“Did he say something to you?” Lili repeats.
“He’s—he’s the one,” I manage to choke out.
“The one who what?” Juwan demands. By this time, they’ve all clustered around me in a semicircle. Lili’s even taken my hand in a reassuring hold.
“He kills me,” I whisper.
“What?” The word comes from all three of them at the same time.
I swallow and try again. “In every life. It’s him. He kills me.”
“Why would he do that?” Sanjay asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I never know. It’s always random. He’s a stranger. He shows up. He sees me.” I try another swallow. “He cuts my throat.”
Now there’s another outcry, even louder. “What, you mean he follows you down an alley and just murders you for no reason?” Lili demands.
“Yes!”
“Is he some kind of serial killer?” Sanjay says. “Goes around killing women all over the country?”
“I don’t know! I never learn anything about him! I meet him, and a couple of days later I’m dead!”
“A couple of days—!” Lili exclaims. “Oh, no no no. That is not happening to you this time.”
“We should call the cops,” Sanjay says. “Right now, while he’s in the restaurant.”
“Cops aren’t gonna believe this shit,” Juwan points out.
“Well, obviously we wouldn’t tell them the truth,” Lili says. “We’d say he looks like someone who harassed Sasha in front of her apartment the other day or tried to grab her purse or something. They come, they interrogate him—he says he was never anywhere near her place—but at least he gets on their radar. And he knows they’re watching him. Maybe that’ll make him nervous enough to skip town.”
“It won’t do any good,” I say. I’ve stopped shaking now, but my body has turned so leaden that my bones can barely sustain my weight. He’s showed up. That means my life is almost over. I’m not ready. I want more time. I want to live and live and live.
Not die and die and die.
“I think we should call the cops anyway,” Lili says.
“There’s no point to it. Even if they take him in and book him. He’ll get out in a day or two, and he’ll find me, and I’ll be dead.”
“No you won’t be,” Lili says firmly. “I’ll stay with you, day and night, until this guy’s gone. We can go somewhere! Up to the Wisconsin Dells, maybe.”
“Yeah, if Armand lets two of you take a vacation at the same time,” Sanjay says doubtfully.
Lili gives him a look of burning reproach. “If it saves her life, he will.”
“It doesn’t matter. This guy will find me wherever I go. I’ve tried everything. I’ve run. I’ve stayed put. I’ve tried to hide. And I think I’m safe, and then one morning I come around a corner and there he is. He kills me every single time.”
“Maybe we should kill him first,” Juwan says.
“Maybe,” Sanjay answers. “But we’d have to be careful about it. He might be a drifter, but if a body turns up, someone’s going to investigate.”
My breath huffs out on what almost could be considered a laugh. Up until this point, I was never sure that any of them completely bought my tale of past lives. They listened, they indulged me, they acted like my story might be true, though they never came out and said so. But they’re sure acting like they believe me now.
“You’re not killing anyone, not for me,” I say.
“Then you need to find yourself a gun,” Juwan tells me.
“I can get you one,” Sanjay offers.
“So can I,” Lili and Juwan say in unison.
I am so deep into the funk of fatalism that I almost refuse. What good will it do? I’m going to die anyway. But then I pause to think about it. I’ve never had a gun before. Never had a way to defend myself. If I can change just one or two parameters of my story, could it have a different ending? Could he be the one to die, while I’m the one to live?
I might end up living in a jail cell after I’m convicted of murder, but at the moment that sounds like a most desirable fate.
Still. “I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not sure I can bring myself to kill anyone.”
“Could you tase someone?” Sanjay asks. “Could you do that?”
I brighten. “Maybe. If I had a Taser.”
“I’ll bring one in tomorrow,” he says.
“We still have to get her through tonight,” Lili says. She crosses her arms and nods emphatically. “I’m going home with you.”
“No, you’re not,” I say. “Then he’ll just kill both of us.”
She leans in closer to peer at me. “Has he ever? In the past?”
I shake my head. “No. But I never let you come with me before.”
She settles back on her heels. “Well, then.”
“It’s too dangerous!” I exclaim. “I don’t want to risk you just because I’m afraid.”
“He can’t kill all of us,” Juwan says. “We’ll all come home with you.”
“What?” I say faintly, but Sanjay is nodding.
“Good idea,” he says. “I have a change of clothes in my gym bag.”
“Me too,” Juwan replies. “In my car.”
“I’ll just wear something of Sasha’s,” Lili decides. “Oh, I know! That red shirt. I’ve always wanted to borrow it.”
“You guys—” I say helplessly. “You can’t—”
“Well, we can,” Lili answers. “We’re going to.”
“Still gotta get through the rest of the shift, though,” Juwan points out. “And that killer is just sitting out there, waiting for Sasha.”
Sanjay is already smoothing down the front of his Deli-Lishes apron, making sure it isn’t spattered with too much grease and ketchup. “I’ll wait tables,” he says. “Sasha, you can cook. At least until Our Friend the Murderer is gone.”
Sanjay and I have traded chores before, on days he’s too restless and claustrophobic to hunker down in the kitchen all afternoon, or I’m feeling particularly unsociable. Armand doesn’t like it, because he’s all about rules and predictability, but Kenny doesn’t care as long as somebody takes responsibility for all the important jobs.