So I grab the nearest girl standing at the edge of the stage and whisk her up into my arms, smacking my lips onto hers as if I already own her when I don’t even know her damn name, and I don’t fucking want to.
But my eyes … they still can’t stay focused on anything other than Monica and the scornful look on her face, even while I’m kissing another girl.
But I don’t fucking care.
I hope she fucking looks as much and as hard as she can.
Because that’s the closest I’ll ever get to her jealous little heart.
Monica
I can’t stop looking. Can’t stop homing in on his eyes when his tongue licks his bottom lip. Can’t stop picturing all the things he could do to me with that same tongue.
But this boy is so much sin wrapped in a single package that I cannot, under any circumstances, ever unwrap.
So I falter and force a frown on my face to send a signal that I’m not interested, and I’m not to be messed with. Even when I secretly am.
But then he picks another girl from the crowd and smashes his lips to hers, and my jaw practically drops. A pang of unwanted jealousy hits me in the stomach.
I don’t know this boy, and I certainly don’t nor should ever want to.
Yet I can’t help but wonder if he did that on purpose to mess with me. Or has he always tried to grope one girl while looking at another?
Because his eyes never stop boring into my soul.
Fuck.
“Earth to Monica. Hello?” It’s only when Mel snaps her fingers right in front of my face that I finally manage to break the connection between Cole and me. “Are you okay?” she asks, laughing a little.
“Yeah,” I reply, clearing my throat. “Is it hot in here, or is that just me?”
“Um … no, not really,” she says, looking confused. “I was just about to order drinks. Want something?”
“Ahh … just a Coke, please,” I reply, and I fish in my pocket to grab some cash for her to pay for the drinks with. “Here.”
“Keep it,” she says, waving it off. “It’s on me.”
I smile as she walks off, but my eyes instantly resume gawking at Cole. I wish I could stop. I should stop. But something about him forces me to look, forces me to find him wherever he goes. But it isn’t a pretty sight. He’s practically ravaging a girl right behind the curtains off stage but close enough that I can still see. He gropes her butt and kisses her voraciously in a way that makes my stomach churn … and my mouth water at the fantasy that it could be me in her shoes.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
“Here you go,” Mel says as she hands me my drink.
I almost gulp it down in one go.
Mel’s eyes widen as she stares at the glass. “Boy, you’re really thirsty, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, thanks,” I say, leaving a few sips in so it’s not awkward. “It’s just really hot in here.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks, raising a brow. I don’t know how to reply, but she immediately adds, “I can see you staring at him, you know.”
I choke on the Coke and swallow it down so fast my eyes water and turn red. “Staring? Me? No, I was just—”
She snorts. “Save it, girl, I know a crush when I see one.”
Now I wished I hadn’t gulped down that Coke because the bile is rising in my throat already at the thought of someone catching me staring at Cole fucking Travis … and thinking it’s a crush.
“I don’t have a crush,” I explain.
She holds up her hands in surrender. “Relax, I won’t judge you. You aren’t the first.” She rolls her eyes. “And you definitely won’t be the last.”
Jesus. Are there so many girls pining over a guy like him?
Mel takes a sip of her Coke before continuing. “But I need to warn you. You really don’t want to go there, trust me. Last year, he had a huge falling out with his ex because she accused him of cheating.” She searches the crowds for someone. “She’s not here, but she has one of her friends spy on him and tell her everything he does.” She points into the crowd at a blonde, swaying back and forth to the filler music. “Right … there.”
“Kind of obsessive,” I reply.
“Word,” Mel says, taking another big sip. “Boys like that are nothing but trouble.”
“Right,” I mutter as I move my hand until the Coke begins to swirl in the glass. Still, my eyes can’t stop trying to catch a glimpse of this same bad boy. Like a cigarette—a dirty, filthy addiction that I can’t say no to. Occasionally, anyway.
Chapter 6
Monica
When I drop onto my bed, I breathe a sigh of joy. It was such a long night with Mel, and I enjoyed every second of it. Dancing, drinking, partying … staring at a forbidden boy.
I roll around on the bed and bury my head in my pillow, forcing myself to forget, but no matter how hard I try, his face keeps drifting to the forefront of my mind, along with vivid imagery of every single kiss he gave to that girl … and how I wished I was her instead.
Fuck.
I’m really done for, aren’t I?
Nothing sadder than a girl with a hopeless crush.
Especially when that girl should not be anywhere near boys right now, let alone falling for them.
Shaking my head, I open my drawer and take out my vibrator. Better take care of this craving right now before I do something I’ll regret tomorrow at school when I’ll most likely see that handsome face again.
But even as I bring myself satisfaction, I can’t stop thinking about those sinful green eyes and that sexy glance he shot my way as he kissed someone else. Something about that turns me on like nothing else, and I moan out loud and whisper his name while I come.
I lie down on the bed with my hands to my side and stare at the ceiling, wondering if I’ll ever stop crushing on the wrong guys.
Probably not.
I get up and clean the toy before burying it deep in my drawer again. I brush my teeth and throw on some pajamas before hopping back into bed. But even as I drift off into sleep, I dream about Cole and all the dirty, filthy things he’ll whisper in my ear if I ever let him get near.
Back at school, I try to blend in as well as I can while still trying to find the way to all my classes. It takes some time to get used to the layout as well as the amount of time I have to find the next class. But I have Mel to help me out when needed now. We don’t share all our classes, but I can text her anytime and ask for directions. She even offered to help me catch up on homework and topics, which is really nice of her.
The bell rings, so I hastily search for my math books in my messy locker. Right then, two girls position themselves right beside me, one of them opening up her own locker.
“Were you at that party last night where TRIGGER was playing?”
“Fuck yes, of course I was there,” the other girl replies, rummaging in her locker. “Cole was soooo good. I can’t believe he goes to our school. We’re so lucky.”
I try to pretend I don’t exist while still listening to the conversation.
“Did you hear? That girl he was kissing there was invited to the back,” the girl says. “Apparently, she gave him …”