“Uh, sorry, Mr.—”
“Have you been drinking?” he asked before I could finish, his eyes narrowing.
“No!” I’d never been so glad I didn’t drink. I had a feeling this guy was a human lie detector.
“Where are your keys?” He continued to eye me with suspicion.
“In the bowl by the front. Where the sign said to drop them.” I gulped.
Mr. Stevenson’s face split into a broad smile. “Then why aren’t you drinking?” He pounded me on the back and slapped a beer he’d pulled seemingly out of nowhere into my hand. I stared at it, too stunned for a moment to do anything but feel the chill of condensation on my palm. Mr. Stevenson strode to a window at the end of the hallway and looked out, cracking open his own beer. “Look at that.”
I hung back, but he gestured at me to come closer, so I inched forward. Looking through the window, I could see the full chaos of the party displayed. People chased each other across the lawn in swimsuits, pushed each other into the pool, made out against the palm trees, and danced with cups in the air to music that I could barely hear. Mr. Stevenson sighed and took a swig of his beer.
“Now that is what a high school party should be, right? Those are fucking memories.” He clinked his beer to the one I had in my hand, then resumed staring out at the party, a proud expression on his face. It was my chance to back away. I needed to find Kaia in the next few minutes, and if I didn’t, I was ready to grab my keys and bail. I took a careful step backward. Steve’s dad turned away from the window and glared at me, his eyes flicking to my can. “You’re not drinking.”
“Uh . . . I . . .”
A door opened and a wave of smoke poured out, followed by Steve. Spotting me and his dad at the end of the hall, he sauntered over. “Hey, Dad. That Granddaddy Purple is the shit. Thanks. Gotta steal Cam, though. We’re on a secret mission.” He swung his arm over me.
Mr. Stevenson beamed at his son, his pride evident. “Have fun, boys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He chortled. Gross.
Steve steered me away, plucking the beer from my hand and leaving it on a table. “We wouldn’t want to sully that temple of righteousness.” I’d been momentarily grateful for being rescued from his dad, but as Steve dragged me down the hall, my irritation returned. I shrugged out of his grasp.
“You know what? I’m good, Steve. You can go back to your karaoke or target practice or whatever.”
Steve gasped, offended. “What? No way! What sort of host would I be? I mean, it’s obvious you don’t have any friends. Like, no one knows you. I checked.”
“It’s not like the whole class is here.”
“Um, they kinda are.”
“I have friends outside of school,” I said, thinking of Todd and Patrice.
Steve clapped his hands to his cheeks. “Ohhh. Are they from Canada?”
I crossed my arms. “Kaia’s my friend.”
“Right. The amazing Kaia. You told me. So let’s go find her! I don’t want you to be lonely, Cam.” Steve’s tone was heavy with concern. I was a pacifist, but he was making me seriously reconsider.
We turned down a hallway.
“How big is this place?” I’d been wondering but now I had to ask. At this point, I had lost all sense of direction. It was one beige tiled hall after another.
“Hmmmm, five thousand seven hundred square feet plus the pool house?” Steve ventured. “My dad’s a contractor. Does a lot of shit in Calabasas. This place is basically a write-off.”
He pulled us down another hall while I contemplated what it must be like to live in a palace. “Running out of rooms . . .” Steve singsonged. “Where could amazing Kaia be?” I didn’t bother to answer.
As we turned a corner, music that had been distantly thumping suddenly got louder. A wide archway revealed a dining room with a table so big it had two chandeliers hanging over it. It must have looked super impressive and formal most days, but tonight it was being used as a dance floor. Girls were standing on top of the shining wood, swaying along with the music, the drinks held high in their hands occasionally spilling onto the table.
“Lots of medium-sized brown-haired girls up there, Cam,” Steve observed. “Any of them yours?”
“Kaia’s not mine.”
“I hope not, because you’re doing a terrible job keeping track of her.” He crossed over to the table, helped a few girls to climb off in order to make space, and patted it. “Hop up there, buddy. Ask away!”
I crossed my arms. “Don’t tell me what to do.”
Steve just cocked an eyebrow and waited. I sighed and climbed up on the table.
“Hi. I’m looking for Kaia.”
A girl dancing on the floor squinted up at me. “Who are you?”
“I’m Cam, Sadie. We have AP Bio together.”
She scrunched up her nose. “I don’t think so.”
“He’s the one who hates Cardi B!” I turned. Stumbling from the corner where she’d been dancing next to (or possibility with) an oversized vase filled with artistically arranged sticks, the girl from earlier weaved her way toward me.
Steve whirled around to face me, aghast. “What? A Cardi hater? How did you get in?”
“He said she was a bad role model for me,” the girl whined.
Steve gasped and clutched his chest. “No!”
“She glorifies being a stripper! How is that good?” I sounded defensive, but come on.
Steve nodded. “Ahhhh! Now I get it! You’re here to rescue Kaia from my corrupting influence!”
“What? No—”
“With the beer. And the Cardi. And the fun. I mean, look at all this.” He gestured to the debauchery around us. “Poor Kaia. She must be so frightened.”
“That is not at all—Kaia can take care of—”
Steve cupped his hands around his mouth. “Does anyone know where this Kaia is so Cam can save her?”
“I’m not here to rescue anyone!” I wasn’t. Kaia was obviously the last person on earth who would need rescuing. Not that Steve would be able to wrap his mind around the idea that there were girls out there who were as strong and independent as her. The only person who needed rescuing right now was me. From Steve. I just needed to get off this table and go home. At this point I was pretty sure Kaia wasn’t here. It was obviously not her scene. We could laugh about it at the next Save the Shark meeting.
“Kaia’s in the kitchen!” A girl ran into the room through another archway, waving her arms in drunken excitement. Behind her, I could see the glow of overhead lights and the corner of a granite countertop. My heart stopped. “I found her!” she continued excitedly. “She’s in the—” The girl vomited on the floor in front of the table. People leaped out of the way, shrieking.
“Oh my god! This is so exciting!” Steve squealed. “Our long journey is finally at an end. Just one more obstacle to surmount. The lake of vomit!” He said this last bit in a low booming voice and then gave me a shove, pushing me toward the edge of the table. “Go get her, big guy.”
Holy shit. Kaia was here.
I didn’t need Steve to push me. I jumped off the edge of the table and over the vomit and stepped through the archway.