Outside, a low-pitched growl made Remy snap his head forward again. He had only looked away for a second, but some of the cats stalking him had covered more than half the distance between them. They weren’t slowing down. After having been through so many life-and-death struggles, he knew what was about to happen. He’d survived more times than he could count, but this time something inside him knew that there would be no escape. As the end of his journey raced toward him, he realized, with a slight bit of shock, that in addition to the adrenaline, pain and a wisp of fear, what he felt most was… free.
Soon, he could let go of his chained rage, his impotent fury at trying to make an ever-worsening world a better place. Soon, the clogged poison in his soul would weep, and he wouldn’t have to worry about fitting into society, about being a “good” person, about keeping the monster inside him at bay. His entire life, he’d struggled against the violence and anger that always seemed to be right below the surface. He’d joined the military to channel his impulses. He’d been recruited by the Organization to release them.
He had tried to balance out the lives he took after leaving the service. He’d gone into medicine to square his cosmic debt, though, truth be told, it was more to humor his mother than anything else. As it turned out, even in the hospital he couldn’t run from what he was. He’d been drawn to blood and trauma, once again making dispassionate decisions that carried the weight of life and death. Every action and decision of his life had been aimed at “that part” of himself. Now though, he could just be what he was. Now, and forever more, he could be free.
There wasn’t much time left, but with the time he had, he was going to share his anger! There was a savage smile on his face as he squeezed the trigger again and again. Cats fell, but countless more kept running toward him. Guess Uncle Yo was right, he thought with a grin, pussy really will be the death of me.
With the stock at his cheek, Remy squeezed the trigger and pumped rounds into the circling shadow cats. He pulled the trigger until he heard the inevitable click, click, click. The rifle was empty.
The pack seemed to know he was no longer a threat. They slowed down again and began to creep forward like an unstoppable black tide. The cats did not have the intelligence of a human. What they did understand, however, was pain. They also understood suffering, and they loved them both. At the end of their prey’s life, they followed the instincts of their evil hearts and savored the hopelessness of the bleeding man before them. After all, surrounded and alone in the dark, what could he possibly do?
Hearing their yowls and soft screeches, the small wisp of fear Remington had felt disappeared. Anger filled the void. He had been through too many battles to delude himself that he’d survive long. He knew that these were his last minutes. That didn’t bother him. He’d spent his life well. As far as he was concerned, the people he’d just saved were worth what was about to happen. He wasn't worried about his impending death. What really pissed him off was that he could feel the arrogance and scorn of the beasts. They were looking down on him. Dismissing him. Silently asking the same question that so many others had asked when they told him he wasn’t good enough.
What can you possibly do?
He had the same answer he always had.
“I can do anything,” he spat at them in defiance.
Reaching one hand into the diseased wound in his side, he dug out a handful of congealed blood and pus. It cost him a few health points, but that wouldn’t matter soon. He reached down to his waist for the foot-long knife he’d taken from a hardware store. He liberally smeared his own filth on the blade. It wouldn’t kill any more monsters before he died, but maybe, just maybe, he’d pull a few more of these bastards into the abyss with him after he was gone.
“Well,” he shouted as loudly as his weakened body would allow, “let’s finish this!”
The monsters could not understand him, but they agreed to his terms all the same. The rest of the pack sprang forward like a shadowy black wave. Angry yowls filled the air. He swung his weapon and scored a deep cut against the face of one of the cats. It was knocked to the ground. Before it even landed, he was already swinging at another.
This time, his knife bit deep into a monster’s shoulder. His attack stopped its pounce, but his weapon caught in its flesh. It was only stuck for a second, but that was long enough. Another jumped on him at the same time, raking its Dark magic-enhanced claws down his left side. Remy cried out in pain and fury. His blood flowed fast and thick.
14 breaths remaining.
Turning awkwardly, he chopped at the head of the cat that had sunk its teeth into him. It growled deeply but didn’t let go. He pulled his arm back to swing again, but a second cat pounced before the strike could land. It caught his right wrist in a bite that fractured bone.
Remy screamed in spite of himself and fell to one knee. Before he could do anything more, a third monster dove onto his back and rode him to the ground. He fell on top of the one biting his wrist. With madness-induced strength, he bit its ear and tore it free of its head. The cat screeched and Remy smiled, blood caking his teeth. A sick and cheerful laugh gurgled from his throat.
3 breaths remaining.
That was his last victory. After that, the shadow cats piled on. Then he felt only pain. The stink of his blood was heavy in the air. Lust-frenzied cries filled the night and monsters fought over the right to tear off pieces of his flesh.
2 breaths remaining.
He’d never felt pain like this before, but even as he wailed, something inside of him let go. At last, he was free. Free from expectations. Free from the selfish people who screamed arguments they didn’t understand simply because they enjoyed screaming. Free from the contradiction that had made every day a confusing agony.
Free from the lesson of his father.
Free from the command of his mother.
1 breath remaining.
A cat bit into his neck, tearing into his carotid artery. His lifeblood geysered into the monster’s mouth and his thoughts came to an end. The breath escaped his body with a sigh, and a final bolded prompt appeared in his vision, heavy with finality.
You have died.
CHAPTER 1
Ignorance was bliss.
Remy had always thought that death would mean everything going black. Maybe there would be a tunnel with a bright light. He’d hoped it wouldn’t be a falling sensation swiftly followed by a great deal of heat and the scent of brimstone. Truth be told, he wouldn’t have been overly surprised by that last one.
What happened though was that the world froze and was bleached of color. The next moment, he was outside of his body, dispassionately watching the shadow cats devour his mortal coil. He couldn’t muster any emotions. Even when one of the monsters pulled his leg free from his torso, he didn’t have an emotional reaction to it. Intellectually, Remy knew that he should be bothered by his own mutilation, but he felt nothing. He floated away, not higher necessarily, just “away” somehow. Everything grew darker and darker until all he could see was blackness.
Then he saw the light. Above him, a glowing white portal appeared and his astral self flew toward it. The gateway radiated an energy that made him start to feel things again. It was like the photons flying toward him were each engraved with messages of contentment, peace and love. It felt like seeing a warm glow through your house’s front window after finishing a cross-country drive. It felt like he was going home.