’re going to be working together? Sofia doesn’t normally let the children snack? On junk food? Just before we eat? It’s really, really bad for them?’
‘Um, we’re not going to be working together?’ said Carmen, realising as she did so that somehow she’d let her voice go up at the end of the phrase.
Sofia groaned and busied herself over the teapot.
‘I mean, are we?’ said Carmen, turning her face towards her sister.
‘I thought … a couple of nights a week Skylar has university classes … maybe you could … I mean, you don’t have to of course, but maybe you could … cook and do bedtime?’
The children looked at Carmen as if they were as doubtful about this as she was.
‘But I’m going to be working too!’
‘Sorry, could you just move that bag?’ came Skylar’s voice. ‘Only I want to get the recyclables out so I can help preserve the earth? You know you can’t recycle crisp packets?’
Carmen made the mistake of not zipping up the bag again, which meant, as she knelt down to pick it up, her washbag and knickers burst all over the floor.
‘KNICKERS!’ said Jack, bursting out laughing. Phoebe laughed too, while Pippa pursed her lips and looked disapproving. Sofia looked absolutely pained at all this horrible stuff going on in her Martin Moore kitchen. Face bright red, Carmen knelt down and started stuffing everything into the bag which now, of course, wouldn’t zip up. It seemed to take an hour to remove her washbag – which was filthy, and she thought out of the corner of her eye she caught Skylar mouthing something – and a couple of jumpers, stick them under one arm, sit down on the bag and zip up the rest, all the while watched by three mouth-breathing, crumb-covered children.
‘I’ll show you where you’re sleeping,’ said Sofia, getting up from her chair with some difficulty. ‘Actually, I should give you the tour.’
‘I’ll get the couscous going?’ said Skylar. ‘I hope you haven’t all ruined your appetites?’
There was another staircase that went down instead of up. Up contained a huge drawing room, a master suite with dressing room and bathroom, a pristine guest room, then up again under the eaves were the children’s beautiful rooms in sailor prints and White Company fairy lights and bunting. Carmen smiled tightly at the tour as Sofia, slightly apologetically, then took her down to the basement.
‘So I thought … ’
Sofia was using the bright tone of voice Carmen recognised from childhood, from when she had to deliver disappointing news like she’d only got an A minus instead of her usual A plus, or Carmen couldn’t keep that cat she’d found in the street as it belonged to somebody else.
‘ … you could sleep down here. It’s got its own bathroom so you wouldn’t have to share with the kids, and its own entrance so you can come and go as you like!’