I knew I was trailing blood after me, and my bare feet felt like they were being sliced open by glass. I wasn’t positive my body was going to recover from this without my magic. Why the fuck wasn’t my magic working? Or my wings?
After what felt like hours, the forest seemed to break into more familiar land.
Relief broke in my chest as I watched a familiar building rise in front of me, my memories trickling in, slow but strong, replacing those from the forest. I couldn’t remember how I had found myself out here, but I knew in front of me was the Red Masques Academy. I knew that I wasn’t supposed to be out here in the snow, bleeding and freezing. I knew, instinctively, that there were people looking for me.
A growl echoed closer this time, and I was able to attach the noise to a name. I had no idea how I knew it was him, but the primal sound sent shivers across my skin, causing my chest to radiate with surety as I sought out the large wolf. I had never seen him shifted, but I knew without a doubt that it was him. I just needed to find him…
“Cannon?” My voice was weak, but it was as loud as I could make it.
Almost immediately, the sound broke off as a massive, dark wolf with bright silver eyes appeared at the edge of the forest, coming to a hard stop. I breathed out a sigh of relief, my knees giving out as his shadow appeared in front of me. A whimper came from his throat as his nose nudged my tear-covered cheek. I wrapped my fingers in his fur as I closed my eyes, knowing I was now safe.
I gave into the darkness.
I gave into the pain.
I was familiar with it, and it was a comfortable reprieve from the confusion.
Chapter 1
Chait
Excruciating pain was an expectation in my life. An expectation formed from spending five years in a cage. Misery and depression had been a constant in my heart since then. Unavoidable.
Until I met Maize.
So it made sense that nothing quite compared to the pure terror and dread that seized me while hugging Maize’s nearly lifeless body on the cold floor of the bathroom suite. Maddox adjusted the temperature of the tub he was leaning over, his energy intense and filled with pain, as I kept my gaze on her nearly blue face. Her pulse was slow but moving, crimson covering her iridescent skin, originating from the back of her neck and flowing down her white slip.
I refused to admit that it was blood. Her blood. I wasn’t at a point of acceptance that I wouldn’t lose my shit if that was the case.
This wasn’t what she had fallen asleep in. It didn’t smell like her.
A whine broke from my throat, the injury on the back of her head bleeding through the bandage we had hastily wrapped her wound in. I knew we could have done better, but honestly I was surprised any of us were managing to focus on what was going on besides the fact that she’d been clearly injured. Injured on our watch.
We hadn’t protected her.
She was far more than half dead right now. Nothing about this was fucking okay.
It was probably why there were only a few of us that had yet to lose our shit completely. That group consisted of myself—somewhat—and Maddox. Zed was sort of included… but he wasn’t allowed in the room right now. His reaction to her blood was far too extreme, so he was waiting until one of the healers got here. They’d be able to fix her up faster than she was currently doing on her own. I needed to know she wouldn’t stop breathing on me. I knew she was nearly indestructible… but seeing her like this, I realized I didn’t fully believe that.
I didn’t believe that she couldn’t be taken away from me. Ripped away from my life like the blessing that she was, here one moment and gone the next. Honestly, it was something I would expect from my life, and I refused to let fate do that to me. My throat tightened as a numbness tried to take over, one that I was doing my best to fight. One that I had survived on while being held in captivity. My hands shook slightly, trying to not dwell on that time in my life, on the memories that would always exist but could be buried underneath far more positive ones.
Or in this case, far more horrific.
It was so tempting to hide from pain like this, but I refused to back away from her. From this situation. If something happened to Maize, I would rather it tear me apart, piece by piece until my soul was shredded, than for me to forget about it. Than for me to numb it out. To ignore it. I had told Maize I loved her, and I fucking meant that with every ounce of my being.
It was why she couldn’t die.
Maize had told me that she loved me back, and because of that, she wasn’t allowed to leave me. I wouldn’t allow her to. I didn’t care if I had to go into the goddamn Spirit realm to bring her back. I would. I would beg her to come back until she understood why I needed her. Why she couldn’t leave me. Maize had become essential to who I was. She was the only small amount of hope in the darkness that constantly threatened to overwhelm me. To drown me.
I could smell death on her. I didn’t like that shit at all. I wanted her to smell like us, not like fucking death. I fought the urge to nuzzle her throat to mark her with my scent instead, because who the hell was I? Fucking Cannon? I was obviously losing it.
A worried rumble broke from my throat as Maddox looked down at her, his eyes flashing with panic before glancing back at the bathtub as if willing it to fill up faster. She was like an icicle right now, frozen in my arms, and it was enough of a concern that I didn’t hear the yelling around me until Valerio’s voice finally broke through the wall of silence I’d surrounded myself in, completely focused on her.
“What do you mean you just found her outside, Cannon?” Valerio’s voice was harsh, edged in an almost manic pitch. I don’t think I’d ever heard him like this. We’d been in horrible situations before, ones that could have easily killed us, and never had he lost his head. Yet here he was, twice in the past forty-eight hours, on the edge of absolutely losing his shit. I didn’t blame him in the least. Not one bit.
I could feel his magic saturating the air, pulling on my own fears. I resisted the urge to snarl at him because I knew it wasn’t his fault. This was just what he did. It was instinctual, just like phantomizing in and out of the Spirit realm was for me. It came more naturally than what was considered ‘normal’ in the Horde.
“I fell asleep in the lounge because I was so goddamn paranoid something would happen, and then I woke up feeling panicked and went to check on her.” Cannon’s chest produced a low, angry sound, and he snarled, “I found Philip and Charm knocked out and she was fucking gone!”
I had no idea how he was even maintaining his human form right now. I could see him shaking from tension, and his eyes were flashing black as his wolf tried to take over. My magic allowed me to see the legitimate spirit form of his wolf pushing against his skin, trying to make itself known. I just hoped he got out of here before he shifted—this bathroom was large, but it was not big enough to fit a fucking wolf, let alone an emotional one.
There was fury radiating from him, and I knew this situation would bother him nearly as much, if not more so, as it did Valerio. Neither of them liked a lack of control. Where I was used to it in some cases, never given a choice through my early life, they rejected it completely. They were furious and didn’t understand how she had gotten up and left without us realizing, something that was confusing to me as well… because none of us were heavy sleepers. There was also the possibility that someone had taken her right from bed, plucked her out from between Philip and Charm, a concept that was even more terrifying.