His mood continued to sour through the rehearsal. Poppy was giggling and making eyes at Damien all night. Damien seemed to be bolstered by her. He didn't seem to return the interest rather than revel in it. While jealousy was the main emotion coursing through Josh's veins, he was also angry. Poppy deserved someone who would return the energy, not just absorb it.
It didn't sit well with Josh, none of it did.
When rehearsal ended, Josh found Poppy by herself for once this evening. He decided to make his move.
"Hey Poppy, good rehearsal tonight."
"Thanks, you too. Damien is really helping me to perfect my craft. Isn't he amazing?" Poppy asked.
Josh's mind played through the rehearsal. He just kept replaying Damien's hands on Poppy when he was coaching her. Damien telling Josh on multiple occasions to ‘just watch’ as Damien sang through Josh’s part with Poppy. He pushed the anger deep down. He had lots of practice pushing down his emotions, he was a top notch feelings stuffer.
"Yeah... He's great." He wasn't sure if that sounded sincere or not but at this point he was pretty far from caring. "Are you going down to the Elbow Room tonight? I was thinking about heading down there."
"Yeah, let's go. I just need to finish up a few things here."
"Okay, I’ll wait and walk over with you."
Poppy cocked her head to the side and smiled at him. "You're the best. Just give me a sec." She turned and disappeared backstage.
Josh took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. He was going to tell her tonight how he felt. The timing for them finally seemed right, with the exception of Damien St. Cloud.
"All set!" Poppy said as she came out and grabbed her purse. "Shall we?"
Josh nodded and held the door open and gathered courage for the talk he was hoping to have.
Walking into the Elbow Room always felt like walking back in time. It was this dingy little dive bar with an ancient karaoke machine. They didn't even have any digital selections, just an old school book of cd's and sticky selection books with songs that stopped somewhere around 2005. It was a vibe all its own and people around here loved it.
"What do you want to drink?" Josh asked Poppy.
"I'll take a cranberry and vodka with a splash of club soda and a lime."
Josh headed to the bar while Poppy went and snagged them a book and a table. It was a slow night, just a couple tables filled with regulars. Josh came back with the drinks and joined Poppy while she was flipping through the book.
"What are you going to sing tonight?"
"I'm not sure yet." she said not looking up from the book.
Josh's fingers drummed nervously on the table. He had chickened out on the way over, but it was now or never.
"There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about," he said tentatively. Putting his feelings out there was very vulnerable and being vulnerable was hard for him.
Poppy looked up at him with her normal Poppy smile, but after she looked at him her eyebrows drew together slightly.
"What's up?" she asked.
His heart was pounding in his chest. He rubbed his clammy hands on his jeans. His anxiety was starting to spike. Taking a deep cleansing breath, he tried to center himself for this conversation.
"It's about yesterday..." He paused. He needed the words to come out right, but they were getting all jumbled up in his head. Poppy patiently waited for him to continue.
"When we were running lines together. It felt like we --"
He was cut off by the sound of some of the cast members and Damien St. fucking Cloud loudly entering the bar. Poppy turned around and beamed at them. "Over here guys! I'm sorry, can we talk about this later?"
"Yeah, sure thing." Josh's heart fell to the floor, and he glowered over at Damien who was at the bar getting a round of drinks.
Damien walked over to the table holding some shots in his hand. "I got a round for the table." He set the shots down and passed them around.
"Oh, thank you!" Poppy said. "What are these?"
"It's one of my favorite shots from the city. You're gonna love it." he said with a wink at Poppy. Poppy returned his wink with a smoldering gaze. Josh's friendly smile never left his face, but he was feeling far from friendly right now.
"I just love this little bar. It is so old school. So different from anything in the city. You really have to come out into the world and venture out to find that stuff like this still exists. There are people who still live this way," Damien said.
"And what way is that?" asked Josh.
"This! This bar is like a time capsule. This town is like a step back in time. It's great. I can do so much character research here --" Damien continued talking, but Josh was done listening. Damien had everyone hanging on his words. Josh took that moment to check his phone because he could not listen to him drone on about how backwards this town was. This town that basically raised Josh. They were not some zoo exhibit for people like Damien St. fucking Cloud.
He noticed a couple texts and missed calls from his sister.
"Excuse me, I am just going to step outside really quick," he said to Poppy. Poppy turned and nodded, and then quickly turned her gaze back to Damien.
Josh walked outside. It was getting late, and the autumn air was getting colder. Main street was quiet. The only things open now was this bar and the bistro a few blocks down. He pulled up his sister's number and called her.
"Josh," she answered the phone.
"Yeah, what's up Lex, I just saw that you called."
"Yeah, my car won't start...piece of shit," she grumbled. Josh could hear her slam the hood.
"Do you need a jump?"
"I think so. Do you mind?"
"I'll be right there." He hung up and took a deep breath. He looked in the window, but he didn't see Poppy. He wanted to go tell her he was leaving and see if she wanted him to come back to give her a lift to her car. Walking back in he scanned the room. Poppy and Damien were both gone, and a pit formed in his stomach.
"Hey guys, I need to head out for a minute. Have you seen Poppy? Since we came together, I just want to let her know I’ll be right back."
"I think they went out on the back patio," answered one of his cast mates.
That didn't make sense. It was getting cold tonight and neither of them smoked, so why were they on the back patio? Josh made his way through the bar to the back door that let out onto the patio. He pushed open the door and stepped outside. It was a simple wooden deck he had built last summer with lights strung up and a couple of tables.
He didn't see them initially, but then he did. They were in the corner Poppy's back was against the wall and Damien St. Cloud was kissing her. Not just a kiss, no, this was full blown making out. Poppy's hands on his back and fisting his hair. His hand holding Poppy's hip and the other one looked to be feeling something a little higher.
Bile rose in his stomach. He had no claim to Poppy. One moment that had felt monumental to him clearly did not feel the same to her. He may think Damien St. Cloud is a pompous ass, but it would appear Poppy didn't share the sentiment. His heart pounded in his chest. His cell phone slipped from his hand and landed with a loud thud on the wooden floor of the patio.