And we're deliberately sneaking around because I don't want anyone to know that we're going to hook up. It's a small, gossipy group, but we're allowed to have some secrets, right? I hope?
Someone pulls a flap back on one of the huts, peering out into the night. I freeze and then let out a sigh of relief when I see it's A’tam. He grins at the sight of me, his teeth bright against his shadow-darkened blue skin. Am I really doing this? Yes, I am, I decide as I take a few steps forward. It's just sex. Sex means nothing. Women are allowed to have meaningless hookups, too. I can do a one-night stand.
So I put a casual, easy smile on my face and join him in his hut.
A'tam closes the flap behind me, and then he's standing at my side. This close together, he's huge. I'm average height for a woman, maybe a little on the shorter side, but A'tam is enormous. He's near seven feet tall and powerfully built, and I feel tiny next to him. Delicate.
"I was not sure if you were coming," he says, his voice overloud.
I immediately put my hands on his chest, motioning for quiet. "Keep your voice down," I whisper, grinning up at him. "Your hut is like a stone's throw away from Vordis's."
"Bah. Let him listen." A'tam waves a hand. "He has other things on his mind than whether or not I have a mate."
A mate. I decide I'm going to let that comment slide for now, and I study A'tam's hut. The man is pretty, but a carpenter he is not. The floor isn't entirely even and there's a finger-sized gap between a few of the logs. The mortared rocks look helter-skelter and even the teepee top of his hut seems as if it's about to fall down. "You're lucky you're pretty," I tease him, gazing at the inside of his home. "I don't know that many ladies would be impressed by this house."
"It impressed you, did it not?" A'tam teases back, brushing my hair off my shoulders. "You are here."
I pat his chest again. He's wearing a furry vest and a loincloth, and neither one covers much skin. It's positively, deliciously distracting. "I'm here because you're handsome, not because your hut is great."
He laughs as if I've said something funny. "You don't like my hut? What is there not to like? It has me inside it."
I roll my eyes, but I can't help but smile at his arrogance. "You kinda rushed, didn't you?" When he bends down and pulls at the laces of the front of my tunic, I suspect that yes, he did rush. A'tam's not the type to patiently wait for something. It's cute. He leans in and kisses me, his lips brushing over mine. "But I guess I'm not here because of your amazing hut," I whisper, distracted by his nearness. God, he's tall. He practically has to fold himself in half to kiss me.
He pulls at the laces again.
I get a burst of shyness. I know I came here for sex, but…I want to be eased into things. I want a little romance, not just a quick bang. So I pry his fingers away. "Okay, now you're rushing me."
A'tam grins at me, all boyishness. "I know. I am all eagerness because I finally get to touch you."
That melts away some of my unease. I reach up to touch him, fascinated. His skin is like velvet, and such a creamy, light blue that it reminds me of the sky. To think that it's covering such a big frame makes me quiver just a little. "Can we sit down and talk a bit first?"
"Of course!" A'tam takes my hand and guides me into his hut. He pulls up an overstuffed pillow—one that I made, I notice—and indicates I should sit on it. I do and he immediately thumps down onto the floor next to me, leaning in close. He takes my hand in his and laces his fingers with mine. "I am glad you are here, tonight."
I lean close in an almost-nudge of my shoulder. "Because you don't want to sleep alone?"
"Does it sound foolish if I say yes?" He studies our joined fingers. They don't exactly fit together, because his are thick, sturdy things with large knuckles and tipped claws. "I made a hut to impress females, but you are not impressed, and it is a lonely space to sleep in." He runs one claw along my knuckles, pausing at my “extra” one. "Back on the island, we all slept in the same cave and it was comforting to hear the breath of others as they slept. It reminded me that despite all we had lost, we had not lost everyone. But here alone…no, I do not like it." A'tam glances up at me, his smile crooked and rueful.
My heart melts. Haven't I felt the same? The first few weeks here on the icy beach were devastating, coming to terms with the fact that I'd woken up on an alien planet and my old life was gone. I didn't have anyone in particular I'd miss other than friends, but it was the realization that I'd lost all that was familiar. As a result, we women have clung to each other quite a bit. We huddle together by the fire, we travel in pairs, and we all sleep in the same cave because it's comforting, like a big slumber party.
So yeah, I know exactly what he's saying.
I squeeze his hand. "Well, I'm glad you're here."
"Oh, I am glad of this, too." His gaze moves to my mouth, and he stares at my lips. I can practically tell what he's thinking. A'tam is pretty and fun, but he is not what I'd call “deep.” That's one of the things I find so appealing about him. After growing up with my ultra-serious mother who hated my sense of humor and sarcasm, I appreciate someone that can just have fun in the smallest ways. If I'm going to be stuck on an ice planet for the rest of my life, I might as well enjoy myself, right? And that starts with A'tam.
So I reach up and touch his cheek, stroking my fingers over it. He's incredibly warm, his khui keeping him far warmer than my khui keeps me. I'm a little jealous of that, but I suppose as long as I can snuggle up against him, I'm good. He closes his eyes, smiling at my touch, and I brush his beard. "So soft," I murmur. "That's always surprising to me."
"You should not tell a male that he is soft as you touch him," A'tam replies in a low voice. "You will make his pride shrivel."
"Your beard is soft, you nut." I stroke it again, because it's silky and pleasant to the touch, unlike a human male's facial hair, which can abrade a layer off a girl's skin when you kiss. "The rest of you is plenty hard, I'm sure."
"You can pet all of me and find out," he teases.
I'm torn between rolling my eyes and doing just that. So confident, this guy. I pull on his vest, dragging him closer until our faces line up, and then I kiss him.
Kissing A'tam is always different than kissing other men. I've had my share of dates in the past, and while most of them didn't turn into relationships, I consider myself decently experienced with kissing. It's a slippery dance of tongues, of tasting each other, of opening up to the other person and seeing if they appeal to you. Some men kiss terribly, and some kiss intensely well. After days of practicing together, A'tam falls somewhere in the middle of that, which I can't quite figure out. His tongue is amazing—all ridges that stroke and tease—when he's not jackhammering it into my mouth.
And that's A'tam in a nutshell—a mixture of enthusiasm and sultriness that draws me in.
Tonight, I get sultry A'tam. His lips move over mine with exquisite slowness and he takes his time as he kisses me. Our lips meet and part, each kiss a simple tasting, and then he tilts his head, changing the angle and nipping at my lower lip with those big fangs of his. It makes my skin prickle with awareness. He's big and strong, this guy, and I love that his size overwhelms me. It's just…sexy. He's just sexy.