The man peers down at me. There’s a wild look in his eyes, and he’s unable to stand straight, swaying from left to right, his knees rimming into my back, painfully. I hate him.
“Amy, my Princess, don’t make me hurt you, okay?” he says, his words sounding funny. “Just don’t make any sudden movements, okay. Your mother, your aunt and I have to sort out a few things and we’ll be one big happy family again.”
No, my family didn’t include him. Auntie has a boyfriend though. He comes over and plays with me. He says he has his own kids too, that I’ll meet soon.
“Please, I’ll do anything, just let my daughter go,” Mom cries, frantically waving her hands in the air. “What do you need from me? I’ll do it.”
“That’s a loaded question, Nicky,” the man says, shifting on his feet but I feel him ease the knife on my neck. “Take a good look at me. What do you see right now?”
“I…” Mom starts, tears rolling down her cheeks. “You’re obviously drunk.”
“Yes!” the man exclaims. “I’m drunk, Nicky! I drink all day to wash away the sadness you left me with. You left me alone, Nicky. After everything, you left me alone.”
“You hurt me…” Mom stutters, her body shaking. No, this man hurt my mommy.
“That was a mistake and I apologized for it.”
“Apologized?” my aunt scoffs. “You did no such thing! You’ve been hurting my sister, controlling her financially, you don’t fucking deserve her!”
“And it’s all because of your stupid sister!” He shouts, pointing the butcher knife at my aunt. “If she had listened to what I said and stopped being so damn stubborn, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“Listen to what you say? You mean raising Amy only to sell her to the highest bidder just so you can show your stepfather who doesn’t give a damn about you?”
“Don’t you dare mock me!” he growls. “I’m not selling my daughter! What kind of monster do you think I am? I only mentioned that there are deals we could make when she’s older that will get us to the next level.”
“Deals, huh?”
“Bitch please, that’s a language you understand very well, isn’t, Nancy? Since you’re the one who convinced my fiancé to come out all the way here to Palos Verdes just so you can what? Quench your desperation for that shithead?”
His grip on my shoulder tightens and I cry out, wincing in pain.
“Nathan please, let her go!” Mom stutters, her voice broke. “She’s terrified.”
“Well that’s your fault, isn’t it? If I had been around to raise her these past three years, she’d not be terrified of anything. She’d know that she can rule the world, sit on her rightful throne and make my enemies suffer.”
No. I don’t want that. I just want my mommy.
“You have a knife at her throat!” Auntie shouts. “What do you expect her to do.”
“Shut up, Nancy! You think I don’t know about your affair with him? You think I don’t know that you came here, thinking that he’ll protect you? Well fuck that! I’m going to teach you both a lesson!”
“Nathan, please, whatever you think of me, it doesn’t have to involve anyone. You and I can sort it out as adults. Just let my sister and her child go,” Aunt Nancy says, her voice strong and steady unlike my mom’s shaky and broken one.
I glance at my Mom. She’s hugging her trembling frame like she’s cold, like me. I feel so cold.
“No, I think MY fiancé and MY daughter should stay and listen to how this is all going to go down from now on,” the man starts, his voice chilling. “Nicky, you’re going to sign these papers.”
Stacks of papers are thrown in Mom’s direction. At first, she doesn’t make a move to grab them, but the man tugs at my hair painfully, making me cry out.
“Okay, okay!” Mom grabs the papers. “What are these?”
“You’re going to sign away all your maternal rights of Amy over to me. You will no longer have any rights to take her away from me or use her to hurt me. You will not be her mother anymore.”
What? No!
“What? NO!” Mom screams. Aunt Nancy gasps and I stand there, eyes wide with terror as I look at my mother, pleading with her not to sign those papers.
“Mommy, don’t,” I cry, but she doesn’t look at me at all. My heart starts beating faster now, it makes my ears ring.
“Nicky, he doesn’t have any rights to make you sign anything,” my aunt seethes.
“Really? You think I don’t?”
Everything happens so damn fast after that.
First, I feel a sudden gust of wind coming from my left, like a strong. cold breeze.
Someone lets out a blood curling scream and the next thing I feel is a hard, painful blow to my head.
“AMY!”
I scream as the pain travels through my body, my head feels like it’s about to fall off. It hurts so bad. I can’t stop screaming and crying. The next thing I know, I’m on the floor, clutching my head, folded within myself.
I can’t see properly. I keep screaming and crying the pain won’t stop. It gets worse.
There’s a hazy, white fog behind my eyelids, calling to me, beckoning for me.
“Oh my God! What did you do? You hurt her! You hurt my daughter, you son of a bitch! Amy, wake up baby, please!”
But I can’t wake up, the pain is too much.
“Sign them!”
“Okay, I will, but I need to know if she’s still…”
“I said sign them!”
“Okay, okay.”
“And you, there’s a marriage license on that stack, sign it!”
“What? No!”
“I’m going to fuck him up! You and I are getting married. Now, sign it.”
“No! I won’t!”
Another gust of wind, another split second and I feel it again, this time, the blow is so hard, so painful that I just give in to the hazy white fog behind my eyes.
1
Gasping awake, I look around and wonder, my head hurting so bad, I wince at the pain that shoots through my head.
Who was that incredibly sad little girl? What happened to her? And oh God, why can’t I remember her name?
There’s something about nightmares that make them seem like they have the ability to bleed into your stream of consciousness, arresting your mind to the point where you feel like you’re drowning in agony, falling to a bottomless pit of nothingness.
The heaviness in my lungs makes it hard to breathe.
My body is covered in a sheen of sweat, and as the chilly breeze from the open hotel room window wafts through the room, I’m chilled to the bone.
I try tossing and turning, desperate for some semblance of warmth, of peace, but I can’t stop shaking.
I’m half unconscious, half almost screaming from the nightmares and the pressure in my chest that I can’t make stop no matter what I do.
I try to fight.
I try to scream.
I try to kick, clawing at my chest, my nails digging into my flesh, but it does nothing. I feel nothing but more pressure, an acute pain and terror.