The way Jules’s hand shook while we were waiting for the metro. The tension in her shoulders. The paleness of her skin.
My brisk walk slowed to a meander.
You’re reading too much into one movement. Just go home, man.
So what if it was dark and she was alone? The chances of anything happening to her were slim, even if she was a magnet for trouble.
I closed my eyes, unable to believe I was even contemplating doing what I was about to do.
“God motherfucking dammit.” I bit out the words before I stopped and double backed in the direction Jules had gone in. I set my jaw, growing angrier with each step.
Angry at my conscience, which reared its head at the worst times. Angry at Jules, for existing; at Ava, for being friends with her, and at Thayer’s housing coordinator, for placing them in the same room and therefore making their friendship an inevitability all those years ago.
Fate liked to screw with me, and it’d never screwed me over harder than when it’d introduced a certain redhead into my life.
It didn’t take me long to catch up with Jules. I stayed far enough behind her so she wouldn’t notice me but close enough I could see her. The bright colors of her hair and coat made it easy, even in the dark.
I felt like a total creep, but if she saw me following her, we’d get into another argument, and I was too tired for that shit.
Luckily, we arrived at her house in less than ten minutes, and I relaxed when I saw the glow of lights behind the curtains. Stella, another college friend of Ava’s and Jules’s roommate, must be home already.
Jules walked onto the porch, reached into her bag…and paused.
I tensed again and edged behind a tree on the opposite sidewalk in case she turned around, but she didn’t. She just stood there, frozen, for a full minute.
What the hell was she doing?
I was about to cross the street in case she was in shock or something when she finally moved again. She took the keys out of her bag, unlocked the door, and disappeared inside.
I released my breath in one long, slow sigh. It formed a tiny white puff in the wintry air, and I waited another minute, my eyes lingering on the spot where Jules had stood, before I turned and walked home.
4
JULES
“How was your date?” Stella looked up from her phone when I entered the living room.
“He didn’t show.” I unbuttoned my coat and hung it on the brass tree by the front door. It took me two tries, thanks to the tremble in my hand.
It’s the cold. Not the attempted mugging or the brief moment of paralysis I’d experienced on the porch when I—
Stop. Don’t think about it.
Stella’s eyes widened. “No way. What an asshole.”
I cracked a smile. Stella rarely cursed, so it always amused me when she let a bad word slip.
“It’s okay. I dodged a bullet. I mean, have you seen his dating app picture? That freakin’ fish. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking.” I peeled off my gloves and took off my shoes, avoiding my friend’s eyes while I tried to suck enough oxygen into my lungs.
It hadn’t taken me long to disarm the mugger, but the sensation of being helpless, even for a few minutes, resurfaced memories better left buried.
Wood digging into my back. Sour breath on my neck. Hands on—
“Jules.”
I startled and almost knocked over the coat tree.
I’d held onto my calm during the aftermath of the attempted mugging, but now that I was safely home, my body finally started to process what happened.
It wasn’t pretty.
My heart was a frantic drumbeat in my chest, my stomach a storm of nausea. Stella’s presence was the only thing keeping me upright.
Her brow creased. “Are you okay? You’ve been staring into space for the past five minutes. I called your name twice.”
“Yep.” I pasted on a bright smile. “I just spaced. Thinking of ways to get back at Todd.”
I wasn’t going to waste another drop of energy on the asshole, but Stella didn’t know that.
She tilted her head, her catlike green eyes narrowing. As a fashion blogger and influencer, she was glued to her phone ninety percent of the time, but she was also more observant than people gave her credit for.
“You wouldn’t waste more energy on that guy,” she said.
Okay, there was observant and there was creepy. Maybe those gross wheatgrass smoothies she loved so much gave her superpowers, like reading minds.
“Seriously, I’m fine.” I upped the wattage of my smile. I had no qualms about turning to my friends for advice, but only when they could do something about it. Otherwise, there was no point making them worry. “I just want to watch a movie, eat ice cream, and forget about Todd the Toad.”
A spark of suspicion remained in Stella’s eyes, but thankfully, she didn’t press the issue. “We have a pint of salted caramel ice cream left,” she said. “Legally Blonde rewatch while we finish it?”
“Always.” I never got tired of watching a perfectly coiffed Elle Woods kick ass. “I’m gonna shower first. You do whatever you have to do.”
“Going through my DMs.” She sighed. “Not that I’ll ever get through them all.”
“You don’t have to reply to all of them, you know.”
Stella had hundreds of thousands of followers, and I couldn’t imagine how many messages flooded her inbox on a daily basis.
“I want to. Unless they’re creeps.” She waved a hand in the air. “Go do your thing. I’ll be here.”
While Stella returned to her phone, I entered our shared bathroom and turned on the shower, my smile fading.
I waited until the air thickened with steam before I stepped into the tub and rested my forehead against the slick tile wall, letting the drum of the water wash away my unwanted memories.
My senior year of high school. Alastair and Max and Adeline—
Stop.
“Get yourself together, Jules,” I whispered fiercely.
I wasn’t a young, helpless girl trapped in Ohio anymore.
I was in a whole other state, about to gain everything I had ever dreamed of.
Money. Freedom. Security.
And I’d be damned if I let anyone take that away from me.
5
JULES
By the time Ava’s surprise party rolled around, I’d shoved the mugging attempt into the dim recesses of my mind. Distraction was the key to repressing memories, and luckily, I had enough distractions to keep me busy for the next five years.
“I can’t believe you guys did this.” Ava turned slowly, taking in the restaurant that had been transformed into a veritable party hall with wide eyes. And by party hall, I meant a seven-foot ice sculpture, multiple gourmet food stations, a live DJ, a chocolate fountain, and a temporary dance floor, all courtesy of her richer-than-God boyfriend. “You absolutely didn’t have to.”
“No, but we wanted to.” I flashed a mischievous grin. “Plus, it was a good excuse to get a chocolate fountain. I’ve always wanted to see one in real life.” I hugged her and breathed in her familiar perfume. The scent triggered a wave of nostalgia.