“My cleaner isn’t going to like you visiting,” Crew said before he moved to the fridge to grab his own beverage.
“Nah, she’ll love it, since it’s job security,” Noah told him. “I love this place. If you get sick of it, let me know. Maybe it’s time I put my own place on the map.” He was a bit shocked when the words came out. But the thought became more appealing by the second. He really did love the house, and the property had many possibilities of what he could do on it.
Crew looked thoughtful before he spoke. That wasn’t unusual. Crew never spouted anything. He liked to compose his words carefully. He never allowed himself to get drunk, and he never lost control. It would be great to see what would happen if he did.
“I like this place. I don’t really have an explanation as to why, but I feel at home here. I won’t be selling,” he finally said, as if he’d considered doing just that for about five seconds.
For the first time Noah noticed some changes in his brother. Maybe all of them were growing up. Noah had never looked at Crew like he was a lost soul, but maybe his brother had gone into the degree he’d chosen because he was seeking answers about his own life. Who really knew another person if that person wasn’t willing to share? Even if a person did share, they didn’t give you everything. If they did, there’d be nothing left of themselves.
“I think it’s a good idea for you to settle down,” Crew told him when Noah didn’t say anything for quite a while.
“I don’t know why I even said that. I’ve just been sort of thinking about it lately. Maybe all adventure or all work is where I fail. Maybe I can have a balance and have more than one thing.”
“There can be adventures to be had in one place,” Crew said. “And just because you own a home doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to leave it.”
“I know. I know,” Noah said. “But buying a house is a big step for a confirmed bachelor who likes to wander the world looking for the next adventure to be had.”
“Let’s move to the den. I got new furniture,” Crew said.
Noah followed his brother through the house and was impressed when they stepped into the huge room. It was certainly a man’s dream space, with a bar, a couple of couches, and a nice fireplace. Noah headed toward the liquor cabinet and glanced at the expensive labels.
“Hmm, good stuff,” he said as he pulled out a bottle of scotch and took off the lid, giving it a smell. “Yep, gotta try this.”
“It’s a little early,” Crew pointed out.
“Nah, it’s never too early to quench your thirst,” Noah told him. He put some ice in a glass and poured the smooth liquor on top, then took a sip. “Heaven,” he said with a sigh. “Want some?”
Crew cracked a smile. “No, I’m good,” he said. “But help yourself.”
“I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission,” Noah said.
“Are you ever going to grow up and act your age?” Crew asked as he sat down and sipped slowly on his beer. “Of all our brothers I’ve taken you as the most serious other than me . . . until lately.”
“Why should I? Just because someone tells me I need to do something doesn’t mean that’s what I’ll do,” Noah said. “I’m liking this new carefree attitude. It’s making my suits a lot less tight. I might give them up altogether.”
“I don’t know why I bother with any of my siblings. You guys don’t listen to me worth a damn,” Crew said.
“Maybe we’d listen more if you loosened up a bit,” Noah said. “You take life too seriously.”
“And you don’t take it seriously enough,” Crew countered. “You’ve changed. Every one of you have changed in the past year.”
“So have you,” Noah pointed out. “Maybe what we all needed was change.” He thought for a few more moments, then spoke again before Crew could say something. “Maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle.” He moved to the couch across from his brother and sat. He wasn’t in a hurry for anything today, which was a wonderful novelty.
“I don’t think I need to change,” Crew told him. “I have responsibilities that I take very seriously.”
“Maybe I have a fear of becoming someone I don’t know or like. Maybe I want to have less responsibility. Maybe that’s why I have the need to wander. I’m afraid if I settle, life will become boring and one dimensional. If I see the world that way, I’ll never be able to do my job.”
“By living that way, you might one day wake up and realize you’ve wasted a lot of time. It’s okay to find a bit of peace in a crazy world,” Crew said. “I can honestly say I have nothing to feel regret over.”
“Well, for me to offer a compromise is a big step. I don’t like giving even an inch. So if I can do it, then I know for sure you can,” Noah told him.
“Yeah, one thing all of us have in common is we don’t easily back down.”
“Are you saying that’s a good thing?” Noah asked.
“I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s an asset. It depends on the situation. Strength of character can play a big role in life. But too much stubbornness can hold us all back. It’s good to shake up the normal day-to-day routine.”
“That’s true, I guess,” Noah admitted.
“How are things going with Sarah?” Crew asked. “I’ve never seen a woman get under your skin like she does.”
“I don’t know why she gets to me so much. She’s completely wrong for me. But even knowing that, I can’t get her out of my head. I want to be with her all the time. I love how I feel when I’m with her.”
“Maybe you’re falling in love for the first time in your life,” Crew suggested.
“Nah. We haven’t spent enough time together to fall in love,” Noah said. “But I tend to send mixed messages.” There was no way he’d convince his brothers he was a happy single guy if he wasn’t able to convince himself.
“Hmm,” Crew said, and Noah suddenly felt sorry for his brother’s patients.
“Sometimes your little sounds drive me absolutely crazy,” Noah told him.
“You’ve known her for about a year now, so this isn’t new anymore. You should really know what you want by now. If you’re just toying with her, I’d suggest you let her go. She’s not the kind of woman to be played with.”
“I’m not playing with her. It’s just a physical thing,” Noah said. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or his brother of this.
“For someone who doesn’t want commitment, you seem awfully attached to this woman,” Crew pointed out.
“And you’re getting this from just a few words I’m saying?” Noah questioned.
“No. I’m getting this from hearing you speak about her for months.”
“Maybe I should keep my mouth shut from now on,” Noah said.
“You know none of us are judging you. I know this is a process you have to work through,” Crew said.
“I know that, but I’m not sure what I’m thinking or feeling, so it’s impossible to put it into words,” Noah admitted.