“Now, that’s exciting,” Genie’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes heavenward.
“Hobbies.” Herb puffed out his chest and preened. “I’m one of the founding members and the current membership chairperson for the local Botanical Society. I have a spectacular rose garden that was featured as the Rose Garden of the Year in the Southern Horticulturists Review.”
“Oh, whoopee.” Genie tossed her popcorn up in the air like confetti. “I’m impressed.”
“Stop that.” Rachel slapped at Genie.
“Expectations...,” Herbert paused to give the prompt some careful thought, “...my expectations are that my date be female and heterosexual. That is all.”
A match made in heaven, Rachel thought wryly. His expectations aren’t any higher than mine.
The video immediately faded to black.
There was no sound out of Genie, so Rachel looked in her direction to gauge her reaction. She was doubled over and shaking, her face pressed to a throw pillow, and she was clutching her midsection as if in pain. Suspecting that Genie was choking on her popcorn, Rachel placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Genie, are you all right?”
Genie waved a hand in the air.
“Nod if you are choking,” Rachel instructed urgently.
Genie nodded vigorously and beat her hand against the couch.
Rachel raised herself to her knees, positioning herself behind her friend and circled her midriff with her arms, placing her closed fists against her diaphragm. She jerked her arms sharply inward.
Genie exhaled noisily. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Saving your life.”
Genie sat up rubbing her tummy, then burst into a loud fit of hilarity–-this time accompanied by the usual snorts and guffaws.
By now, Rachel understood clearly she was incapacitated for another reason altogether.
Eyes streaming with tears and her face a bright red, it took Genie a full five minutes before she calmed down enough to breathe without wheezing.
“If you are quite finished...” Rachel leveled a killing glare toward Genie, then twisted, giving her full attention to the computer monitor. Realizing she was about to click on the last link, she hesitated before touching the mouse. But instead of clicking, she leaped to her feet and hurried to the kitchen, returning a moment later armed with a fresh bottle of wine. As she took her seat, Genie was blowing her nose loudly and scrubbing smeared mascara off her cheeks.
“Are you ready?” Rachel asked in clipped tones.
“Yes, oh yes. Go ahead, put it on. I could use another good laugh.” Tossing back another gulp of wine, Genie continued. “I think my favorite, so far, is the last one—Plug Man.” She dissolved into giggles again.
Rachel relaxed, and couldn’t help but smile. Genie had the gift of laughter. That’s why she valued the redhead’s friendship so much. Rachel tended to take life too seriously, while Genie thought life was one long comic relief show. Her special spin on life often helped Rachel put things into perspective. “For what it’s worth, we don’t have any more potential candidates to review.”
“No? What about this last video? I promise to try and keep an open mind.” Genie touched Rachel’s arm, giving her a steady look. “And we don’t have to make any decisions tonight.”
Blushing, Rachel reached for the remote and held it protectively against her chest. “It isn’t another man.”
Genie’s eyebrows rose. “Uh...I thought the whole point was you needed a man to get you pregnant. Is there something you want to tell your best buddy, Rache?”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Stop it, silly. It’s my video.”
Genie grinned at her embarrassment. “Start ’er up. I need to see what you’re advertising.”
Her hand hovering over the mouse, Rachel glared at her friend. “You have to promise not to laugh.”
“No can do.”
Rachel sighed. “Oh, Genie, you’re a mess. I guess there’s no use asking you not to laugh. That would be like asking a mudslide to stop mid-way down a steep slope. Oh well, what’s it going to hurt?” With a resigned shrug, Rachel punched the play button and sat next to Genie, attempting to view it with a detached eye.
“Hello. I’m Rachel Taylor.” Rachel complimented herself on her confident delivery. She also thought the leopard print chiffon scarf looked daring against the deep V of her double-breasted camel-colored coatdress.
“So far, so good. You remembered your name.” Genie grinned.
“I own an advertising firm and handle my own accounts.”
“Sounds important, maybe a little stuffy—so’s that dress.”
Rachel frowned, that was one of her favorite outfits. “Genie, I’m an executive, that’s what I do, I can’t lie about that.”
“Shhh. I want to hear what you say your hobbies are.”
“My hobbies are...,” the Rachel on the screen paused, looking a little confused by the question, “...um, reading...I belong to an investor’s club, and I enjoy organizing...things....”
Genie’s eyebrows rose with every word until they were hidden in the hair hanging over her forehead. She held her comments until the Rachel on the monitor concluded her interview.
“My expectations in a man are that he be male, healthy, and have a good genetic background, with no mental or physical health issues in his family. He should have at least a high school education, and I will require a copy of his most recent physical as proof that he is free of any infectious diseases.”
“Wrong, wrong, wrong!” Genie shook her head. “Oh, Rachel. What are you trying to catch, here? Most men would run screaming from the woman in that video.”
“Why? What’s wrong with the truth?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that it reeks of geek! There’s none of your natural warmth and caring reflected in that video. You should be talking bed sheets, not spreadsheets.”
“Well, I wasn’t very comfortable before the camera, and they only gave me three minutes. I had to make the most of it.” Sighing, Rachel could tell her interview made a lousy first impression, but it couldn’t be helped now. “Never mind my video, we need to make a decision about the gentlemen we just watched.”
“But none of them are right for you.”
“Well, then I’ll keep looking,” Rachel said stubbornly.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. I’m determined to stick to my plan and find an acceptable donor.”
“Rachel, you really need to think about this whole scheme. It just isn’t right. You must know someone. You work with a lot of guys, isn’t there one you might consider?”
A picture of a tall, lean man with laughing blue eyes, hair the color of butterscotch, and the devil’s own smile popped into Rachel’s mind, but she squelched that thought immediately. He was a client. Mixing business with her personal life would be a sure recipe for disaster. Besides, he was already taken.
Snatching her planner from the table, Rachel rose from her seat and paced the floor. “You know I’m not searching for a relationship, Genie. I’ve thought about it for an entire year. I’ve planned and researched until I know exactly what I have to do. There won’t be any strings attached to this baby. It will be all mine.”