“I’ll think about it,” I promised, sending each one of them an appreciative glance while wishing Damien was here so they could feel my gratitude and love through the mental connection he wielded. Instead, I sent them a soft smile, more sure of my next words than I’d ever been about anything. “The truth is, my past is my past. I can’t change anything that happened, and while I may have more questions than answers, all that truly matters is my future, and that’s with you. All of you.”
Killian practically purred next to me, his green eyes intense as he pulled me onto his lap, cradled my face between his large hands, and kissed me soundly. Every press of his lips and sweep of his tongue shot straight to my heart and set me on fire until all my worries and concerns were pushed to the background to deal with another day.
“I’ve never heard anything so good in my entire life,” he muttered when we finally came up for air.
“Oh, I don’t know. I could think of something better,” I teased, letting everything else fall away except for my mates.
Hiro hummed a deep, rumbling sound. “And what’s that?”
I smiled sinfully. “How about ‘take me upstairs?’”
Laughter carried through the stairwell as Killian bounded up them two at a time with me in his arms, and while the three of them owned my body and showed me just how much they loved me, I knew what I said was true.
My men were my future, and I was more than ready to embrace it.
Four
Nix
“Today was so much fun!” Emersyn squealed with a big smile plastered across her little face. The night’s cool air nipped at her cheeks and nose, making them rosy. Her small hand was clasped in mine, and the careless way she swung them between us with childlike innocence made my heart squeeze in my chest. After all the hardship and heartache she’d suffered, she remained resilient, and I was determined to give her the childhood neither of us had been blessed to have—until now.
“Did you enjoy ice skating with Uncle Theo?” I questioned, knowing she more than enjoyed it. While the rest of my men had been busy training and adjusting to our new roles as the leaders of the rebellion, Theo had been easily coerced into creating a skating rink for us and being our own personal instructor. He was just as taken with the little girl as the rest of us were, watching her learn to glide across the ice with pride.
“I loved it,” she gushed. “It was like flying.” Letting go of my hand, she spread her arms and threw her head back. Not watching where she was going, she slipped on an icy spot, and I lunged to steady her before she fell onto the snow.
“Careful,” I warned gently, and she smiled sheepishly. Being around Emy had come more naturally than I ever expected, and while she wasn’t my child, it made it easier to picture having a family of my own someday. Until then, I had my hands full with my six mates and Emy too.
“My tummy is so full.” Emersyn rubbed a hand over her stomach as we headed down the path that led to the lodge. “Uncle Damien is the best cook. He makes really yummy mac and cheese.”
I chuckled. “I’ll make sure to tell him to make more for you soon. I think he’s trying a new pizza recipe tomorrow night.”
Emy watched the ground as we walked, kicking at the snow as we drew nearer to the lodge. Her blonde brows were furrowed as she contemplated something.
I reached out a hand and stopped her in her tracks. My Phoenix sent out a wave of heat and cooed softly in my head, picking up on the change in mood as clearly as the temperature shift in the air.
“What’s wrong?” I inquired gently, and I was bowled over by the sadness in Emy’s eyes when she looked at me.
“We won’t ever run out of food, will we?” she asked with a flood of concern in her tiny voice. “When I was with Mama, sometimes there wouldn’t be enough to eat. Uncle Damien makes a lot of food. I could eat less so it lasts longer.” She wrung her hands together as she gazed up at me, worried about issues well beyond her years. No child should have to worry where their next meal would come from.
“No, honey.” I shook my head and made sure she saw the truth in my gaze. “We won’t run out of food. Your uncles and I are going to make sure you always have everything you need from now on, okay? I promise.”
Emersyn flung herself into my arms, and I found myself blinking back tears that had gathered along the rims of my eyes. Right then and there, I swore I’d never let anything happen to Emersyn.
I knew what it was like to have a hard childhood, to wonder where your food would come from, or if the electricity would even stay on. So many nights I’d lain in bed hungry while I listened for Michael to come home, hoping like hell he’d be drunk enough to pass out and forget his bloodlust and the need to hurt me.
For most of my life, I’d wanted to someday be in a position to help children out of shitty situations like the one I’d grown up in. It’d been the driving force behind my desire to go to college and study criminal justice.
I wanted to lock the offenders up and throw away the key. But the Council would never be stopped by a set of bars. They needed to be eliminated, and seeing the fear in Emy’s expression over something as simple as a meal made anger churn in my stomach. They needed to pay for the damage they’d done to countless people’s lives, and I wouldn’t rest until their just deserts were served.
It was funny, however, how life had a way of coming back around. I might not be in college any longer, but my dream of helping children hadn’t died when I’d filed my withdrawal papers. Now I was blessed with a little girl who needed a family and a new start, and I wouldn’t let her down. I’d die before ever letting anything bad happen to her again.
“Do you think my mom knows I found Uncle Ryder?” Emy’s hug eased while my heart constricted, and I squatted down and clasped her hands gently in my own.
For a moment, I looked at the clear night sky, absorbing the crispness of winter that seeped through the heated bubble around us as I contemplated her question.
Her green eyes blinked at me when I gazed down into her sweet face. “I like to think our moms are looking down on us from wherever they are, watching over us.”
Emy cocked her head to the side. “Like angels?”
“Perhaps.” I smiled softly, hoping I wasn’t explaining things that were beyond the comprehension level of a six-year-old, but Emy was perceptive and had been through more than most children combined in her short life, much like I’d been.
“Sometimes I think my mom’s spirit is in the cool breeze of autumn, the pinkest flowers in summer, or the sparkling snowflakes that fall around me in the winter. I think she’s always nearby, watching over me.” I tucked Emy’s blonde curls behind her ear. “And your mom is too.”
Emersyn looked around, taking in the sparkling snow and the pure white clouds above as the lightest wind ruffled her hair.
“I like that,” she whispered. Her smile warmed me from the inside out, and I squeezed her hands.
“Good. Me too.”
“I don’t remember a lot, but I remember my mom loved Uncle Ry Ry a whole bunch.” She motioned with our clasped hands, making them wider and wider until I almost lost my balance and fell to the cold ground.