I rolled my head against the back of the tub and closed my eyes. There was moisture on my cheeks, but I couldn't tell if it was from the tub or my tears. "It's going to be so hard tonight, Bisa. Broskow is already riling people up and it's not even noon yet."
I heard her footsteps approach before I opened my eyes to see her sitting down on the edge of the tub. She reached out and rubbed my shoulder, as though trying to massage away any memory of Broskow.
"It'll be okay, you hear me? You have friends. We'll help you out."
I nodded, suddenly unable to speak and averted my eyes.
"No, don't you look away from me." She took my chin and I looked up to her, this time feeling the hot tears spill down my cheeks. "I love you and I refuse to lose you over this stupidity, do you hear me? If you let them beat you now, then you won't have a chance tonight. You have to be strong for me, Dahlia."
I sniffed and nodded. "Mr. Eddington thinks I'm strong enough, but I don't know if I am."
She returned to massaging my shoulder, my arm, and finally settled on rubbing the back of my neck.
"I hate The Seeking," she said. "I hate that you have to deal with it year after year. It's barbaric.” She huffed. “I've never met a Gray Person mind you but they must be monsters to require it."
"Don't say that," I said, my voice coming out weaker than I'd like. "They can hear you. The Gray People hear all, or so they say."
"I don't care if they do! They know we suffer, and they don't give a damn. Sometimes I wonder if their so-called protection is really worth it."
I was quiet. I knew where this conversation was going; I had heard it many times before. Bisa was thinking of her father, who died when Marcus was born.
"What's the point of their help if it comes at such a cruel cost? It's not even reliable either! My dad never went over that Boundary Line, but he was still killed. He was drunk, sure, but his son was just born. He had a good reason to celebrate. He stepped outside to get some fresh air and he never came back.” She took a shaky breath. “I still remember staring out that damn window, shivering in the cold, and waiting for him to return. There wasn't a single Gray Person around to help him. What’s the point of The Seeking if they choose not to help us? We're animals trapped in a cage," she growled, climbing to her feet. "We're making the best of it, but we all know that’s what it is."
"Don't think such dark thoughts. I need you to be strong, too."
She gave me a sad smile. "I know. It's just hard."
I reached up and grabbed her hand with my wrinkled fingers, her russet brown skin just a few shades lighter than mine. People who looked like us made up about half of Carra, but sometimes if felt like less on The Seeking. "That's why we have each other. We’re stronger together, you and I."
She smiled then and kissed the top of my hand, her lips soft and cool. "You and Marcus are the only reasons I'll survive this ugly place." I frowned, unsure of what to say, but she let go and walked to the door. "I'll let you relax a bit then come check on you."
"I love you," I whispered not really wanting her to leave. I knew too well the long day ahead of me and how much I would miss her warmth, her smile, her presence.
She kissed her fingers then held them up to me as she shut the door.
2
The Gray People
I was a child again, curled up in the chilly bedroom of my youth. It used to be my big brother's room, but once he moved out, it became mine.
It always felt empty and barren, even with friends over. I didn't have enough to make the walls not echo: just my bed, a chest of drawers, and a small bookshelf. I was happy to not be sharing a room with my younger brother, Dameon, though, so I tried to make the most of it.
I shivered despite the four blankets stacked on top of me. The shutters never closed right, always letting in the cold night air.
Through the crack in the shutters, I saw movement: a pale body amid the dark trees, gleaming in the light of a full moon. It was one of the Gray People. They were patrolling the Boundary Line, I told myself. They were making sure the monsters wouldn't get me.
The pale body appeared again through the crack in the shutters. I held my breath. It was watching me.
She was a woman with dark hair and eyes like pits. Her skin gleamed the grayish blue of her kind, the color of a birch tree in the light of a full moon. Fear crept into my veins, but then I thought of Grandma's dry laughter and reassurance.
"There's nothing to fear from them," she had said as her face crinkled into a smile. "They're our protectors. Anytime you see one, know that you're a little safer than you were before."
Still, I couldn't deny the fear I felt as I stared into this Gray Person’s empty eyes, only for her to vanish when I blinked.
I don't know why, but I needed to see where she went. I needed to see if she was still outside.
Climbing out of bed, I threw off all my blankets and shivered when my feet hit the cold wood of the floor. But still, I wrapped my arms around my stomach and padded over to the window.
The cold wind howled, whistling through the gap in the shutters. I looked around, but all I saw were the shadows of the forest in the distance. I decided to try closing the shutters once more and reached out for the latch that was hanging on the inside.
Something cold and gray touched my hand instead. I gasped and dropped to the floor, backing into the corner of the room near the window’s ledge.
The shutter pulled fully open, the hinges squeaking against the wind’s resistance, and the Gray Woman leaned her head inside.
Her neck was long, and her black hair hung around her face. Her hands clutched the windowsill like spider legs. She turned to look at me, her expression stony and emotionless, and I saw that her eyes were actually empty sockets.
Then she smiled.
It was such a cruel thing that it terrified me.
She reached a bony hand in through the window, her fingers tipped with long, black talons.
I buried my face into the lace of my nightgown as I heard one bare foot hit the floorboard, then another. My heart was pounding in my temples.
Maybe Grandma was wrong, I thought to myself. Maybe they aren't really our protectors.
It grabbed hold of my shoulder, its fingers like dead, rotten wood left out in the snow. I felt cold breath on my ear as it hissed in a raspy voice, "Dahlia...Dahlia, time to wake up."
I woke with a gasp and nearly sank underwater in the tub.
Bisa was stroking my hair, saying soothingly, "It's okay! It was just a dream."
I stared at her for a long moment as the cold shivers from my dream faded. The water in the tub was cold, but I was covered in a sheen of sweat.
"Sugar, are you alright?" Bisa asked with concern.
I shook my head, the memory of my bedroom still bleeding into my vision. "The Gray People." That's all I could say at first, but Bisa was patient with me like always and waited. "I always seem to dream about them when The Seeking comes, but this wasn't just a dream. This happened."
Bisa narrowed her eyes and soon the scene spilled out between my rambling lips. When I described the woman with the long black hair crawling in through my window, she pursed her lips.