God, no. “I’m not,” Edie told her, and tried to keep the smile in her voice. “But I’m sure Bianca will be.”
Gretchen wrinkled her nose. “Which is why I didn’t invite her. Oh well. She can sit with Cooper.”
“Can you show me where I’ll be sitting?” Edie asked, because her knee was throbbing.
“Of course,” Gretchen said, and stood on her tiptoes to give Hunter a kiss right on his scarred cheek. Then she turned to Edie and gestured at the lovely table.
The long wooden dining table was set with seven seats on each side and one at each end of the table. Edie’s assigned seat was stuck somewhere in the middle of things, which made her cringe because if she had to get up for any reason, it’d be a mess. But she said nothing and sat down at her place, noting she was sandwiched between a “Magnus” and a “Reese.” She looked around for Bianca, but she was still in a corner, lost in conversation with a guy. Since there were both booze and bachelors here, she’d probably ignore Edie for the rest of the dinner.
A sour-faced butler swung by and filled Edie’s wineglass. She thanked him and took a sip, feeling conspicuous as the only person seated at the table. Hopefully something would happen to rescue her soon.
She shouldn’t have thrown the thought into the universe; no sooner did it cross her mind than the dining room doors swung open and the three men she’d run into over in the kitchen came in. The guy with the bright green-gold eyes met her gaze and gave her a challenging look as he sauntered into the room behind the other two, then took a swig from his beer. Ugh.
“Are you guys all beer’d up?” Gretchen called. “Okay, let’s everyone take our seats, then. Look for your name card and please make yourself comfortable. Once we’re all in place, we can start with introductions.”
Edie waited, watching as the others in the room shuffled around the table, looking for their names. She began to inwardly cringe as the guy with the green eyes moved around the table slowly and began to head in her direction. Keep on going, she thought. Keep on going. Karma surely couldn’t be that cruel—
He pulled out the chair next to her and flashed her another grin. “Looks like we meet again.” He set his beer down on the table next to her.
She picked up her wineglass and took another swig, ignoring him. This evening was rapidly going from bad to worse. As she watched, others sat, and she fixed her gaze on a pregnant woman who looked like Gretchen—had to be Gretchen’s younger sister Audrey—being helped into her chair by a handsome man with a rakish goatee. He gave her a kiss on top of her head and then moved to the far side of the table, sitting next to Edie. “Hey there, lady. Hope you don’t mind if I sit with you?”
“Fine with me,” she said, forming a smile for him. At least there was one person she’d be able to talk with tonight. She’d just have to pointedly ignore the beer-drinking caveman on the other side of her.
A moment later, everyone was seated . . . everyone except Gretchen and Bianca. Bianca blinked her big dark eyes and gave Gretchen a sad little smile. “I know I’m interloping on the party. I’ll just go wait in the kitchen or something. You guys have fun without me.”
A few of the men made protesting sounds. Edie noticed that one man in particular got up, as if about to offer his chair.
“Oh, stuff it, Bianca,” Gretchen said, her tone irritated. “Go sit in my place. I’ll come sit with my honeybun here.” She went to Hunter’s chair and promptly dropped into his lap.
“All right,” Bianca said in a shy, kittenish voice. She gave everyone a tiny little smile and then sat in the spot at the very end of the table—next to two men who lit up at the sight of her. Yeah. Edie wondered how it was that Bianca hadn’t been invited to the party and was suddenly everyone’s favorite, whereas Edie was one of the freaking bridesmaids and she was stuck between a married guy blowing kisses at his wife and a beer-drinking jackass who was disappointed he wasn’t going to get tits.
Just her lucky day. Maybe she could feign sickness and go hang out with Igor for a bit. She’d take a few scratches in exchange for the cat’s company. Cats didn’t lash out because of pettiness. Cats didn’t demand to see tits.
Edie definitely preferred cats to people.
With a little wiggle atop Hunter’s lap, Gretchen picked up a wineglass—either hers or Hunter’s—and tapped it with a fork. “Okay, everyone. We called you guys here today because we wanted to talk about the upcoming wedding. If you’re here and you have a vagina, you’re a bridesmaid.” She pointed her fork down the table. “Except for you, Bianca. You’re not invited unless we need another usher or some shit.”
Bianca just gave a shy smile, but Edie noticed that one of the men looked aghast at Gretchen’s ballsy words. Edie just sipped her wine and tried to hide her smile. It wasn’t that she hated Bianca—Bianca was family. Of course Edie loved her. But she also kinda loved that Gretchen saw through Bianca’s bullshit and put her in her place.
“So,” Gretchen said, gesturing with her fork. “Penises, you are groomsmen. And since Hunter and I are going to be super picky about how this wedding is run—”
Audrey coughed into her hand. “Cough-bridezilla-cough.”
Gretchen reached over and thwapped her pregnant sister on the head with her fork. “That’s right. Bridezilla. I don’t care. It’s my wedding, and we’re going to do things the way I want, or else I will make people miserable. And that includes dressing my cat up in a clown outfit and making people pose with him as punishment. Feel me?” She cast a baleful look down the table. “Okay, good. Now, since several of us are new to each other, why don’t we go around the table and introduce ourselves? I’ll start.” She hopped to her feet, and beamed down at Hunter. “I’m Gretchen. I met Hunter when he brought me here to his house under false pretenses and we boinked like rabbits until he decided to put a ring on it.”
A few people choked on their drinks. Edie just grinned.
Gretchen pointed at her fiancé with her fork. Hunter cleared his throat. “I’m Hunter, and I decided to put a ring on it.”
“Good job, baby,” Gretchen said. She gestured at her sister. “Let’s go this way.”
Audrey got to her feet slowly—not an easy trick considering the size of her belly. She pushed a few wisps of carrot-colored hair away from her freckled face and sighed. “I’m the long-suffering sister of the bride,” she said, and put the back of her hand to her forehead, eliciting a few chuckles from the group. “And Gretchen has asked me to be her matron of honor, which is both sweet and a little terrifying.” She grinned at her sister. “I couldn’t be happier for these two, though, and I feel like this wedding is going to be wonderful and a match made in heaven.”
Someone made gagging noises, and the room erupted in laughter, including Audrey. Okay, so they had a group of clowns tonight. That could make things fun.
Next went a man named Cooper, who introduced himself as Gretchen’s old boss and a college friend who Edie vaguely recognized. He talked about working with Gretchen, and her dedication to her work and to Hunter, and how lucky Hunter was, going on and on to the point that it got a little uncomfortable. Eventually he sat, and the next person stood up. Kat Geary was Gretchen’s literary agent, and her speech was short and funny. From there, things picked up. There was Chelsea, who was cute and bubbly and rambled on and on as if she were terrified of silence. There was Asher, a good-looking man who made a total bro-speech and was one of the guys who Edie had seen in the kitchen. He seemed nice enough in his spiel, which just convinced Edie that no one could ever really know what a man was thinking. Then, a tiny little woman with a big dark ponytail stood up and said her name was Greer, and she was a wedding planner as well as Gretchen’s friend. Next to Greer was Levi, who was one of Hunter’s biggest and oldest clients, and a good friend.