The sensation of being watched makes my skin prickle, and as Malik and Hikari join us in the parlor, my gaze settles on Malik, my new boss, for lack of a better term. Ever since Amicia’s death, he has taken over leadership of our nest. It was not a welcomed role by any means. He would much rather hand over the reins to someone else, but there is no one. He and Jasik are the oldest vampires left, and vampires view age as strength. Malik’s wisdom is supposed to protect us, and I know Amicia would have chosen him as her rightful successor if she’d had the chance.
But not everyone felt that way. We lost most of Amicia’s sires after she died. They scattered, and we kept the manor. The hunters remained, vowing to protect any who wished to stay. Not many did, and now, the silence is uncanny. Day after day, I walk these empty halls, forever searching for the sounds that once made this place feel like home.
The cruelest moments are first thing in the evening, when I wake for the day, greeting the night with tired eyes. For a brief second, I forget. I do not remember the battle or Will’s death. Amicia is still leader of her nest, where she belongs. The witches are still with power, and our refrigerator is stocked.
And then I blink. Then I remember.
Malik begins, his tone hard. Everything about his demeanor makes him seem far too serious for a simple family meeting, and I find myself thinking about all the years he spent by Amicia’s side. The others will not admit their pain. They question my sanity because I can be hysterical and reckless, but containing such powerful emotions certainly must be more deadly than letting them loose. I might be rash, but I am still alive. Sadly, I can’t say the same for all of my allies.
Malik mentions something about a local blood connection, but I am already tuning him out. My gaze flutters to the bay windows that bathe the parlor in moonlight. Outside the windows, perched atop the wraparound deck, sitting prominently at the head of the stairs, is my gargoyle.
He is dark gray in color and weather-worn from years of service. His face is scrunched in fury, the wrinkles of his face deep crevices in his otherwise smooth skin. His eyes are two lifeless dots, his ears pointed and unearthly. His teeth are bared, a clear warning to all who pass.
Not a day goes by that I do not caress his cool scalp. It has become almost ritual now. But lately, there has been animosity between us. Legend has it gargoyles are the vampires’ daylight defenders. Before the witches stormed our grounds seeking nothing but death and destruction, I was naïve enough to believe the stories. I thought we were safe.
I am upset my friend did not protect us, even though I am well aware that my anger is misplaced. I should not be mad at the unworldly stone creature doomed to watch the days unfold without ever taking part in the life thriving around him, but even as I remind myself that being angry with the gargoyle is silly, I can’t help the madness that washes over me.
And as my frustration grows tenfold, the amulet that hangs at my chest hums.
Chapter Two
I know I am dreaming. The feeling of my body asleep, heavy and unyielding, on my bed in the manor is as clear as the sunny day around me. My lungs are full and heavy with each inhalation. The sunlight against my skin is warm, comforting—something I have not experienced in quite a long time.
Despite knowing I am asleep, this place is no less real to me. In my mind, I am here—with him—and we are safe. It always happens like this, which is why it is becoming increasingly difficult to discern fantasy from reality, imagination from vision.
Jasik smiles at me, but he looks so different from the vampire I know. His eyes are bright, his irises a sparkling blue. His skin is tan and smooth, and I reach out to touch it, letting my hand graze the muscular edges of his body. Everything about him is familiar—from the way his body presses against mine to the way he touches me—even if his appearance plays tricks on me.
His lips never move, yet he tells me how happy he is. I feel it too. That moment of peace. But lurking at the edges of our picturesque life is darkness. It creeps closer, bleeding into the frame. With spider web veins, it seeps in, surrounding us, clinging to my skin.
I blink and everything changes. I see it in his eyes—he recognizes it too. The evil presence is all around us, smothering, basking in our happiness.
The sun above us is suddenly obstructed. I have to shield my gaze to look at it, and I watch as something dark and sinister covers what was once bright and glowing. The eclipse shrouds the earth in gloom, and I can do nothing to stop what is already here.
The world is cloaked in shadow, and I feel its presence in my bones. I shiver as Jasik’s eyes turn from a cool, light aqua to a stark, glowing crimson. The vampire surfaces, emerging as it senses danger.
My sire cools under my touch, and I jerk away from him as if he has lashed out at me. I don’t mean to react the way I do, but something revolting washes over me—something eerie and sinister is in our midst. My senses are rapid firing, warning me of danger at all sides.
The shadows loom closer, and I feel them. They are thick, stagnant in the air, and when they touch me, I cringe.
And then it happens. Somehow, I expect it. I have had this nightmare over and over again ever since I returned to this place. It’s always different yet still the same. I anticipate his death, but the pain still envelopes me in a fury I have never known.
Awash with grief, I watch as my lover’s hard curves become soft, like whispers against untouched skin. He bursts into ash. I blink, and he is gone, whisked away with the breeze, forever out of grasp. I clutch my chest as the pain creases, my heart imploding at the sight of losing Jasik.
I am alone now, and with each exhalation, I see my breath. My lip quivers and I hold myself, cradling my torso beneath my arms. I scratch at them with my nails, desperate to ground myself. I fear I may float away, forever spinning out of control in this obsidian abyss that surrounds me.
The air becomes heavy with smoke. I squint through the haze, but the mist intensifies. My lungs burn, and I choke on my breath. My fear intensifies, and I scream. But the noise that I emit sounds nothing like me. I do not recognize the lost, helpless girl who weeps, even though she wears my face.
I clutch at my throat, scratching the skin raw. I know this will not help; this will not send oxygen rushing into my lungs any faster. In fact, this is making it harder to breathe, and even though I am aware of this, I cannot stop. I claw, viciously, like a predator tearing through prey.
I wince as my nails dig into flesh, scraping the area bloody. I crumble, falling to my knees. My body slams against the cold, frozen tundra, and a sharp cramp shoots through my thighs, burrowing itself deep into the base of my spine. I feel the pain everywhere, all at once, and I shriek, silently, because even though I gasp for air, I cannot breathe.
As I slowly drift into unconsciousness, a cackle resonates all around me. The faster I die, the louder it becomes.
I jolt awake, drenched in sweat. Sitting upright and breathing heavily, I run a hand through my damp hair, tangling what is already a heaping mess. With sleepy eyes, I glance at Jasik, who still slumbers beside me. I watch as his chest rises and falls with each inhalation.
Seeing him breathe—how simple it seems—calms my racing heart. Before long, the dizzy haze of my dream dissipates, and I quickly forget the pain and the fear that comes with my nightmares.
I dangle my legs over the side of the bed, planting my feet firmly against the hardwood floors. I slouch forward, resting my elbows on my thighs and forehead against my palms. I close my eyes and exhale sharply, gnawing on my lower lip. The worst part about sleeping isn’t the inevitable nightmares that follow—it’s talking about them the next day. So if I don’t wake Jasik, I don’t tell him about them. It just seems easier that way.