He let a louder moan fall from his mouth, stepping back from me.
“You are killing me.” He gripped my arms like he was trying to keep me away from him. “You don’t know how bad I want to do that.”
Another sliver of ice stabbed at a warning bell.
“I’m leaving tonight. Actually, in a few hours.” He glanced over at Dalton, who pretended not to hear or see us, but peered down at his watch, checking the time.
“What?” I broke free of his hold, backpedaling. “You are leaving tonight? Holy shite, Theo.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“What were you going to do? Kiss me at the end of the night, say I’ll see you in September, get in the car, and drive off?”
“No.” He scoured his forehead.
“Yes.” My hands went to my hips. “That’s exactly how it was going to go.”
“I wanted to have a good night with you. And I knew if I told you, it would lead to a fight or be hanging over us.”
“I’m not fighting with you because you are leaving. I understand you have royal duties. It’s the not-telling-me part. You’re being a coward because you didn’t want to face me. To stand up and be a man.”
He dropped his hand down as I started to move, my anger bustling at my nerves. Dalton covered his mouth like he was coughing, but I could see a smile glinting behind his hand, trying hard not to laugh. He seemed to be enjoying someone taking the prince down a peg.
“You can handle standing in front of millions making speeches, or dealing with heads of state, but not telling your girlfriend you’re leaving for four months?”
“They don’t scare me.” The side of his mouth hitched up. “You do.”
Exhaling, I knew I was more hurt than angry.
“Let’s just go back in and enjoy the last bit of time we have.” He lifted his shoulder toward the entrance. Groups were coming in and out of the local pub, full of exuberance, a feeling I no longer felt or could even fake.
“I’m going to head back.” I bit down on my lip.
“No.” Theo reached for me. “That’s exactly what I didn’t want. Don’t go.”
“Let me know when you get back. We can talk then.”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“Probably never happened before, huh?”
He looked astounded, an animal caught in headlights. “No.”
“It’s not really breaking up as using this time to really figure out what we want.” I tucked my arms deep into my stomach, knowing if I let him touch me, I’d probably change my mind. “We are no longer in school. Your life will be changing. A lot. Duties and obligations will double. You might find you don’t have room for me.” I held up my hand, seeing his mouth part to interrupt me. “I want more than that. More than penciled-in dates on your royal calendar. There is a reason you didn’t want to tell me. You need to figure out why.” I gulped, feeling the tears burn the back of my throat. We had never officially said how we felt, but I couldn’t deny what had grown over the last few months. “I love you, Theo. But I’m not going to be a last-minute thought.”
“You’re not,” he whispered.
“Yeah. I am.” My hand pressed into my ribs as if they were cracking, and I stepped back.
“You can’t just say that to me and leave.” He countered my movement.
“I did, and I am.”
“Wait.” His shoes hit mine, his fingers clasping the sides of my face. Liquid filled my eyes at his touch, pain tearing at my heart. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want it to end like this.”
“It was going to in about an hour anyway.” I tried to laugh, but it came out a snotty choke.
He stared down at me, his eyes running over me, his head slightly waggling.
“What?”
“You are like no girl I have ever met.”
“Because I dumped a prince?” I grinned up at him.
“Yeah.” He chuckled, bobbing his head. “Can’t say it’s ever happened before.”
“I like to stand out.”
“You do. Don’t worry.” He drew me in closer, his smell of a deep, rich cologne filling my nose. “But you aren’t really dumping me.” He cupped my face harder. “I get what you are saying. While I’m training, we are in lockdown. I won’t be able to contact you anyway. So it will be a good time for you to use this time to figure out what you want as well.”
“Another thing you forgot to mention.”
“I’m an awful boyfriend.” He tipped his head into my forehead, his nose brushing mine. “But I will call you the moment I’m out. I can promise you that.” His lips covered mine, soft and sweet, his tongue gently asking for entry. I opened my mouth, deepening the kiss, hungry for more.
The sounds of people strolling up the pavement behind me broke Theo away from me. He kept his head deep in the hood, bowing his face to the ground as they walked by, going into the pub.
“Dalton, can you get Spencer home?” Theo stared at me as he spoke.
“Yes, Your Highness. I’ll order the car for her now.” I saw him over Theo’s shoulder, talking into his earpiece.
“I’ll go tell Landen and Mina.” Theo took a stride backward, his figure the perfect stoic prince, but under his hood, his eyes flickered with sadness. “See you in a few months.”
“Yeah. See you.”
He rolled his mouth together before whipping around and heading inside.
I wanted to run after him and spend every second I could with him, but something stopped me from moving.
“Ms. Sutton?” Dalton called my name as a black car rolled down the street. I knew it was my ride home. “If you don’t mind me saying?”
“What, Dalton?”
“I think you did the right thing. He has a lot of responsibility, pressure, and obligations coming at him. School has been a bubble, and I think even he’s going to be surprised how much his life alters after this.”
I didn’t respond, the tires of the black town car crunching as it came to a stop in front of us. Dalton opened the back door, and I walked toward it.
“The prince can’t date casually. Whichever girl he decides to be seen with must really understand what she is getting into. Most people think it is a fairy-tale life until they are actually in it. She will be hounded by the press, criticized in magazines, torn apart online. Every move will be judged even more than the prince’s. He will be forgiven by the public, while she will be chastised. But I think you understand that more than him.”
“Yes. I do.” I nodded, and I hated it. Women in this life were always judged more harshly about everything. And sadly, mostly by other women. “Thank you, Dalton.” Out of the corner of my eye, Landen and Mina spilled out of the front of the pub, heading toward me, their arms draped over each other, trying to help the other walk.
Dalton’s hand came down on my arm, and my eyes jerked to his serious gaze.
“You seem to be one with a good head on her shoulders and strength to handle it.” A slight smile parted his mouth. “I do hope it works out for you two. I think you are the best thing for His Highness. No one puts him in his place like you have. I’ve worked for more than one royal family, and I can’t say I’ve ever seen one get dumped before.”