But mostly, I thought I was going mad.
The hair on the back of my neck rose, and I shuddered as I stared out the window. It was that feeling again, of being watched. It was almost like someone knew I wanted to escape.
Slowly, I turned, narrowing my eyes to survey the room. In the dead of night, moonlight spilled over the bookshelves, the wooden dresser. The wick on the lantern was nearly burned down, growing dim. For a moment, the shadows seemed to be shifting, darkness flitting from one corner to another.
But when I scanned the room more carefully, I saw everything as it should be: a four-poster bed; the stark silver and black banners hanging on either side, with the Angelic writing I couldn’t read. The mirror hung over the dresser, by the locked door. The bathroom door was shut, as I’d left it. Nothing amiss.
Just my lonely mind playing tricks on me again. I exhaled slowly.
Facing the window again, I turned the crank to open it a little bit. The wind howled inside, the cold sharpening my senses. Keep your wits about you, Lila.
I stuck my head out the open window and clutched the windowsill. It was just about wide enough to get my head out, so I’d been shoving my face into frigid air a lot. I needed to cool down. At night, dreams of Samael tormented me, and I’d wake up feverish and overheated. I kept dreaming of him tying my hands above my head. While I was tied up, he slowly stripped off my clothes, torturing me with a light touch that made me gasp. He’d brush his mouth over my body, his breath warming me and making me insane with desire. He’d stroke me and tease me, but never satiate me.
Then I’d wake up again, my body on fire. Unsatisfied. I’d rush over to the window and stick my head into the icy wind.
I was coming to realize that angels were addictive that way. Samael was a forbidden fruit I never should have tasted. I’d had one night with him, one taste, and now I’d never forget the feel of his lips against mine. No mortal man would ever satisfy me.
I’d given up thinking I could change his mind. In here, I’d been completely forgotten, with no chance to speak to him. And maybe once I escaped, I could forget him a little better.
I just needed the raven to show up.
“Jenny Squawks!” I whispered into the wind. “You are my only friend.”
Absolute lunatic. I’d given the raven a name, and she was a central part of my escape plan. It had taken a few weeks of practice, but I’d trained her to bring me things. I would show her something metallic, and coax her to bring me other little shiny things: pennies, a little spoon, a butter knife that she tried to drag across the room. Specifically, I was hoping she’d find long, thin bits of metal. Something I could use as a lockpick.
When she completed her tasks, I always gave her a bite of the delicious red fruit.
Eventually, she would come back with a shiny thing I could use. At least, I hoped. So far, I had a collection of coins, a screw, two spoons, and a broken monocle.
As I searched for her in the night, the wind bit at my skin. I moved back into the room, sitting down on the bed.
This had been the only plan I could come up with.
“Lila.”
An unfamiliar, rasping voice spoke from behind me, making my heart pound harder. I gripped the windowsill hard.
I wasn’t alone here after all.
3
Lila
With a racing pulse, I turned around. A strange voice had just rasped my name, and yet I couldn’t see anyone in here.
My heart hammered my ribs. The shadows seemed to twist and writhe over the room like smoke. A chill washed over me.
“I know you’re there,” I whispered. “Whoever you are. Whatever you are. But whatever you’re doing, it’s just not on. I’m not having it.” The most useless threat in the history of threats, perhaps, but I was doing my best.
Swallowing hard, I took another step to investigate. But as I walked past the mirror, something turned my blood to ice. From the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow behind me.
One millimeter at a time, I turned my head, hardly daring to look. And when I had a full view of the reflection, I froze.
There, behind me in the reflection, stood the silhouette of a woman. Wild hair snaked around her head, in front of her face. Her arms were raised in the air, wrists limp, like she was floating under water.
She was a nightmare come to life.
I froze in place, staring at her. Was I losing my mind?
As I gaped at the reflection behind me, I felt water rising up my throat, my esophagus. Rotten water was filling my lungs, coming out of my mouth.
Panic screamed in my mind, and I fell to my knees hard. Wet leaves filled my mouth. I was choking, suffocating. Flailing, I tried to call out, but my screams were trapped under the sodden leaves in my throat. I reached in, pulling out the muck, but it just filled again, like the earth itself was choking me.
My lungs were going to explode. I was going to die here, completely alone. Was this Samael’s magic? Was this punishment for what I’d done? My thoughts were starting to go black.
Then, the illusion simply disappeared. Clutching my throat, I gasped, breathing in as deep as I could. I fell back on the floor, my limbs bruised.
I took a deep breath, in and out, filling my lungs.
At last, the pain was gone. Tears streamed down my face, my whole body shaking. I swiped my hand over my mouth, still trying to rid it of phantom leaves. But they were just gone, completely.
“What is going on?” I whispered.
For good luck, I touched the little raven tattoo on my bicep. Blessed Raven King, give me strength. Already, I felt myself relaxing.
Slowly, I stood on shaking legs. Swallowing hard, I turned to the mirror again—and I found the silhouette behind me.
I whirled this time, ready to attack.
But there was no one, nothing behind me. Just the bed, the moonlight, and the empty room.
“What the hell?” I shouted. “I am warning you … I will really make you upset if you don’t stop this!”
Wonderful. I’d come up with an even more useless threat. But I was being attacked by a ghost, it seemed. How did you threaten something that was already dead?
I breathed in and out slowly, trying to marshal a sense of calm. Maybe I was going completely barmy. I glanced back in the mirror, relieved to see the apparition was gone.
A fluttering of wings turned my head, and relief unclenched my chest as my raven friend swooped into the room. Even better, she carried something shiny and metallic in her beak. When she dropped it on the floor, it clanged against the stone.
Sighing, I rushed forward. “You genius, Jenny Squawks.”
When I picked her treasure up, I saw it was much more expensive than I’d been expecting. Jenny had brought me a hair clip shaped like a leaf, inset with diamonds. It looked antique and worth a fortune. “This is beautiful, Jenny.”
But the real question was, why did Samael have something like this? How many rich women lived in this castle?
Did he have a lover?
Nothing to do with me if he did, really. We were not speaking. I turned the clip over and examined the thin metal clasp on the back. It was long, and bendable enough that I could actually use it to pick the lock.
I just needed another one like it.
I looked up at Jenny, who had cocked her head, waiting for her reward. I reached out to pet her head, and she flapped her wings, squawking loudly.