Tanner sighed.
“But—”
“And I think I’ve had enough of tonight,” Tanner muttered and stood, crossing to his friend and Rachel. “Sorry to say, but jet lag is hitting hard.”
Bas started to stand. “I can drop you at your hotel.”
Tanner shook his head. “Stay. I’ll just grab my bag from your car and call a Lyft.”
Sebastian’s eyes flicked toward Kelsey, who was laughing with Abby. “Actually, maybe you can drive Kels home? She mentioned her car is here, and she doesn’t want to drink and drive. If you take her, she wouldn’t have to come and grab it in the morning. Her apartment is just a couple of blocks from your hotel.”
Sensible.
But hellish.
And yet, what could he say aside from, “Sure. Sounds like a plan.”
“If you even still have a valid license.”
Tan rolled his eyes. “I do.”
“And you’ve driven something more than a horse and wagon over the last year.”
“Does a Range Rover count?”
It was Sebastian’s turn to roll his eyes. “Always so fancy.”
“All I got.”
A snort before Bas turned to his sis and said, “Tanner will drive you home so you don’t have to come back for your car tomorrow.”
“I’m just going to get a—”
“You just told me you were leaving. Tanner is jet-lagged and needs to get to his hotel.” Bas smiled. “Two birds, one stone.”
Tan watched as Kelsey considered her options.
It didn’t take her as long as him to realize they didn’t have any. Either she went with this and pretended it was no big deal for a family friend to drive her home, or she admitted she didn’t want to be trapped in a car with Tanner and why that was.
She chose option one.
Plastering on her fake smile, she pushed back her chair and stood. On went the jacket, waves and goodbyes were extended all around, a hug to Abby, to her brother, to Rachel, then she scooped up her purse and turned for the front of the restaurant.
Tanner followed her, but not before he saw the knowing expression on Bec and Luke’s faces.
Yup.
He had it bad.
And he had the feeling that pretty soon everyone was going to know that.
Five
Kelsey
Hell.
A full seven circles.
Or maybe eight.
Ten?
Maybe that was a little far, after all. She may be trapped in a car with Tan, but it wasn’t like he was driving them over a cliff. In fact, he seemed to be maneuvering very carefully through the streets of the city.
They hadn’t talked except for her to give him the address.
Which was perhaps that eighth circle.
Sexual tension—on her part. Memories. Heartbreak.
Maybe ten wasn’t so out there after all.
But traffic wasn’t terrible, and they were nearing her place. Soon she could change into the cozy pajamas that Rachel had gotten her hooked on, down some water and preventative ibuprofen so she didn’t die tomorrow when she had to get up for work, and then turn on Outlander.
She was way behind and needed to get caught up before she got together with her friends on Friday.
Spoilers were the worst.
Right behind the silence in this car.
They slid to a stop at a red light, her staring out the window, him with his eyes on the road.
“Did I ever apologize to you?” he said.
Shit. Why hadn’t she turned on the radio? At least if she had, she could have pretended not to hear him. Instead, all she had was silence and a rapidly rising pulse.
Turn green. Turn green. Turn—
Fingers on her cheek.
“Kels.”
She kept her eyes pointed out the window, the prickly pear goodness was totally gone now, but she answered him. “No.”
A curse. “I’m an asshole.”
No denying that.
He chuckled darkly. “I’m guessing you agree.”
“Light’s green.”
The car moved. “Definitely agree.”
Kels sighed and leaned back against the seat. “Fuck, Tan, what do you expect? We spent the summer fooling around and hiding things from my parents and my brothers while you promised me we were building something more, something permanent.” She shook her head, hair catching on the fabric of her seat. “I know we were young and both made mistakes and that I reacted to you leaving like a spoiled brat. But I’ve apologized for that, and it also doesn’t change the fact that”—another sigh, her voice dropping—“you said we were more—”
He’d said she was everything.
“—and then you just threw it away.” Threw her away.
“You’re right.”
She froze, having expected him to latch onto the young and made mistakes part rather than agreeing with her.
“Yes, I was young and too fucking stupid to recognize exactly how good I had it. And”—he glanced in the mirror, changed lanes—“I was also a scared asshole who panicked because I had it so good. My head was messed up, Kels. My teenage and college fantasies were about you, and yet I spent every day pretending to just be your brother.”
Yeah, that had been a little strange.
She’d never thought of Tanner as her brother, but they had pretended their relationship was like that when her family was there. Partly because it was fun to sneak around, but mostly because they were too young and cowardly to declare themselves a couple.
Her brothers wouldn’t have liked it, and she didn't think her parents would have either, considering exactly how much time Tan and she had spent alone.
“We made a mess,” she said softly.
He snorted. “Yeah. A big one.”
“I liked the time we spent together.”
And just when she thought the prickly pear was out of her, she had to go and admit that. Kels bit her tongue until it stung, reading Tanner’s silence for exactly what it was. He’d liked it, too, but there was no going back.
“Like I said,” she added as he pulled into her underground garage, “it sucks that it went down that way, but it also was probably for the best.”
More silence. This time she didn’t break it with her blathering.
“My spot’s on the left. Six down.”
He parked, and she stifled a sigh. “Thanks for driving me back. If you’re going to walk, I’ll let you into the lobby so you can cut through to your hotel.” Her gaze drifted up and over to his.
He nodded.
Great.
She popped the door and hopped out, reaching back in and between the seats in order to grab her coat and work bag. The first went over her arm, the second . . . got snagged from her hand.
“I’ve got it,” Tanner said, gripping the rather large tote like it was a clutch. She shivered. It might have been nine years, but she distinctly remembered the feel of his touch, the sensation of those big, calloused fingers trailing down her skin, slipping between her thighs—
La. La. La.
Kels needed to focus and not on how good Tanner had been in bed, or how off the charts their chemistry had been.
She’d had good sex over the years. Not great. But it had been pretty damned good. Plus, she had Outlander to look forward to and a set of really good vibrators that would make her Jamie experience even better.