“Get off the phone,” she shouted, pointing a delicate finger in the man’s face. She’d already crossed the aisle and was standing in front of him.
“Why?” he asked, looking her over with an arrogant stare. “We’re not taking off yet.”
“Get up,” she said, pulling the phone forcefully from his hand and hanging it up. “Stand up.” Mathew watched in shock as her tiny frame stiffened and her little ring-covered hands balled into fists.
“Who the hell are you?” the man asked, yanking his phone back angrily.
Mathew watched the scene unfold in stunned silence for a moment. But the silence didn’t last long as Jessica’s roaring voice continued. Of course he should get up and intervene. There was no question. Well, there was one question: What the hell was Jessica’s plan?
“Stand the hell up before I grab you by what I can only imagine is a baby-carrot-sized dick and make you stand.”
“Are you a crackpot?” the man asked, twisting his face up and instinctively covering his groin as he looked around for some help.
“You are a rude, self-centered bully with nothing better to do than to insult someone. You don’t deserve to sit next to her. Get up.”
“You can’t kick me off this flight.” The words began as a statement but waivered into an uncertain question.
“No, I can’t,” Jessica agreed, looking momentarily disappointed. “But I can make you switch seats with me.” She pointed at the seat next to Mathew and stared down at the man.
“Get the fuck out of my face. I’m not moving because you feel bad for some cow who can’t fit in her own seat.” The man had doubled down, but his firm words didn’t match the look of fear dancing at the corners of his eyes.
Mathew stood now, having no clue where Jessica would take this situation if the man continued to refuse her demands. The woman stayed tucked in the doorway of the bathroom looking mortified but listening intently.
“This is your last chance,” Jessica hissed. “Get up and move to that seat, or I will move you. I don’t care if I have to claw out your eyes or bite off your ear, I will get you to move. Don’t try me.”
“You are a crazy bitch,” the man said, using his free hand to cover one of his ears.
“Get up,” Mathew announced in a deep and determined voice. “Get up and move to the window seat over there.” He pointed at the seat he’d just gotten out of.
“Or what?” the man asked in a nervous snicker, still having one hand over his crotch and the other over one ear. “You’re going to kick my ass?”
“No,” Mathew said coolly. “Even worse, I won’t stop her from doing it.”
Maybe the comment lent some credibility to Jessica’s ability to actually maim this man. The last little piece of arrogance slid away from the jerk’s face as he stood, and Jessica cleared the way for him to change seats. When he flopped himself down onto the window seat, the man continued to mutter nasty things, now about all of them.
“Shut it,” Mathew demanded as he took the seat next to him and slammed the armrest down like a barricade not to be crossed. Jessica gestured for the woman to come out of the bathroom and then patted the seat by her in a calm and friendly way, as though she hadn’t just threatened to bite a man’s ear off. As though what she’d just done was perfectly normal in every way.
“Is everything all right, Mr. Kalling?” the flight attendant asked as she made her way toward them, a worried look painted across her thin-lipped face.
“It’s fine now,” he said, though his face still looked anything but. “Get me a gin and tonic though.”
“Yeah me too,” the wiry man said, throwing one finger up like he was ordering in a restaurant.
“No,” Mathew said flatly. “He won’t be drinking anything else this flight. Don’t bring him anything. Not even a bag of peanuts.”
“Yes, Mr. Kalling,” the flight attendant said with a worried smile.
“You can’t do that,” the man protested.
“You don’t even know who I am; how do you know what I can do? Now get your arm off my armrest, stare out the damn window, and don’t say another word the rest of this flight.”
Mathew glanced across the aisle at Jessica and her new friend. They were smiling easy smiles as Jessica talked animatedly about something and occasionally touched the woman’s shoulder. If he thought this flight was going to give him time to sort out and compartmentalize his feelings for Jessica, he was wrong. It had done just the opposite. The light haze of mystery shrouding her had become a unique thick fog. And all he could think as he replayed her actions over and over again in his head was: What the hell was that?
The only thing more awkward than a plane ride sitting next to a guy who’d just been demolished by Jessica, was the car ride home. The service had picked them up at the airport with the intention of dropping her off first. There had been a part of him, before the scene on the plane, that thought it would be pretty easy to convince her she’d rather come back to his place. But now he wasn’t so sure getting involved with Jessica would be in any way simple.
“What an asshole that guy was, huh?” she asked as she powered up her phone and scanned her messages.
“He was,” Mathew said with hardly any conviction. He felt the breeze from her head snapping around quickly in his direction.
“What? You think I should have just sat in my own seat and let that guy treat Mary-Lou like that? That’s her name you know. She’s a person, a human being.” Like a toy that had been wound and then placed back down, Jessica flailed her arms animatedly.
“Whoa,” Mathew said, tossing his hands up and figuratively pumping the brakes on this runaway conversation. “That’s not what I’m saying. The guy deserved to be shut down. I just don’t agree with your methods.”
“I didn’t see you doing anything,” she snapped accusingly.
His pride sent a flare to his brain, and his instinct to defend himself against the blow took over. By this time of night he’d expected they might be tantalizingly touching each other in the back of the car in anticipation of the hot sex they’d have all through his apartment. Instead he wanted to go tit for tat in an argument about tact and self-control. Significantly less sexy by all standards.
“You were on your feet and threatening his life before I could even blink. Trust me, I’d have handled the situation without making a scene like that. Do you really think that woman appreciated all the attention?”
“Her name was Mary-Lou,” Jessica said as though he were making her point. “What would you have done? Read him statistics about the impact of bullying? Come on,” she huffed loudly and tossed herself back against the plush leather of the car seat.
“There are many ways to take down a guy like that. I’ve been doing it my whole life. It’s not always about brute force; sometimes it is, and I don’t hesitate, but I use my head first. You can scare a man half to death if you know what to say to him. I’d have had him escorted off the plane. I’d let him know exactly what a lowlife dirtbag he was. After getting all his information I’d have put some fear in him that would linger a hell of a lot longer than those empty threats you were shouting.”