Silence descended – an eerie stillness punctuated only by the roar of the ocean beyond the trees and the sound of the god hissing in my ear.
“I know you’re out there, Hazel Waite,” the Deadmistress called into the trees, where the students cowered. “You and I have unfinished business.”
Chapter Four
Trey, Quinn and I spent the night in the mouth of the cave where they’d first hidden me from Ms. West at the end of first quarter. We leaned against cold stone, just far enough back to be hidden from view, but with a clear line of sight, and huddled together for warmth. Quinn still refused to touch me, so Trey had to act as the middle of our sandwich, smothering my body in his as much as possible.
All around us in the woods, students whispered and shuffled and sobbed, moving in their hiding places to huddle in small groups. In the bitter-cold night, the truths I’d laid down in the auditorium burrowed into their psyche and took root. Spending the night cold and uncomfortable in the woods did more to alter their minds than I could have ever achieved on my own.
Sleep eluded me. I reached out with my mind, trying to touch the god, but he’d gone quiet, as if joining with me and raising that pillar had sent him into a slumber of his own. That was annoying. I had so many questions – I desperately needed his confusing non-answers. I tried to summon the shadows to look in on Ayaz, but since they were part of the god they too were silent.
When the first light of morning crept through the trees, I shook Trey awake. “Get up. I want to be back at school before the teachers start—”
He shook his head. “You should be in Mexico by now, not here where both West and my father have seen you. I’ll walk you down to Arkham. Deborah can take you to an airport and—”
“Not happening. I’m not leaving Ayaz, and I’m also not going to ditch you with that weird pillar thing.” I brushed cave mud off my clothes, trying to ignore the cold that seeped into my bones. I desperately needed sleep and warmth and a safe place to think, but I’d be 0-for-3 where I was going. “C’mon, we don’t want to miss breakfast.”
“Quinn.” Trey poked him in the side. “Wake up and help me talk some sense into our girl.”
“Noooo…” Quinn mumbled in his sleep, gripping Trey’s sleeve like it was his lifeline. “Please, don’t burn Ayaz… he’s my friend… and I don’t have friends…”
His words sent a jolt of cold through my already freezing body. He’s talking to me. He’s begging me for his friend’s life.
I’m a monster.
“Quinn.” Trey landed a kick in his side. Quinn bolted upright, his eyes darting around, searching for something familiar. When he saw me, he slunk away, although he tried to hide it with a half-assed stretch.
“I was having a nightmare.” He ran his hand through his sandy hair, averting his eyes to the cave wall. With grey light dripping through the entrance, I could just make out the edges of the cave-in that Ms. West had used to trap Zehra.
“It’s not over yet.” Trey hauled him to his feet. “Hazel wants to go back to school.”
“Huh?” Quinn rubbed his eyes. “That’s one of her most insane suggestions. And she’s set a high bar.”
“We have to.” I rubbed my arms. I was still wearing the dress from last night, although now it was torn and dirty and bloody and the hem had been singed. Trey had loaned me his jacket, but it did little to hold off the chill now I didn’t have his body heat. “Ayaz is there, and Greg and Zehra. And let’s not forget the black phallus that so rudely interrupted our little performance.”
Quinn shuddered, whether from my presence or the memory of the pillar I couldn’t tell, and I didn’t want to ask for fear of the answer. “Why did you raise that thing? Everyone was already terrified. They’ll be too scared to go back to school.”
I snorted. “Don’t make the mistake of imprinting your fear onto them. One night sleeping rough under the stars and the Miskatonic students will be gagging to return to their espresso machines and 400-count Egyptian sheets and solid gold vibrators. They don’t know Trey’s secret about moving the boundary sigils, so they don’t have any other choice but to go back. As for the pillar, I have no idea what it is or how I made it rise. But the god said he’d help us, and I have to believe it might be his contribution. It’s worth investigating.” I narrowed my eyes at Quinn. “If you don’t want to come with me, that’s fine. Courtney’s here in the woods, and I’m sure she’ll need comfort.”
“I’m coming with you.” Quinn’s voice was dark.
“Really? Because I need people who will have my back, and right now you’re afraid to touch me.”
And I don’t blame you.
Quinn whipped his head around. His eyes fixed on mine, and my breath caught in my throat. To see the broken edges of him, the battle he waged inside himself between the person he believed I was and the evil he’d seen me do, tore me apart as it was tearing him. “I’m with you, Hazy.”
“Okay then.” I sucked in air through my teeth. Quinn needed time and space, and I could offer neither. It occurred to me that it was easier this way, that if Quinn was afraid of me, he would not mourn me when I become the god’s companion. I made a deal with the god, and with myself. Free the Kings of Miskatonic Prep at whatever cost. In order to free them, I had to let them go, and that would be much easier if they didn’t cling to false hopes about what we could have together. My crimes gave me the perfect reason to pull away from all the Kings, to let them take their freedom, even if broke me utterly.
No one mourns a murderer.
Trey stepped between Quinn and I, breaking the spell that kept me suspended on the edge of pushing him away. He pressed his chest against mine. “If we’re gonna go, we should go now, before the sun is too high. We should make sure it’s safe for everyone to return.”
There Trey went again, thinking like a leader, making sure he was the first one to storm the castle gates.
As we picked our way down to the pleasure garden, I felt the prickle of eyes on me. Students in the trees and sleeping under bushes. When we descended the steps, a shadowy figure darted from beneath the rotunda to hide behind the grotto.
I crouched low and shuffled along our secret tunnel, one hand in front of me, guiding the fire that would light our way. Quinn hung way back, and even Trey drew ragged breaths, as though being in the confined space with the flame made him anxious. Because of course it would. No matter how much Trey said he didn’t care what I’d done, he couldn’t quash the fear that had rooted itself in his bones to see me wielding my fire, to know I’d used that fire to take life.
But they followed my light despite their fear, and that meant everything to me.
I stepped out of the tunnel into the storage room, listening hard. The school was silent. A faint scritch-scritch-scritch circled overhead. My rats, welcoming me home.
I swung my flame toward the door. The light caught a message scrawled across the wall.
AYAZ IS SAFE. IN INFIRMARY.
– LORETTA
I knew we should move cautiously, that the teachers were still here, lying in wait for me, that we should check every room methodically. But one thought ran through my head, over and over, driving out all rational sense.