He took a deep breath and let his hands drop to his sides. There was no point in even thinking about it.
Slowly Harri got to his feet and picked up his rucksack. He’d never noticed before quite how small it was. How on earth would he manage to fit in all the things he would need over the coming months or even years? He remembered his family packing the last time they were resettled, and how he’d been sure that one suitcase would never be enough. This time he wasn’t allowed to take even that much with him.
Harri gathered up his warmest clothes – the woollen leg warmers Mutter had just finished knitting, the waistcoat Emma had given him for Christmas, and some warm insoles for his shoes. He would wear as many things as possible and pack the rest. He quickly realised there’d be no room for personal items, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing – his possessions could easily get lost or be stolen on the journey. They were far better off with Mutter and Emma.
Mutter wept when he told her the news that evening, but then she wrapped him in her arms, silent and holding on to him for so long that he wondered if she would ever let go, but he didn’t mind. It felt good to let her comfort him so lovingly and to be her little boy again for this one last time. As of tomorrow, things would be very different.
After supper the three of them stayed sitting around the table, holding hands and remembering all the good times they had shared together.
The following morning, Mutter would have liked to have accompanied him to the collection point but she had to go to work. Instead, she hugged and kissed him again. ‘God bless you, my son, God bless you.’ Her voice broke and she turned her head away to hide her tears.
‘I’ll write as soon as I can,’ Harri promised. An exercise book and pencil were the only two non-essential items he had packed.
‘Goodbye, my darling,’ Mutter said, kissing him just one last time before rushing out of the door.
‘Look after yourself, won’t you?’ Emma said, hugging her brother with all her might, and then she too let him go before literally running from the house.
Harri had enough time to enjoy a decent breakfast without hurrying. He hadn’t forgotten what hunger felt like and how quickly you lost your strength when your stomach was empty and aching. Next, he packed enough provisions to last him for several days. If he was careful he might just be able to make them stretch for a week. He tucked a few roubles in his pocket just in case, and then took a last look around the house before finally leaving with a heavy heart.
Five men were already waiting in the yard outside the administration office when he arrived. Richard was among them and Harri knew the others by sight at least. They were all German and considerably older than he was. He noticed the looks of surprise and pity that were cast in his direction, and did his best to conceal his unease. Someone lit a cigarette and passed it around but Harri waved it away. He had never been able to see the point of smoking and now was not the time to start bad habits.
After a while a truck drove into the yard. The list of names was checked and since all were present, they were told to climb into the back of the truck, and the vehicle set off.
About an hour later, they reached Timofehevka train station.
Almost frozen stiff after the long ride over the icy steppe, Harri hoped they might be allowed to wait inside a building or yard that was sheltered from the wind, but the driver led them to the end of the platform where another group of men were already waiting. Harri stamped his feet and blew on his hands, doing his best to get warm. More and more vehicles arrived, bringing men from the surrounding villages, and the platform quickly filled up.
A goods train roared into the station and Harri was relieved to see that the freight cars were all enclosed. The process of dividing the men into the cars had just begun when his attention was drawn to a nearby commotion. Two young men, both in their early twenties, had arrived on foot with a group of men. Presumably they were from Timofehevka or some settlement close by. The unusual thing was that a girl of about Harri’s age was walking between the two of them, clutching tightly on to their hands, yelling and screaming wildly. She was clearly mentally disturbed and the two young men looked desperate.
‘Please,’ one of them begged of a soldier who was trying to pull the girl away. ‘Please, we are all she has left. Our sister isn’t fit to look after herself – just look at her, for pity’s sake!’ He pleaded again. ‘At least let my brother stay – she’ll die without one of us here to look after her!’ There were tears in his eyes.
‘Enough of this!’ the soldier shouted. He tore the girl’s hand away roughly and gave the man a shove towards the train. ‘I’ve no time for this kind of nonsense. Think you can dodge your duty, do you?’
The young man stumbled but managed to stay upright as he turned around again. ‘She won’t be able to survive on her own!’ he beseeched the soldier.
‘It’s got nothing to do with me. Someone will be found to take care of her.’ The soldier now tried to prise the girl’s desperate grip off her other brother, but she screamed even more loudly and fought him.
Finally the soldier had had enough and pulled out his gun. ‘Tell her to let go or I’ll put an end to her misery right here and now.’
‘No!’ this second young man shouted, putting his arms around his sister, who instantly calmed down. He talked to her quietly, stroking her hair while slowly freeing himself from her grip. He gave her one last tender kiss before being pushed away himself. He stumbled on, blinded by tears.
Lost and alone, the girl stared after them.
Harri looked away. He didn’t want to think what this separation from her brothers would mean for the poor girl, didn’t want to imagine what now lay in store for her. He could still hear her desperate wails as the train eventually left the station.
The journey took only two days and was almost pleasant in comparison with what he’d been expecting. Once a day the men were fed a small amount of watery soup and a hunk of bread, and in between they were given warm water to drink.
Harri’s spirits rose. It looked as if the people in charge cared enough about the welfare of their new recruits to make sure they didn’t starve. Things could be worse.
Early in the morning on the third day, the train stopped for the last time and the soldiers wrenched open the doors, ordering everyone out. Harri looked around with interest.
They found themselves in a large freight station, full of hustle and bustle. It was dark but he could dimly make out tall factory chimneys in the distance, churning out black clouds of smoke into the icy cold air.
‘Move it! Come on!’ the soldiers shouted, urging them on.
Harri stepped aside to make room for the countless men pouring out of the cars on either side of him. More and more wagons must have been hitched on each time the train stopped at a station.
Harri turned up the collar of his coat and pulled his hat down over his face to fend off the bitter cold as he set off slowly with his fellow men.
Right next to the station sprawled the enormous industrial zone where the tall chimneys stood poisoning the atmosphere. Light from all the lanterns dotted around showed a vast number of apparently derelict structures, while all about sat heaps of building materials and technical apparatus, seemingly dumped at random rather than installed as proper housing, and totally at the mercy of wind and weather. Harri remembered hearing that machinery and equipment had been removed from factories in other regions and taken farther east to protect them from the rapid advance of the German Wehrmacht – maybe some of those items had ended up here in Chelyabinsk? It was all very interesting but there was no opportunity to take a closer look. The convoy of men were marched past the factory and brought to a halt in front of a fenced-off area. Harri craned his neck, trying to see something, anything, over the heads of the taller men around him, but all he could see was a huge fence topped with barbed wire.