“But you don’t hate us,” he observes, pointing his spoon at me, getting more animated as he speaks. “You walked into your enemy’s homeland and brought Vaeril back to us, knowing you would be treated badly. You should be hailed as a hero, not treated like a prisoner.”
That thought makes me uncomfortable. It’s bad enough that the servants had started calling me ‘beloved’ before I left, I’m not sure I could cope with people treating me like a hero as well.
“They’re scared,” I argue, forcing myself to finish the rest of my breakfast, even though it tastes like ash in my mouth. “There are hundreds of years of prejudice to work past, it won’t go away overnight.”
“You’ll win them over. You already are,” Vaeril comments dryly, but when I spin in my seat to look at him with wide eyes, I see he’s smiling. “I keep getting messages from one of the prison guards checking that you’re okay.” Rolling his eyes, he chuckles slightly, with Naril joining in at the other end of the table.
“Kaelir! Is he okay? He didn’t get into trouble for feeding me, did he? I’ll have to go and see him and Elier.” My words come in a rush. Guilt fills me that I’ve barely thought of them since I was released from the prison. I vow to myself that I’ll find a way to visit the two of them soon.
“Wait, why would he get in trouble for feeding you?” Vaeril sounds angry, and I raise an eyebrow at him. Surely he didn’t think the queen was going to make sure I was given fine cuisine while I was in prison? Is that how prisoners are usually treated here?
“The queen didn’t want me to be fed.” I shake my head. I don’t understand where his sudden anger is coming from, his changing emotions are giving me whiplash. “Didn’t you pick that up from her comments about me being starving?”
“No,” he grinds out between clenched teeth, and I suddenly understand his frustration. “I thought she was making a jab at how thin you are.”
I can understand why he might think that. I wouldn’t put it past the queen to mock my years of starvation or the toll it’s taken on my body.
“Who’s Elier?” Naril inquires with a slight smile, his eyebrows raised as he watches us with thinly veiled amusement. Vaeril observes me closely, as if he wants to know the answer too.
“He’s the guard who brought me back to the palace after they found us by the lake,” I reply with a shrug, before taking a sip of water from my glass, feeling self-conscious under their intense gazes.
Naril barks out a laugh. “So he imprisoned you, and you want to ensure he’s okay?” His tone suggests that he thinks I’m mad. A grin stretches across his features as he turns to Vaeril. “Are all humans like this, or is yours just broken?” he questions with a shake of his head.
A flare of pleasure fills me when Naril calls me Vaeril’s human, but I push that feeling deep, deep down. Glaring at Vaeril, I dare him to reply, but he wisely doesn’t, his eyes sparkling with humour whilst his face is set in a neutral expression.
“He was kind to me when he didn’t have to be,” I reason, ignoring the ‘broken’ comment. I’ve always felt different, and perhaps that’s what it is—I’m broken. Part of me also wants to point out that I’m not human, at least not fully. I don’t fit with either group, and perhaps I never will.
Shaking my head at the somber thoughts, I glance over at Vaeril, who’s watching me carefully, as if he felt my dip in mood through our partially formed bond.
“What are we doing today?” I ask enthusiastically, as if the positiveness I force into my voice will carry through and I might actually feel it. The look Naril gives me tells me I’m not very convincing, but Vaeril just leans back in his chair as he continues to observe me. The silence stretches out between us, and I’m about to demand that someone say something when he clears his throat.
“I thought I’d take you on a tour of the palace this morning,” he offers, his voice carefully neutral as he waits for my reaction. A small flash of excitement fills me at the thought of exploring this gorgeous building, which is so different from the dark stone castle in Arhaven. The corner of Vaeril’s lips twitch up as he senses my eagerness, but his eyes stay carefully blank. I arch my eyebrow as I wait for whatever news he obviously feels like I’m not going to like.
“But the queen requires my presence this afternoon.”
Ah. I’ll assume I’m not invited, I think, forcing myself not to roll my eyes like I want to.
The elven queen is beautiful and serene, her people hailing her as a fair and just ruler. That is, until a human enters her realm. She was happily going to murder me on the spot when she first discovered my presence, until she was stopped, realising I had brought Vaeril back to her. I’d spent the night in a jail cell before Vaeril was well enough to demand my release.
He’d had a hunch that I was more than human, thanks to my abilities to sense, amplify, and break spells, so he had brought me to his old teacher, Master Ardeth. As the master librarian, Ardeth has endless knowledge and keeps records of all the elves that live in their land. Due to the bond that Vaeril and I share, which can only form between elves, it was clear that there had to be some elvish in me.
We discovered that Jaonos, a wood elf, had left with the intent to help stop the war between the elves and the humans. Master Ardeth had received a letter from him saying he had fallen in love with a human and they had birthed a son—half-elf, half-human. They now believe I’m the granddaughter of Jaonos, making me part elf. They have no idea who my mother is or what happened to me in the first eight years of my life before I became a slave, and I have no memories of that time, but Master Ardeth believes that there could be more information in his vast library and that I should visit the wood elves.
“Clarissa, did you hear what I said?” Vaeril questions, breaking me out of my thoughts. Shaking his head as I blink at him, he speaks again. “Naril and Eldrin will keep you company.”
Excitement, nerves, and frustration fill me at this prospect. I’m excited to see more of the castle and Galandell, and Naril, while sanctimonious and a trickster, has proven to be completely loyal to Vaeril, so if he trusts him, so do I. Eldrin, on the other hand… When I first met him while I was in the dungeons, he’d been a different person, one I was intrigued by. But around the others, he’s been rude and surly, snapping at my every move. Despite that, a slight thrill goes through me at the prospect of spending more time with him, a mood he’ll surely kill within minutes. “Will I see Tor today?” Hope lines my voice at the thought of not being the only human here anymore. It’s nice to know I’ve got another friend close by—if that’s even what he is.
If I hadn’t already been looking at Vaeril, I might have missed the quick look he shared with Naril. “I don’t know,” he hedges, but his tone implies he’s pretty sure the answer is no. “I know he will be busy catching up on diplomatic duties.”
That’s reasonable. He’s a new ambassador here, so it will take time for him to learn everything, but couldn’t he spend even just a little time with—I stop the thought in its tracks, hating that I sound like one of those privileged, needy ladies back in Arhaven. I’ve lived my whole life only relying on myself, until the day Grayson rescued me. I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore.