I lower my eyes. I got caught in the act. I’m not trying to hide it. I just … wish I could’ve kept my promise to her.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
She sighs and sits down on the bed, grabbing my arm. “Stop apologizing.”
“I promised you I’d try. But …” I rub my lips together. “When I saw all those people, I just froze.”
“Oh, honey,” she murmurs, pulling me in for a big hug. “I know things have been hard on you. I’m so sorry it has to be like this.” Her body grows rigid. “If I could get my hands on that boy, I would’ve strangled him myself.”
“Mom!” I gasp, leaning away to look at her.
She grabs my face with both hands. “You know I’d do anything to protect you. And I’m sorry I failed you.”
Tears stain my eyes. “You didn’t fail me. But I can’t … I can’t go back there.”
She gives me a heart-wrenching smile. “I know, honey.”
She’s been trying to tell me for months that it’d be beyond hard to return, and that it would never be like it was before, but I wouldn’t listen to her. I didn’t want to believe her because it was easier than facing the truth.
But I saw it with my own eyes now. I don’t belong there anymore.
“That school may not be the right fit for you anymore. But there are options. Your cousin’s school is close by. You could go there,” she says.
I frown. “But then … I’d leave everything behind.”
“Exactly. It’d be good for you. A fresh start. Somewhere new, where no one knows you.”
My heart feels like it’s bleeding. “But what about Sam?”
“Sam will understand,” she says, grabbing my shoulders. “You need to do what’s best for you now.” When she sees my hesitation, she continues. “You can stay friends. You just won’t be able to see each other every single day. But you can see each other every other day,” she adds, smiling.
“Yeah …” I say, but a tear still manages to escape my eye.
“I think it’ll be good for you,” she says, brushing away the tear. “I’ll go ahead and call your cousin. I’m sure she’ll be willing to help out. What do you think?”
I nod, and she immediately hugs me again. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
But it’s not. Even though a new school means no prejudice and no one who knows I’m that girl, it still means separating myself from everything I ever knew. My friends … my life.
I’ll be starting all over if that’s even possible after everything I’ve been through.
But I gotta give it a try because I deserve to move on. I deserve to be happy.
Chapter 5
Monica
Now
After dinner, I go to the address Mel texted me and wait outside.
“Hey!” She’s right behind me, and I’m a bit startled when she calls out. “I’m glad you made it. Please tell me I didn’t make you wait too long.”
“Oh no, I’ve only been here for like five minutes,” I say with a fake but cheerful smile.
“Cool.” She returns my smile.
She opens the door and lets me inside first. It’s loud and noisy, but there’s no guard inside and no one to take tickets, which surprises me.
“It’s a free concert to get donations for charity,” she says when I look confused.
“That explains it. I was expecting a ticket counter,” I reply.
“They have these free indie concerts every month. The club pays for them to play,” she explains.
“Cool. Who’s up tonight?” I ask. “Any bands I know of?”
She rubs her lips together. “Hmm … maybe …” She giggles to herself.
Now I’m really curious. “What?”
“Oh, fuck.” She points at the stage. “If I knew TRIGGER was gonna play right now, I would’ve come later,” she scoffs.
When I look at the guy on stage, it’s as though the whole room has gone icy cold.
It’s him.
Cole Travis, with his dark hair all gelled up and combed back, playing the electric guitar and singing into the microphone, right there on stage. The only thing he’s wearing is a pair of black leather pants and a blazer … no shirt … which puts his thick, taut abs on full display, and it’s making me swallow … hard.
Suddenly, he stares back at me with that same smoldering gaze, lighting my whole body on fire.
Fuck.
Something tells me this isn’t going to be a fun and easy night out.
Cole
I love the way the girls hang on my lips as I sing the notes to our dirtiest song yet. How they scream my name between every sentence as if they’re begging me to give them a simple glance. Performing is one of the only things that can truly get me going.
Until I spot her.
The girl with the long, dark hair cascading over her shoulders and that wistful stare that could crush a guy’s soul if he dared to get close.
What the hell is she doing here?
She’s in the back of the room near the bar next to Melanie.
So she managed to find out what her phone number was after all …
I smirk to myself.
And here I was, thinking Monica would give up easily. Guess this one’s got more bite in her than I thought.
She glares at me with contempt in her eyes, and I know damn well why that is. I was a complete asshole to her, and now she’s here watching my fucking show. She must be pissed as hell that we’re performing here tonight, judging from the grumpy look on her face.
It’s the first time I’ve ever seen any girl look at us like that, and I can’t say I like it, but I don’t hate it either.
There’s something about her that’s so defiantly pretty that I can’t stop looking even though I should be paying as much attention to my actual fans standing in the crowd. She captures my attention without even trying, and it’s annoying as hell.
I run my fingers through my hair and scream out the last few notes to the chorus. Sweat drips from my eyebrows as I give it my all. Any night we play, we play our best because you never know who might be watching and who might be offering us a deal.
But this girl … this girl’s eyes have me in their grip, and I can’t fucking look away no matter how much I try. Not even as I grip my junk while singing, making all the girls in front of me squeal their lungs out.
Nothing seems to faze her.
Why?
And why do I care so much?
I shouldn’t even be thinking about Monica. If I even try to get close to her, I’m sure Ariane would stir up plenty of rumors about me just to punish me.
I’m already a bad guy as it is, and I’m not about to make it worse. Especially with one of Ariane’s friends being in the crowd too.
As the song ends, I put the microphone back on the stand, and my tongue darts out while staring at her, just like she’s staring at me. My eyes fall to her lips as I imagine ravaging them until they’re swollen and pink, and all the other filthy things I could do to those pretty lips.
But I don’t like that she’s looking back at me as though she wishes she was somewhere else. And it makes me want to lash out.