I blinked slowly, trying to slow my heart rate, and as I did, I noticed the timestamp on the photo.
Three weeks ago!
Ugh, just get over it already.
Frowning, I lifted my gaze, looking away from the phone and out my bedroom window. Just beyond it, leaves on the towering maple tree fluttered in the afternoon breeze. It wouldn’t be long before they changed colors as emerald green gave way to fall’s red fire.
Speaking of turning over new leaves.
After a final sigh, I felt a faint, melancholy smile come to my lips. It was time to get rid of these vivid, hormone-kindling images once and for all.
I held my thumb over the crimson red delete button, softly pinching my lip between my teeth. Before I could reconsider for any of a thousand reasons I might think it’s all right, you know, as a keepsake, I followed through, erasing him from my phone and my life, for good.
9
Mind Games (Dalton)
With three weeks on the pristine beaches behind us, I stood across from Mack as we prepared to go our separate ways. While things never quite ventured into full-fledged bender territory, we were both feeling the effects of a few too many booze-filled nights by the time it ended.
I wasn’t sure when our paths might cross again. It seemed like since we’d served, the gaps in between times together only widened.
We’d initially planned on sharing the first leg, with me stopping off back home first while he continued on to his home base out in LA. Only Mack got some unexpected interest from investors and was headed to Tel Aviv to meet with some of the brass. The guy was not only a helluva soldier but an ambitious, brilliant sonofabitch as well.
Hell, I was pretty sure he was a borderline MENSA.
If you spent any time around him though, you’d hardly know it.
In fact, when he’d turned down a full ride for an engineering degree at MIT to rough it with the SEALs, his family and friends all thought he was crazy. But Mack had that rare combination of skills - a soldier on the battlefield and commander in the boardroom - that few men in life possessed.
“So, you think you’ll be able to close the deal?”
Mack gave me an easy shrug. “They need the tech. I can’t imagine the answer being ‘no’.”
He’d first brainstormed the idea a few years ago, but like most innovations, it had taken him a while to sort out the kinks. Because they classified the details, there wasn’t much he could share but what he could sounded promising. The Israelis were keen on it first, ponying up a lucrative sum to put the idea through the wringer. Mack figured if things went even halfway according to plan, he’d be cashing out for a ten-figure sum down the line.
At least then he wouldn’t be able to take those digs about money at me any longer. If for no other reason, I wished him the best for that alone.
“Well, I would tell you good luck, but I doubt you’ll need it.”
“Luck never hurts,” Mack replied with a raspy chuckle. “What about you? Everything squared away?”
“Almost.” I gave my laptop bag a pat. “Just got a few more things to iron out on the flight back. Otherwise, I’m good to go.”
Just then, the boarding announcement for his flight echoed in the terminal area. Mack looked over his shoulder at the line of passengers gathering nearby before turning my way and clapping his hand across my shoulder.
“Been great seeing you, brother. Thanks for inviting me. Had an awesome fucking time.”
“Don’t mention it. Appreciate you hanging out.”
We shared a quick embrace and a firm handshake before he stepped back.
“Text me when you get set up,” he said. “Once I’m done in Tel Aviv, I’m probably headed to LA, so I’ll look you up. We’ll grab a beer.”
I nodded at him. “Will do.”
With that, Mack turned and slung his carry on across his back. I watched him walk off, reflecting on the divergent paths our lives would take. He could measure his journey to success in easily quantifiable results.
Did the tech perform or not?
Yes or no.
Pass or fail.
Although I was optimistic about what lie ahead for me, there were still plenty of obstacles to overcome. I had a good sense of what most of them might be, but there were still some blind spots, murkier elements that I could only guess at for now.
Unlike Mack, I’d learned to turn my focus elsewhere, to the inner battlefield where the conflict never quite came to a close. In matters of the mind, outcomes aren’t readily apparent, or easy to track. Most of society would like to believe that the physical is the only thing at risk in war, but more often than not it’s the mind where wounds run the deepest.
Most of what passed as ‘care’ amounted to little more than lip service.
More often than not, the black clouds of combat linger in men’s minds, trapping them in a hellish cycle of mayhem. The results are predictable, if not inevitable. Left unchecked, they can manifest themselves in an almost endless array of self-destructive behaviors.
I’d seen the downward spirals up close; witnessed lives spun out-of-control until most wound up in a drunken haze, a drug-induced stupor, or some other soul-stealing addiction that surfaced just so they could fucking cope. I had no idea what impact my work might have, but I’d spend the rest of my life trying to find out.
I took one last look, feeling lucky to have good people like him in my life. God knows there weren’t many these days.
“Hooyah, brother.”
Later, after I got on the plane and stowed my gear, I slid into the first-class seat dreading the lengthy flight ahead. Despite all my years of globetrotting, being cooped up in one of these big birds was never one of my favorite pastimes. Luckily, I’d have plenty to keep me busy on the long flight back to JFK. From there, a quick overnight stop and then on to my final destination.
While I waited for the flight attendant to bring my cocktail, I fired up my laptop and burned through my email inbox, deleting the mountain of unimportant messages I’d blissfully ignored for the better part of the last three weeks.
“Here you are, sir.” The statuesque brunette leaned over me with a smile. “Can I get you anything else?”
I shook my head as I closed my laptop. “Not right now. Appreciate it.”
“My pleasure.”
She turned away from me and I looked up as the sea of people coming on board parted and stepped aside so she could pass through.
What the hell?
I crushed my fingers around the ice cold tumbler glass and raked a dry swallow down my throat.
Sparkle?
It couldn’t be.
I mean, it might’ve been, but I couldn’t be sure. The woman had her back to me. While I hadn’t seen her face yet or gotten a good look at her body, the hair was similar.
I craned my neck, trying not to be too damn obvious because I wasn’t at all certain how I’d react if it was her. My body didn’t hesitate though. I felt my skin turn hot beneath my clothes, the fire she’d left smoldering inside of me when she disappeared into the early morning mist reawakened. I lifted the glass to my mouth and hammered back a mouthful just as she turned and faced me.
“Shit,” I muttered as the average-looking woman passed by, bumping into my shoulder while she did.