He’d make up reasons. Like it was going to rain. Or the walk was too long.
Mom never let him get away with that stuff—because he acts like this only when he’s up to something.
I give him a curt nod.
Because I know.
I see you, bro.
“It doesn’t take two people to man the lighthouse here,” Toby says.
“I’m staying.”
“She’s right,” Dad says. “It’ll be better for you not to stay alone.”
Navarro nods. “We need to move out.”
A second later he steps into the trees and disappears.
Dad opens his backpack and hands Toby the radio. “Stay alert.”
Jinx slings her backpack over her shoulders and moves toward where I last saw Navarro. “Call if you need anything. We’re on channel two.” She turns back. “Be careful.”
“You too,” I say.
And she’s gone.
Dad gives me a hug.
Then it’s Toby and me.
And the creepy swaying trees.
And the mosquitos sucking away all my blood.
And...
It’s so quiet.
Something hoots.
Toby stands there for a few minutes, a scowl on his face. Watching the space between the trees where Dad disappeared.
“Woo-hoo! Earth to Toby,” I say, in as normal of a way as I can.
He ignores me, walking past me into the camper.
“Uh. Hello,” I say. To myself. Or maybe the monkey in the tree.
I go back into the camper too.
Toby’s packing another backpack. Filled with food and several more guns. Not the kind of behavior you’d expect from a guy who’d resolved to stay put.
“Hey! What are you doing?”
He ignores me.
“Toby!”
He lifts up the large, heavy pack and comes toward me.
I spread my arms out and block the door. “What do you think you’re doing?”
He tries to give me the radio. “I’m leaving.”
LEAD: Toby Novak leaves sister and deserts doomed mission.
Over my dead body.
“Oh hell no.”
I keep my arms spread out to stop him from passing, and then we’re in a bizarro pushing and shoving match. Like we’re five-year-olds or something. It would have ended with both of us in time-out back when we were little.
It hits me that we’re doing the exact opposite of what Dad wanted.
Stay alert.
It also hits me that I’m out of breath. Again.
“Wait. Wait. Wait.” I put my hands up in surrender. “This is stupid. Exactly where do you think you’re gonna go?”
He runs his hand through his dark hair. “Away from here!”
“Toby—”
“Mac,” he cuts through me. “What are we doing? Dad won’t even consider a plan that ensures his own safety. You and Jinx are living in some fantasy land that involves somehow getting back into America to—” he makes air quotes “—rescue Charles.”
“You don’t want to rescue Charles?” I demand.
“Of course I do!” Toby’s face is totally red. “But in case you’ve forgotten, he’s in the custody of a mass murderer. A superspy with the resources of the government at her disposal. You really think we’re gonna beat Stephanie Marshall at her own game? I want to go back. Go back and do everything over...because I miss...”
I put my hands on my hips. “You miss what?”
My brother’s anger threatens to simmer over, but at least he’s showing emotion. Plus. The expression on his face. It’s familiar. From those days when we were tiny, and Mom worked long hours in her restaurant.
“Is that what this is about? Mom? You miss Mom?”
I miss Mom.
“I miss everything!” he hisses through his teeth. “I miss our old house. My old life. My friends. I miss when my shift in the library ended at noon and my next class started at 12:05. My biggest problem was how to grab a sandwich and make it across Cady Mall before Professor Lidell took attendance.”
I’m losing my brother.
And. Oh crap.
“Toby. Don’t tell me.”
This is about her.
“Don’t tell me you’re still pining away for that bleach-blonde bobblehead. You only knew her for, like, three days. And she’s Ammon Carver’s daughter.”
“It’s not about her.”
Part of me thinks that it is. That, totally stupid as it seems, Toby thinks he’s in love with Annika Carver and wishes he’d run away with her when she offered to take him.
“You know Dr. Doomsday thought she was totally cutthroat.”
“He didn’t know everything,” Toby answers quickly. His expression softens. “Mac. You remember our old house? The birch tree?”
Don’t cry.
“Uh...yeah. Mom planted all those flowers underneath it. That spot was always cool in the shade. Even in the summer.”
Toby pats my arm. “I think there must still be a place in the world like that. Where nobody’s heard of The Opposition. Or The Spark. I’m going south until I find it.”
MacKenna. Don’t. You. Cry.
Get angry again. Boil inside. Erupt like a volcano.
“So you won’t help us? You were gonna sneak off and leave me here? Without even saying goodbye?”
He shakes his head. “Help you? Help you what? Commit suicide? The border is guarded by the entire Mexican Army and half the National Police. You won’t get back across, and if you try, you’ll be killed.” He lets his hands fall to his sides. “If I thought you’d come with me, I would have asked. But...”
“What? But what?” I demand.
Something in the window has caught his attention. “Shh! I think I saw something.”
All the muscles in my legs tighten.
He firmly pushes me aside and opens the camper door slowly. “Stay here and be quiet.” He’s getting his gun ready as he steps outside.
It’s like my feet are made of lead. So heavy. Immobile. I almost have to pick them up. But somehow. I make them go.
Step. Step. Step.