“I could’ve handled it.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“That’s not your call, Brian. I managed up until now just fine.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
He turned away, looking down at the tiles in the corridor, his shoulders stiff. “That’s not what I meant. Look, I appreciate you standing up for me, but it feels weird.”
“Why?”
“Because of how you were in the office. It was like you didn’t even recognize me.”
“I didn’t, not at first. But then you said my name and things started coming back.”
“You could’ve fooled me.”
“I’m sorry. I was an ass, and you didn’t deserve that. I just-” my voice caught. “Look. I’m not used to having people see me like that, okay? I’ve spent my life building up this perfect, unflappable image and in one night, I destroyed it. It wasn’t you; I was ashamed of how I’d acted. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you, but I did and I’m sorry.”
His eyes widened slightly. “Somehow I get the feeling you’re not a man accustomed to apologizing.”
I smiled, shaking my head. “I’ve never put myself into a position like that before.” I looked up at him and found myself staring into his eyes. “I’m lucky you were there.”
“That’s all you had to say from the start. Was it that hard for you to admit that you needed someone?”
“Harder than you think,” I admitted. “That person you met in the bar isn’t who I am. I need you to know that.”
“I disagree,” Jeremy said.
I braced myself. He was on a roll, and after how I’d treated him, there was no reason for him to let me down easy.
“I saw a man who was hurting and doing his best to forget everything that had happened to him. Sure, you were loud and obnoxious, but who isn’t when they’re hurting.”
“You might think that was normal, but not for me. If the tabloids had gotten wind of that-”
“But they didn’t. And instead of thanking your lucky stars that everything went well that night, you acted like an ass. I was so happy to see you and you just pushed me away as if I was nothing.”
“I know you probably don’t believe me, but I am truly sorry. I should’ve acted differently. Hell, when I saw you, I should’ve pulled you aside right away and thanked you then. There are a million things I wished I’d done instead of acting the way I did.”
“I have some regrets, too,” Jeremy said, a soft smile spreading his lips. “If I could, I would do things differently.”
“Me too.”
“Like what?” he asked, licking his lips then catching the bottom one in his teeth.
“Like this,” I whispered. I pulled him close, capturing his mouth and moving until his back was to the door. Lips soft, he leaned into me, releasing my hand to place his fingers on my hips. Electricity shot through me and I moaned, threading my fingertips through his soft, loose curls. I let him deepen the kiss, following his lead until he jerked back, brown eyes searching mine.
“I need to know why you didn’t call? Not the pretty version that makes me feel sorry for you. The real reason. I can’t do this if you’re not going to be completely honest with me.”
I bit my lip, reaching out to touch his cheek, but he pulled away, glaring. I let out a breath. “I was ashamed. I am ashamed. I let my broken heart get the best of me, and I acted like a complete tool.”
“What does that have to do with me?” His eyes narrowed and he took a small step backward.
I scrambled to explain, but I could already feel him shutting down. “Nothing? Everything? I don’t honestly know. I just know that when I recognized you, it hurt to the very core of my soul. There isn’t anything about it that’s your fault, but you know how you associate certain moments with great pain and you can never get past that?”
“Seeing me feels like that?” he spat out.
My shoulders slumped. “I’m not explaining myself well.”
“You are, actually. The point is, it’s you, not me. That’s what you’re getting at, right?”
“Yes and no.”
“Do you ever just say what you mean? Or is this a game to you? It must be fun to hold people’s feelings in your hands like this.”
I flinched, then I shook my head. “No, you’re right. I was an ass and for that, I’m sorry. I owe you for that night. If any other man had helped me home,” I shuddered without finishing the thought.
“No one else would’ve, trust me. You were obnoxious.” He scoffed and kicked at the shiny, speckled tile with the toe of his red Chucks. “You were worse than Garret. I’m not even sure how that happens.”
“I deserved that.” I laughed.
“And more.”
He was still smiling, relaxed and sure of himself. But underneath that confident exterior he was soft, gentle, and unfailingly kind. He’d seen me at my worse and I’d shunned him. Instead of tucking tail and running, he’d called me on it and made sure I knew he wasn’t going to tolerate it. I didn’t make a habit of being a jerk, but when I was, people scattered or they did their best to placate me. Not Jeremy.
“What’s that smile?” he asked.
“You’re not like any guy I’ve met. I treated you like dirt and you called me on it. I’m not used to that.”
“Most men with money aren’t.”
“You’re right, and I’m trying to make this right. You didn’t deserve any of that. I’d like to say I see that now, but I knew it in the office. I just let my pride run away with me.”
“You can make it right now,” he said with a shrug. “It doesn’t have to be complicated.” “No, you’re absolutely right. Jeremy, I’m sorry. It was a hard day and I should’ve at least texted you thanks for making sure I got home the way you did.” I fished the wallet out of my back pocket. “What do I owe you for the car?”
“Is that what you think I’m worried about? I’m not asking you to settle up. Don’t be absurd. Just act like a decent human being. That’s enough.”
I’d upset him again. I pursed my lips and put the wallet away. “No, but I don’t want you to feel like I stiffed you. If you ever change your mind, just let me know how much and I’ll reimburse you.”
“Okay, fine.” He crossed his arms.
“Look, I wish I could take back the things I said, and not knowing who you were. That’s on me. But please know that I’m not that guy you saw that night. I have my shit together and I don’t drink myself into oblivion. If you can look past all the ways I’ve screwed up any chance we have of being friends, I’d be grateful. We’re going to be working together a lot, and I don’t want things to be awkward.”
“You kissed me.” His lips spread in a slow, crooked smile that tugged at my heart. “I’d say things are going to be awkward regardless.”
“They don’t have to be.”
When his expression softened I wasn’t expecting the pity I saw in his eyes. “It’s obvious someone hurt you more than you’ve ever been hurt before, and I’m sorry about that.”