“Hmm. I sensed perhaps that you’re a little intimidated by Rain.”
How does he know these things!
“Just between you and me,” I whispered conspiratorially, “she is just a tiny bit frightening. Don’t you think she looks like one of those Japanese anime succubus characters? Or some kind of tentacle-haired alien? She’s so…creepy.”
A silent rumble of laughter shook through the General’s body, and my heart soared inexplicably at giving him joy.
“Behave yourself,” he admonished with a straight face, though the corner of his lips still twitched. “Here she comes.”
“Good afternoon, Tal,” the Healer greeted graciously, her manners always exquisite.
She turned and smiled at me. “Good afternoon, Inanna. I am glad you are able to accompany your father, though I must say I am surprised that Tal allows it. He never has before.”
Truly? I peered at the General and blinked with surprise myself. Why wouldn’t he want his family around him for support? If I had a family, I think I’d want that. But what do I know?
And then, I understood immediately, intuitively.
Tal-Telal is the sort of male who always carries his burdens alone. It’s his way of protecting others, even if it cost himself dearly.
As if he felt my gaze on him, he turned his face slightly away, giving me the determined, steely cut of his profile, his jaw clenching almost imperceptibly.
“Thank you for letting me come with you, papa,” I whispered so that only he could hear.
At first, I thought he’d ignore my words. But he surprised me again.
“Sometimes, it’s good to share our pain, child,” he rumbled in that husky, raspy deep voice. “It’s never easy, but…I’m beginning to learn how to heal.”
My eyes pooled with tears unbidden, and I blinked rapidly to disperse them. It must be Inanna’s form—this blasted female form—it must be the hormones acting up in this body that wasn’t mine. That’s what I blamed for the stupid water in my eyes.
“Come sit down,” Rain directed with a sweep of her arm, indicating the flat padded surface of the types of beds you see in hospitals, except much more spacious and comfortable looking.
“Please remove your clothes.”
The General stripped almost entirely naked but for black briefs and sat on the table. The Healer efficiently went about routine checks with various modern medical instruments while I stood to the side watching silently, my heart throbbing painfully in my chest.
Gods! The scars on this male’s body.
I’d seen it all before, but never this closely. And the last time that I did, I hadn’t felt this way. I’d watched Ishtar Anshar, my Mistress’s sister, almost kill Medusa after she tortured the General again, the way she always tortured him, right before Ishtar’s very eyes. I saw it all.
But back then, I only watched with morbid curiosity. The male was nothing to me. I didn’t give a fuck.
Now…
I’ve never seen an immortal as scarred as he is.
Though his skin was mostly smooth, there were still some raised ridges and craters, from the deepest, most persistent wounds that the Mistress must have carved into his body repeatedly over endless hours, days and years. The somewhat lesser wounds (and by that I mean the ones that were only repeated a few thousand times instead of a few hundred thousand times) had faded to blue, purple, green and black lines and bruises, as if he’d been drawn on with light-colored markers.
His body was leanly muscular, but not a leanness with youthful bounce like all other immortals no matter their age. There’s no give in his steel-like muscles and the paper-thin skin that wrapped over his body. He seemed at once indestructible and incredibly fragile, his blind eyes downcast, a muscle in his jaw ticking.
He hated this, I knew. Hated that anyone saw him like this, even the Healer, and now me. I didn’t know how I knew, maybe because I have scars too, though they’re less visible than his.
For some stupid reason, I blurted, “I can’t decide if you look like a Jackson Pollock painting or one of Benji’s scribbles.”
Startled, both Rain and the General looked at me.
I cocked my head a bit and made a point of scrutinizing Tal Telal’s body thoughtfully.
“There’s a certain symmetry as well as randomness in the lines. It’s actually quite…beautiful, despite the ugliness that created them. When I look at you, I see colors, and the world pales to gray. You’re a work of art, papa.”
I looked back into his cloudy turquoise eyes, holding my breath for his reaction, fearful that I’d gone too far.
For an eternity of heartbeats, the silence in the chamber deafened. Even Rain had frozen, her eyes round with doubt and worry.
I take it no one had spoken of his scars in such a flippant manner before, making light of something indescribably dark and awful. Every scar pulsed with the memory of the excruciating agony he endured, obscene and unending. And yet, they were also a physical testament to his unconquerable, awe-inspiring strength.
And then I saw it: a corner of his mouth slowly curved up in that gorgeous, heart-palpitating squirk.
Holy gods, how I love this heroic male with all my twisted, black heart!
Chapter Two: It’s Time That I Told You
*TAL*
When I look at you, I see colors…
How could such simple words have such a powerful impact?
For the first time since I’d…acquired these scars, I didn’t feel shame at the weight of another’s eyes. Even Ishtar, my Mate, my love, hadn’t been able to fill me with such light.
But his words—my binu’s words—they lifted my soul, just as easily as his irreverent humor lifted my mouth in a curve that showed I still knew how to smile. Even though I feared I’d forgotten long ago.
“Your outer scars, what is the level of pain from one to ten?” the Healer asked softly, her hands barely glancing across my skin as she diligently conducted her assessment.
“Five,” I answered, though it was closer to seven on my own internal scale. But I was used to it. I was able to ignore the pulsing pain beneath my skin most of the time.
“That’s two points better than when you joined us a few weeks ago,” Rain mused, a note of cautious optimism in her voice, as well as skepticism. “I hope you’re not underestimating just to shorten this visit, warrior.”
I didn’t respond. I was often guilty of underestimating, “downplaying,” as modern humans would say, but I was mostly telling the truth this time. I didn’t want to lie in front of my son. I wanted to set an example for him. I wanted him to trust enough to share his pain as well.
Yes, I know he’s my son. I’ve known it for a while now, even before Rain performed the human test to match our “DNA.”
When he first came to my Mate’s shop, Dark Dreams, I had known immediately that he was special.
Because I am blind, everyone assumes I can’t see. In turn, they often don’t see me.
I was able to observe him from a distance; he barely took notice of me, his focus on the shining light of my Mate. I certainly understood the attraction.
She is Ishtar Anshar, after all, heaven’s brightest star.
I didn’t know then who he was to me, but I was intrigued. And when he came back in a different form, according to those with seeing eyes, I could tell he was the same person inside. I could feel the same resonance of his soul reaching out to mine.