I look back at the blond behind the counter, doing everything I can with my eyes to let him know I pour drinks as well and that he’d better show me the respect I’d show him if he popped into Morgan’s. That’ll never happen, but still.
“Dealer’s choice,” I say, putting the ball in his court.
He smiles and quickly fills two rocks glasses with crushed ice, then mixes some dark liqueur with club soda and a splash of blue curacao.
“That’s a Hellfire, a la Anders.” He gives a little bow, making it clear who Anders is, then quickly ducks away to tend to someone else. I turn to Leo, sucking in my breath as our eyes meet, overcome with a year’s worth of pent up passion and longing.
“Where have you been?” I ask. “I can hardly sense you anymore.”
He lowers his gaze and takes a sip of his drink. It’s the look I’d expect to get from a man saying he’d met someone else, but I know that’s not what’s coming. Not tonight. Not from my beautiful ghost.
“In a way, it’s your doing,” he says with the slightest smile. I grab my drink and down half of it, immediately regretting the decision because of the brain freeze and the less-than ladylike demeanor.
“Before I met you, I never knew peace,” Leo says, his smile turning serious. “I led a life of trial and tribulation, and my death was much the same.”
I want to ask every question about his life, but I can’t help posing the one query that brings it back to me. “Why didn’t you tell me… you know…”
“About the color of my skin?”
“Or just about your family, your life before the war. I have so many questions.”
Leo takes my hand, trying to put me at peace. It works pretty well.
“I was a spirit in your friend's bar. I never imagined we’d fall in love. I knew we’d never meet face to face. And…” he pauses again to drink his cocktail nearly as fast as I drank mine. “I lived in a time when a love like ours would have us both killed.”
It’s the most difficult thing to hear. I squeeze his hand way too hard, probably hurting his knuckles, before bringing his palm up and clasp it against my face.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m sorry that’s a thought you ever had to think.”
He looks back at me fiercely, overcome with whatever he’s about to say.
“I would relive every minute of my life a thousand times if it meant I got to spend even one night with you.”
There’s no way to respond to that, so I try to drink but end up choking on my Hellfire because of the lump in my throat. Leo does the same thing, and we spend a few seconds coughing, laughing, and enjoying the nearness of each other’s bodies.
Leo finally clears his throat and picks up where we’d left off. “After dying in battle, I wavered between here and the afterlife. I couldn’t move on. Everything I fought for still hung--still hangs--in the balance. I never found peace. I’m sure I never would have, but then I met you.”
I’m struck by his words but unable to see what he means. “What did that change?”
“Everything,” he says flatly. “But most of all, I found solace. I found comfort in your heart and a place to rest in your soul. That happiness shrouded me in a warm light, which I only recently realized was…”
He trails off, but I know what he’s saying. He found the peace he needed to walk into the light. To leave this world forever and find eternal rest.
The only reason we’ve grown apart in the last few months is that I’ve given him what he’s always searched for. Peace enough to pass on.
“Then, why are you here?”
He shakes his head, looking about as confused as I am. “I think… I think for the same reasons that I couldn’t leave. While you gave me the tranquility to move on, I could never leave a world where you resided.”
We stare into each other’s eyes, finding the most profound meaning and truth within this gaze. We’ve both set each other free and trapped one another at the same time.
“One moment, I was drifting along the edge of the white light--resisting its pull even as I knew it was inevitable, and the next, I was standing a foot away from you. Within reach of that which bound me.”
It’s too much. My heart’s going to explode. I want him to tell me more about our love and importance and everything else, but if he does I’ll simply die and won’t be able to enjoy it any longer. Time for a classic, nervous-AJ subject change.
“So you died in the war…” I start a sentence, hoping it will be enough for him to pick up where I left and carry on. As expected, my ghostly love doesn’t disappoint.
“Yes, as a soldier. I escaped a plantation in Virginia with a dozen other slaves and made my way north. We joined the 54th Massachusetts Infantry. A few months later, the small amount of magic in my blood could not save me when I met the wrong end of a bayonet.”
He recites all of this like he’s filling in the blanks on his resume, but I can only imagine what’s going on in his mind. What his life--and death--must have been like. Sitting next to this man has me feeling very lightheaded, and I know it’s not from the Hellfire I’m drinking. I’ve got a million questions to ask, but the idea of asking any overwhelms me.
I don’t have the time.
Somehow, the myriad of thoughts running through my head become an easy-to-read look on my face, and Leo puts his hand on my thigh.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, leaning close enough for me to take in his intoxicating scent of sandalwood, patchouli, and rosewood. “We have all night.”
His words are sweet and devastating at the same time. I try to keep my emotions in check as Anders comes over and starts mixing another round of drinks.
“Only tonight, though?” I ask like he might have an answer, but I think Leo’s as mystified as I am. He looks down at his hands, turning them over, amazed they aren’t transparent. When he lifts his gaze, there’s a heaviness in his eyes.
“I don’t know. I’m worried if I hope for more than one night, my heart will be too broken.”
“You could pass on to the other side,” I say, trying to offer comfort I absolutely don’t want to give. Leo doesn’t take the bait.
“No. Now that I’m with you, I’ll never be able to leave. Even if it means haunting this realm for eternity with no body to anchor me.”
I’m already feeling the despair settle in. We’ve been with each other for mere minutes, and the idea of this moment ending is too much to bear. Like his, my heart may not survive only one night with him. It might break so badly it can never be put back together again.
“Sorry to eavesdrop,” Anders says as he passes us fresh drinks. “But that’s what we bartenders do.”
I’m not mad at all because he’s not wrong.
“Anyway,” he says, looking at Leo with a little intrigue, “you’re a ghost but a guest of The Ball?”
Leo nods. So do I. What’s this fella getting at?
“Wild. All of the invitees are supernatural folk, and the ghosts are just enjoying the night by proxy. I’m a reaper, so I’m in charge of corralling them all at the end of the night.”
The gears in my head are a little slow to turn, but when they do, my eyes go wide.