“Nevermind. I’m trying out a new girl today. Can you work tonight instead?”
“Uh, I’d have to run it by Del. I was supposed to close there tonight.”
“I really need you tonight,” he sighed, never shying away from making it clear that he expected my shifts at the diner to be prioritized over the boutique. The way he saw it, there were tons of new girls moving into town left and right who would love to work with clothes over waitressing. He needed me more than Del did.
“I’ll see what I can do.” I hung up before he had a chance to guilt-trip me any further.
As I hung up, an emptiness crept in. No matter how much I wanted to avoid it, I couldn’t deny the longings I felt inside. The only problem with being reminded how good it felt to be with a man, was the absence of it once it was gone with no promise of when it might happen again. It would be easier to juggle two jobs if I had the promise of a warm body to come home to at night.
I tried to shake it all off again and dialed Del’s shop. Angel picked up and within a few seconds she agreed to take the closing shift at the boutique for me. I thanked her and changed clothes, throwing my uniform in my bag for later. Of course, it didn’t matter when Angel worked. She was still hanging around the shop when I arrived, simply because she liked being there whether she was on the clock or not. It was a habit that made more sense before we actually started getting more things to do in Cherry Falls with more businesses and attractions opening every day.
But that day, Angel’s lingering presence made more sense. I could tell by the way she and Del looked at me that they had seen something happen with Damon and I the night before. I clocked in and carried about the usual shop business, trying to ignore their prying eyes.
As I set myself to folding clothes that didn’t need to be folded, I was starting to find it harder to ignore them. That was their goal. To stare me down until I broke.
“Can I help you ladies with anything?” I asked finally, refusing to look them in the eye.
“Oh, no. Nothing at all,” Angel said slyly through pursed lips.
Thankfully, a flood of customers quickly distracted all of us from the elephant in the room. If it kept up all day, I might have just escaped interrogation. But as the afternoon went on, and I finished ringing up a customer who was buying a new outfit for a baby shower, I was hit with the ache of emptiness again.
I wanted to be independent – whole and happy all on my own, with or without a man. But I wondered if I would ever stop wanting more. If the rest of it would stop feeling like a consolation prize.
“Alright. Enough evading,” Angel blurted suddenly, snapping me to attention. “We saw you dancing all over that fine man last night. The same one you’ve been eyeing for weeks. So, let’s hear it.”
Del appeared at her side. “Yeah. Where’d you two disappear off to?”
I felt a warm rush of blood in my cheeks. “Nothing. I went home.” It wasn’t a lie. I did go home. It was just that Damon went with me. They didn’t have to know that part. Or at least they wouldn’t have to know if I could have kept the stupid grin off of my face.
Neither of them looked convinced. “We have been your friends since we were in diapers,” Angel retorted. “And we know you well enough to know that there is only one thing in this world that makes you smile like that.”
“Chocolate? Shopping?” I offered. “Long vacations to the beach? The county fair? Fresh flowers?”
“Nu-uh,” said Angel with a shake of her head.
“Why are you playing coy, anyway?” Del snipped.
I let out a long, frustrated sigh. “Because what’s the point in talking about it?” I argued. “I know it didn’t mean anything.”
“And what exactly was it?” Angel persisted. She wouldn’t be satisfied until I confessed, leaving no room for imagination.
“Fine!” I cracked. “We had SEX! Okay!? There! You happy!?”
I hadn’t noticed the older woman who had wandered in and started browsing. Her eyes widened, letting me know just how loudly I had been shouting.
“Let me know if you need help with anything, ma’am,” I said more softly before retreating to the back of the shop to hide, with Angel and Del following closely behind.
“So, why don’t you seem happy?” Del observed, a little too pointedly.
I shook my head, unable to find the words at first. “I didn’t say I’m not happy. I am. It was fun. It was…” a smile spread across my mouth again. “Great, actually.”
“Then what’s the problem!?”
“Like I said, I know it didn’t mean anything. I just have to enjoy it for the one-time-only night that it was and move on. It won’t happen again.”
Del raised her eyebrows. “What makes you so sure?”
I darkened my eyes at her in disbelief. “Have you met Damon? He has ‘ladies’ man’ written all over him. I know it was just a fluke. He’ll be with someone else tonight and probably someone else tomorrow night.”
“Unless you let him know he could be with you tonight...and tomorrow night,” Angel grinned.
“I don’t think that’s how that works. It’s about the thrill of the chase or something. It’s no fun for them if feelings are involved or they’re tied down to some relationship. Del, you know this better than anyone. Nick used to be the exact same way.”
“But he’s not anymore,” Angel refuted. “That’s my whole point.”
I let out another flustered groan that nearly turned into a scream. “Guys, don’t make this a problem, okay? It is not my job to convert Damon into a monogamist. Go lecture him. Not me.”
“That’s not what we’re saying,” Del insisted, putting forth her best efforts to calm me down. “We’re only saying that he obviously feels some attraction toward you because he slept with you. So, stop being so insecure! If he’s what you want, then go for it. I wish I had tried doing that sooner with Nick. I think I caused us both more heartache by not just coming right out with it and saying he was stupid for not wanting more with me.”
“Or maybe he was the one who should have just realized it without you having to go through all of that,” I defended. “Seriously, where do these old ideas of romance even come from? Because nobody...and I mean nobody actually does any of that shit anymore. The man never falls in love at first sight and chases after the woman to win her over.”
“Girl, that dude Frank did exactly that with you in high school,” Angel reminded me with a hand on her hip. “That poor guy was so lovesick. I heard he had a diamond just waiting for the day when you decided to love him back. Can you believe that!? Buying a diamond at seventeen years old. Anyway, if that’s what you’re wanting...I bet you could go knock on his door right now and he probably still has the thing.”
I rolled my eyes, remembering Frank’s insistence and the complete lack of anything I felt for him in return. “Is that how it works? We’re all just running around wanting what we can’t have? Except you, Del.” I tried to swallow down the harsh realization that she really had gotten everything she wanted. The store and the man.
“We know you, Lizzy,” Del said more softly. “Did you walk around all night with that attitude of ‘this guy doesn’t really like me anyway so I’m not going to bother with showing how I really feel’?” I refused to look at her and give away that she was right. “Because if so, how do you know Damon isn’t feeling the same way you are today? Wishing it could mean more but feeling like you’re not into it?”