“I’ve noticed that.” I did my best to keep my voice even and not sounding as sarcastic as the duh I was thinking.
“Well.” She paused. I waited. “You wouldn’t want to offend them.”
I would’ve bet my guest cottage that only appears when I need it that neither Lochlan nor Ivy would be offended. They might even be complimented.
“Okay then. Just to be sure, I’ll ask Lochlan.”
With a single jerk of a nod, she pinched a corner of the paper between two fingers and pulled the dress photo from my grasp. “I can give you the look of this dress, but instead of beads and sequins, I’ll use black silk shantung for the background and weave the pattern with gold metallic thread.”
I almost gasped out loud. “OMGs, Esme! That sounds incredible!”
“Unlike this…” she glanced at the photo with a hint of disgust, “it will be comfortable and lightweight. The dress in this photo would weigh so much you wouldn’t be able to climb the stairs without assistance.”
“You’re a genius.”
On impulse, I grabbed Esmerelda and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She froze, wide-eyed, looking so stunned that my evil twin made a mental note to do it often.
“And it will fit me like it was made for me.”
Her surprised expression instantly transformed into her usual surliness that warned of snark incoming. I braced.
“No. It won’t fit like it was made for you. It will be made for you.”
“Well, you know what I mean.” I was elated and excited and choosing to focus on that. “So how long do you need?”
“When do you want it?”
I gasped out loud. “Shoes!” I tried to slow my breathing so that I wouldn’t hyperventilate. “Good golly, Miss Molly. I thought of everything else. Gloves. Shawl. Long crystal beads. You know, like they wore back then. I even ordered a glamorous, long cigarette holder and some of those little thin black cigarettes.”
Esmerelda cocked her head. “You smoke?”
“What? No. It’s pretend, to complete the look. The point is, HOW COULD I POSSIBLY FORGET SHOES?”
“I don’t know,” she said, as if that was not a rhetorical question. “But I do know I’m not Molly.”
“What?”
“You called me Molly.”
“No, I…” Pause. Slow down. Gather composure. There are still shoes for sale in the world and, even if there weren’t, there’s a nasty little booger of a bootmaker three doors down. “It’s a song. Little Richard I think.”
“Little Richard? He’s a dwarf? Or goblin? Is that name a slur?”
“Esme. Have you always been so uber politically correct?” I shook my head. “Never mind. He’s departed. But when he was alive, he wasn’t magic kind. He wasn’t even little.”
“Then why…?”
Exasperated and ready to steer the conversation in another direction, I said, “Maybe he started in show business when he was a kid. I don’t know. Like Little Stevie Wonder became Stevie Wonder only Little Richard never…” I trailed off. “We’ve wandered far, far off track. You asked when I want the dress. I’m American which means the answer to that question is always now. I trust you enough that I could get it an hour before the party. But I’d love to have it a week ahead?”
“It will cost you a rush fee.”
“I’m good with that as long as we’re talking pounds sterling and not years off my life or something of the sort.”
Esmerelda looked at me as if she thought I was a walking science exhibit. “Where do you get such ideas?”
“Fairy tales.”
“Um. Um. Um,” she said in three descending tones.
“So. If you don’t need anything else?”
“That will do.”
“Thanks, Esme. You’re a marvel.”
“Exactly.”
I’d told Esme that I would check with Lochlan and Ivy about the ears, but I felt certain they wouldn’t be offended. And, since I was walking right by The Braid, I stopped in.
“Bray!” I called out.
He appeared immediately with a huge grin on his affable face. “My favorite judge!”
“My favorite smith!” I responded in kind.
“You came to insist I come to lunch? And you’re in luck. I am free today.”
Lunch was, in fact, full up, but I how could I say no? What I could do is eat on a stool at the island instead of at the round table. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Yes. We’re having teriyaki stir fry.”
“I’m in!” he said.
“And since I’m here anyway…”
“Oh. Business! I’m all ears.” Braden loved that joke and used it often. He didn’t have pointy ears, but he did have huge ears that were made to seem even bigger by his diminutive stature. I’d learned it’s a characteristic of dwarves. Bradesford, his uncle, had kept his covered up with thick hair worn shoulder-length. Braden had no ear issues.
I whipped out the photo. “I want some of these and I want them to fit my ears comfortably and stay in place.”
He studied the photo and looked up, through his lashes, without moving his head. “The party.”
“Right.”
“I can do this. They will fit your ears. They will cost a lot. You will love them.”
“Shave a little off in exchange for a free lunch?”
He laughed. “Done.”
“Oops. Never mind. Forget I said that. It might be interpreted as bribery instead of barter. Which is what it would be. Barter, I mean. But regardless, we’re not doing that. I’m paying full price.”
“Of course.” He nodded.
“So. See you at twelve.” I stopped midway through my turn to leave. “Braden. You don’t think Lochlan or Ivy would be offended by this, do you?”
His smile dropped. “Why? Did they want to come to lunch?”
I smiled. “Probably. But I was talking about the elven ears?”
I could tell by his blank look that it took a minute for him to understand the reference. “You mean because they have pointy ears?”
“Yes. Esmerelda thought they might be offended.”
“Pshhhhhh. Silly as a sloth in a spider’s web.” Okaaaaay. “I think it’s just the opposite. Everybody wants those ears.”
“That’s what I thought!”
“If anything, they’ll be flattered.”
“That’s what I thought! But it’s a relief to get a second opinion. When will they be ready?”
“When do you want them?”
“What are you wearing?”
“Monkey suit. Bren calls it black tie.”
Bren was short for Brendolyn, Braden’s fiancé.
“When are you two going to…”
“Tie the knot?”
“Yeah.”
“Beltane. You’re invited.”
“Thanks very much. Nothing could keep me away.” I was amazed at the capacity of women, even those who’d been used and abused, to still believe in true love.
He chuckled.
“What?”