Colt let the shallow small talk persist until they had their food and drinks. Just when he thought he’d found a decent opener, Jason leaned in and eyed Colt’s steak. “That thing is so rare it looks like it could still moo.”
Colt impaled a bloody hunk on his fork and popped it into his mouth. “Just the way I like it.” He felt an immediate surge of energy and hadn’t realized how hungry he’d been.
Jason gave him a half-hearted scowl. He knew his efforts to guilt or gross Colt into a more humane diet were futile, but it had become part of their repartee. “So, tell me. How does it feel to be alive for a quarter of a century?”
“Considering I could’ve been twenty-five for a few months without knowing the difference, it feels pretty much the same as twenty-four.”
Colt immediately regretted the joke when he saw the somber look on Jason’s face. If there was one thing they didn’t share, it was Colt’s macabre sense of humor.
“I know you don’t like to talk about your parents, but I still have that friend down at the station. If you ever decide you want to try finding answers again…”
“I have parents,” Colt said firmly. “Matter of fact, I’ve had several sets, and Renee and Gerald Jager are a hell of a lot better than whatever assholes abandoned me.”
“You don’t know they did,” said Jason. “You were alone, but you were obviously cared for. The police report stated they didn’t think you’d been neglected.”
Colt’s eyes narrowed. Normally he didn’t mind Jason’s misguided attempts to be helpful, but he was already in a shitty mood, considering what day it was, and it was getting worse by the minute. “You dug up that old police report?”
Jason’s gaze flickered down to the napkin he’d already half-shredded. “It’s just, I have access to the cold cases now because of my internship, and I thought maybe I could find something. Something they missed.”
Colt set his jaw and let his breath out slowly through his mouth. It was the one useful thing he’d taken away from his time in therapy. “I thought I asked you to drop it last time.”
“You did, but--”
“There’s no but. This isn’t a debate for you to argue and poke holes in,” Colt interrupted. He cleared his throat when his words came out far harsher than he’d meant them to, but his voice still sounded like gravel. “We go through this every year. I don’t care who my birth parents are or what their excuse was for ditching me, and you getting more details from a police report doesn’t change that.”
“But what if you’re wrong about what happened?” Jason pressed. “What if it wasn’t their choice? They could still be out there somewhere, wondering where you are. I know you wonder about them, too, even if you don’t want to admit it. Some kids are given up because their parents—their birth parents—thought it was best for them, not because they weren’t wanted.”
“I told you. I don’t care,” Colt said through gritted teeth.
“Yes, you do.” Usually, this was the point where Jason backed off, but Colt could tell from the look in his eyes that wasn’t going to happen tonight. The fire in them was at once infuriating and arousing. “Every year, you get like this. If you didn’t care, your birthday wouldn’t have such an effect on you.”
“Get like what?”
“Angry. Sullen. Withdrawn,” Jason said it like he was listing the symptoms in some diagnostic manual. That was what pissed Colt off the most. The fact that Jason saw him as something to be analyzed and fixed. Optimized. “I know you’re afraid of what the answers might be if you start asking questions, but not knowing is hurting you so much more.”
“Enough,” Colt growled. Without meaning to, he’d slammed his fist on the table and Jason jumped. The couple at the next table cast them a curious glance and Colt turned toward the window, willing his anger away.
He wasn’t usually this touchy. Maybe Jason was onto something about his birthday funk after all. “I’m sorry,” he said in a more measured tone. “I just hate when you do this.”
Jason frowned. “Do what? Bring up your parents?”
“Not just that. When you treat me like one of your mock cases,” Colt muttered. He’d spent hours listening to Jason rehearse his arguments for his classes, and while he’d always loved watching the change that came over the usually easygoing man when he was in piranha mode, he didn’t like being the object of his lawyering “You want everyone to have a clean-cut motive. Every action, every move someone makes has to have a motivation you can explain, but sometimes you want to see it so badly that you invent shit that just isn’t there. Not when it comes to me.”
“I’m just trying to help, Colt.” His tone softened and his eyes took on that sad-puppy-dog quality that made Colt want to do whatever was necessary to make him happy again. “You haven’t been yourself for months.”
Colt sighed, reaching across the table to take Jason’s hand. “I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s been a long day. We’re behind schedule at the site, this other company keeps hounding me about taking a job, and the lumber I ordered last week still hasn’t come in.” He paused when he realized Jason’s eyes were glazing over the same way Colt’s always did when the other man started speaking legalese. “Long story short, it’s been a week from hell.”
“What other company?” Jason asked suddenly.
“Bracher Construction,” Colt said, taking a sip of his beer.
“Oh, I’ve heard of them,” said Jason. “They built the building my dad moved his practice to last year.”
“Yeah, they’re everywhere.”
“What do they want with you?”
“Just a job offer,” Colt mumbled. Now he almost wished they were still talking about his biological parents. At least that didn’t make him anxious, just pissed.
“A job?” Jason’s eyes lit up. “They’re scouting you? For what?”
“Foreman,” he admitted grudgingly.
“What? Colt! That’s amazing,” Jason said, leaning in excitedly. It was never good when his eyes had that much light in them. Jason may have fancied himself the rebel son of the Jones family because he’d chosen to pursue a slightly less lucrative field of study than his father, but they clearly shared an obsession with motivational speakers and upward mobility.
Jason paused suddenly, studying Colt’s face when he realized it didn’t mirror his own enthusiasm. “You are going to take it, right?”
“I told Bracher I’d think about it, but…” Colt shrugged, suddenly disinterested in the rest of his meal. He’d already finished his steak, but the food quality in the place was slipping.
“What’s there to think about?” Jason laughed. “It’s a promotion. A huge one.”
“It’d be a promotion if it came from my current employer. This would be jumping ship, and I have a good crew.”
Jason sighed and gave him a half-pitying, half-adoring smile. “Colt, I know how loyal you are to Chuck, but there’s no room for advancement as long as you stay under him. Besides, I’m sure he’d understand and be happy for you. He didn’t get his job by staying where he was.”