I glance at Drew quickly before looking away. All these thoughts about her birthday and what matters to her remind me that I need to find a way to get “her giant” there. We have a tradition of having a little celebration at the Olde Mug with everyone who cares about her. Regulars come to spend the day with her outside of their regular drop-in times and fill the day with lots of laughter. It doesn’t hurt that pizza and cake are free-flowing. Even though she is never without tons of people coming by on her special day, something tells me nothing I could get her would mean more than having her giant attend this year.
He might say no, but if I’ve learned nothing else, I will never underestimate the power and spell my Riley bean has on her giant.
It should unnerve me, but instead … it gives me peace.
“Disappear” by eli.
Riley runs off the second we clear the threshold of their lavish two-story condo. She couldn’t stop talking about some alphabet letter group who had a concert she just had to watch on the TV. From what I gathered from Olivia’s sigh, this was normal for her to ask for. It was all just a bunch of stuff I couldn’t understand, so I stopped trying and just nodded when Riley expected it from me. Having no clue as to what I agreed to only makes me slightly apprehensive.
I’m not sure what compelled me to accept Riley’s offer of coming up, but no way did I have the power to say no, not to her … or her aunt, for that matter. I watch Olivia move to the table a few feet from the elevator door and place her purse and keys in the middle. I take a moment to look around the opulent space.
Plush gray rug over white marble flooring.
Twin white chairs that look like they cost a mint on either side of the table.
Artwork lines the bright white walls with lighting in the ceiling placed perfectly to showcase what I’m sure are costly prints.
It screams expensive.
I knew she had money. After I realized who she was, I pulled all the shit I could on her. Knowing it and seeing it, though … I damn sure wasn’t picturing this. Beacon Street isn’t an area to sneeze at; she must pay close to fifty grand a month here. Again, knew she was loaded, but seeing it was different from knowing it.
This was all supposed to be simple.
Get close to the girl, wait for that slimy shit I’m hunting to make contact, and then move on to the next target after we take him out.
What it wasn’t supposed to be is whatever this is.
What I wasn’t supposed to do was grow attached to the beautiful coffee shop owner and her niece.
That, definitely, wasn’t supposed to happen.
Not that it’s not allowed to have relationships, but because I can’t imagine how I could ever tell Olivia who I am … who I really am.
I look down at the top of her head. She avoids looking at me, something she does a lot, but usually, it comes with sideway glances she doesn’t think I see.
Oh, Olivia Elizabeth Kelley, I fucking see you.
Every time her gaze is on me in any capacity, I feel it.
It drives me to the brink of insanity.
I can’t afford even the littlest distraction, and here I am with the biggest one I could have stumbled on.
It’s not because it will take me off the hunt. Nothing takes me off the hunt.
No, I can’t afford this distraction because it makes me want things I can’t have.
Why can’t you have them?
Fuck. The “old me” has been a chatty fuck these past two weeks.
Logically, nothing keeps me from getting this tiny little thing naked and fucking this attraction out of my system. When I became the “new me,” no rules said I had to become a fucking monk. All I have to give someone is secrets and lies, so why bother? Lies of omission and lies big bold and bad. The day I “died,” I knew anything good I had left in me to give someone was a thing of the past.
Including fucking sexy, petite coffee shop owners.
It doesn’t stop me from wanting her, though.
“Why are you doing this, Drew?”
It’s not the first time she’s asked me. She asked me the whole way to her place every day for the first week. She’s just never asked me with that expression on her face. One that screams unsure and fearful.
Fuck me. Another punch to my resolve. I want to make sure that look never crosses that angelic face again. Consequences be damned.
I look toward the staircase that, I assume, leads to the main level of her house and acts as a separator from this entryway.
“She won’t be back down here for a bit. She’s watching her favorite group, and they suck her attention up, so stop avoiding the question…” She pauses. “Please? I’ve gone over and over it. You clearly have a reason.” She clears her throat as color rises on her cheeks. The burn in my throat makes me want to give her more than anyone outside my team has gotten in over twenty years … me.
“I know men like you,” she continues, making me pause. “My parents hired men like you. You’re always alert. You make sure to keep Riley close. You even make sure to shield me when we come around alleyways low in foot traffic. Always looking for a threat. Always have your guard up and in place. So yes, I know men like you. What I need to know is why are you protecting my niece and me?”
Well, fuck.
“I’m an outstanding citizen. I donate heavily to charities. I make sure I check the pulse of the world I left behind on a regular basis. The upper crust of this world doesn’t care about me, nor do they care I left their fold. I have no enemies, Drew. None. Riley is practically a baby, so I know she doesn’t have any. So what could possibly make you think you need to be here to protect us? I can’t for the life of me figure you out. We’ve managed just fine on our own for three years, you know.”
She takes a huge gulp of air and drops the hands she had been fidgeting together in front of her to her sides. With one more hefty inhale, she blows the air out slowly, seemingly getting a decent hold over her nerves.
“Please, Drew.”
I have to hide the wince. I fucking hate when she calls me Drew.
“I can deal with a lot,” she continues. “I’ve lived a life that means I can handle it, whatever it is. What I can’t handle is this constant state of unknown. I’m a planner. I need to plan. It calms me. Please … I need to know what has you acting as a shadow whenever we step outside of my home.”
I open my mouth to answer but close it when I hear Riley’s voice coming from deep in the house, yelling in … no way … “She speaks Korean?”
Olivia rolls her eyes. “You’re silent for years. Coming into the shop without so much as a peep. Sprinkle in a few grunts and a handful of single-syllable words, but for the most part, you,” she huffs and pokes my chest, “are silent. Silent during this new development of you becoming my shadow to and from work. And that is what gets you to finally talk?”
I shrug. What can I really say that she will understand? The kid is cool. Try as I might to stay indifferent to her, she makes me feel like I’m back at home. Though, all those kids are a long way away from the little kid that Riley is. Regardless, she reminds me of this awesome little guy I knew in a different life. I often wonder how he is, how all of them are, but Riley’s made me miss that part of the old me a lot more than I ever have. No, that’s not right … Riley and Olivia have made me miss that part of my old life.