‘Can’t. I’ve got debating after school then Dad’s set up some soccer training.’
‘I didn’t know you were doing debating.’
‘Dad said maybe I could stay at yours on Wednesdays.’
At yours. As if Felix didn’t live there anymore. Why the hell was Tony trying to keep Felix away from her? Allison placed the shoes back in the box and walked towards the entrance of the shop. Was it about childcare payments? Money? She waved impatiently for Felix to follow. Or was it something to do with the new woman? As Allison stepped through the door, the alarm went off and a security guard put his arm out in front of her. Felix sidled up next to her, keeping his eyes on the floor.
‘What’re you doing, Mum?’ he muttered. ‘You forgot to pay.’
As a golden-orange sunset lit up the clouds, Allison parked behind a large van, ten houses down from the bungalow. Dog-walkers meandered along the footpath returning from the off-leash area at Curl Curl beach. Tony’s cloak-and-dagger place was a weatherboard house, neither old nor new, nothing flashy, simply comfortable; the sort of bungalow where the same family might have lived happily for decades. From his street, she could hear the gentle lull of waves, the happy shouts of kids playing. She could taste salt in the air. This seaside suburb didn’t have the bush backdrop of Wirriga. Everything was out in the open: old weatherboard shacks from the 1950s sat alongside brand-new mansions of brick and glass.
And yet, Allison had seen nothing.
Watching. Waiting. Four weeks now. And still the woman hadn’t appeared.
A middle-aged couple stood at the bus stop, staring at their phones rather than talking to each other. In the fading light, their faces glowed blue with the reflection from the screens. Allison checked her own phone, pulling up Facebook so that she didn’t look so suspicious sitting in the car. She read the article that Nadia had posted about empowering women to create their best lives. Shona had linked to a book review so she clicked through to the blog. Tried to focus on the words while peeking up at the house every few seconds. A man came out of the place next to Tony’s.
This morning, she’d asked Felix outright: ‘What’s Dad up to this weekend?’
‘Not much.’
Allison knew she shouldn’t be here. She wasn’t a crazy, stalking ex. But Tony’s secrecy had sent her into an obsessive frenzy. After yesterday’s embarrassment with Elena, she had to know. Last night, Allison had trawled through Tony’s social media again. A new female friend had popped up on Facebook. This woman looked so ordinary—brown bob, white shirt, dark jacket, small smile on her ordinary face. How dare Tony turn my life upside down for this ordinary woman? It wasn’t logical but if Tony had to leave her, shouldn’t it be for a glamazon? A six-foot goddess with a flat stomach and golden tresses. And then, in the midst of her anger, she’d had to laugh. As if a six-foot bronzed goddess would want Tony: fifty-one and showing every year, a slight paunch, only just six foot himself, crooked teeth, hair in his nose and his ears, balding at the temples. And smart. And funny. And kind. And caring. And hers.
She’d figured out the Facebook friend was a colleague from work.
Still no movement at the house.
The buzz of her phone was so loud in the enclosed space that she knocked her leg against the steering wheel. Shit, don’t let it be Tony.
She checked the caller ID. ‘Hi, Nadia.’
‘Hi, what’re you up to?’
‘Nothing.’ The guilt flooded through her at the lie.
‘Do you want to come over for dinner?’
Sweet Nadia, a last-minute invitation, trying to keep her sane. And her poor husband, a friend of Tony’s, stuck in the middle. Even he didn’t know anything about the new woman.
‘Thanks, that’d be nice.’ Allison sighed. ‘Guess what? Tony has asked an agent to look at the house.’
‘You need to get some financial advice. If you want to keep the house, he’ll insist you buy him out.’
‘I know. I know.’
This time last year, she and Tony had been discussing restaurants for their silver wedding anniversary, talking about superannuation and long-term planning for their retirement and holidays. Now, Allison had to calculate if she could afford the mortgage on her teaching salary alone. She’d probably have to work until she was seventy-five.
‘Maybe you could get some extra cash by hosting Japanese exchange students?’ Nadia suggested.
‘That’s a better option than your joke about asking the strays to pay!’
Allison and Tony had always welcomed people to stay; Nadia had nicknamed them ‘the strays’. Mostly, they were Tony’s friends and family from England or their grown-up kids backpacking around Australia. Sometimes Felix’s mates stayed when their parents went on overseas trips. And they’d opened their home to any others who needed it: teachers from regional areas in Sydney for professional development programs; a Japanese exchange student who’d had problems with her host family. Even a family from school with their lovely Labrador, when a tree had crushed their house and the injured dad ended up in hospital.
‘Or …’ Nadia hesitated, ‘… you could rent out the house and move into a funky apartment. Start your own new life.’
‘I was happy with the old one.’
In the background, Allison heard Nadia’s two girls calling out. She pictured her friend cooking dinner for her family, juggling conversations between her daughters and her husband. Wanted by everyone. Needed by everyone.
‘Let’s take up something new, like salsa dancing,’ Nadia said. ‘That club in Narrabeen is holding lessons on Thursday nights.’
‘I am not learning to dance. And if you’re trying to get me to meet men, don’t!’ Allison couldn’t think of anything worse.
‘Well, you need some kind of project to …’
To stop me going crazy. Oh, Nadia, if only you could see me right now.
4
LUKE
Sitting at the hospital on Monday morning, Luke kept Gracie entertained by re-reading the dog-eared joke book.
‘What do you call a blind dinosaur?’
‘Do-you-think-he-saw-us.’ Gracie groaned. ‘That’s soooo old.’
‘Well, do you think Dr Rawson saw us?’ Luke asked, hoping Gracie enjoyed the rhythm of the words.
‘He’s nice. He gave me a red frog.’
‘Okay, smarty pants.’ Luke patted her leg. ‘What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?’
‘Dino-snore!’
In addition to loving the movie Frozen, Gracie loved dinosaur jokes. He needed to buy some new books; she knew all these jokes off by heart. This was the only one they had from back home.
‘Right, I’m going to find a joke that you’ve never heard before.’ He searched on his phone. ‘How do you ask a tyrannosaurus out to dinner?’
‘How?’
‘Tea, Rex?’
‘T-rex?’ she repeated, frowning.
‘Some people call dinner “tea”.’
The frown grew deeper.
‘Don’t worry about it, honey. It’s silly. You can borrow a new joke book from the school library.’
The frown turned into a gigantic smile. ‘Can I borrow books?’